Despondent | (Completed but editing)

Chapter 19.

Waking up next to Jason is a relief. Knowing I can finally call him mine makes my heart jump. I stare at him sleeping and he looks angelic. Anyone else with messy hair, sleepy eyes, and a slightly parted mouth couldn't look as good this. Seeing him so peaceful is so calming to me. I kiss the tip of his perfect button nose and sit back, yawning and rubbing my eyes. I feel his arm reach out for me and it grabs me round the waist and pulls me to lay back down next to me.

"Good morning beautiful," he says in a low raspy tone.

"Good morning," I say, brushing his hair out of his face.

"Stay in bed for a bit," he whines into my neck, pulling me close to him.

"As much as I'd love that, I do have to go to college today," I say and lay a quick kiss on his lips before getting out of bed and picking out one of my new oversized and skinnies to wear today. I grab a bra and panties along with a towel and head into the bathroom. I run a shower and jump in it quickly, trying not to wet my hair as much as I could because I don't have any energy to dry it and re style it today. I let the hot water relax my body before rubbing my favourite body wash all over myself, on the body I am growing more comfortable with everyday. My slowly healing cuts still sting but it's a familiar sting that I once craved. I wash the foam off of my body and jump out, wrapping the towel around my body. Walk to the mirror and brush my teeth quickly before getting changed. I pull the jumper over my head and it's so soft on the inside, giving me the feeling of a constant hug. The dark red of the jumper looks good with the black skinny jeans I have on.

I lightly fill in my eyebrows giving them a more arched look and I run a few coats of mascara over my lashes, volumising them. I walk out of the bathroom and into my bedroom and I look down at Jason on his phone. He looks up at me and just stares.

"What?" I ask him, as he's been staring at me constantly for the past thirty seconds.

"You look stunning," he tells me and pulls me on top of him to where I'm straddling his waist.

"I take it you're not coming into college today?" I ask him as he cuddles my stomach, his arms wrapped tightly around my waist.

"Nope, I have sleep to catch up on," he replies, his voice still raspy and muffled.

"Hmm okay, well you're free to stay here for the day if you want, I'll be home around 4," I tell him and play with his hair, earning a small groan from him.

"Okay," he says and looks up at me.

"I can't see your face, your boobs are in the way," he tells me, and we both giggle.

"Shut up," I say and climb off of him, grabbing my phone from my side of the bed. I unlock it and see a message from my old friend, Kayla.

Kayla: how's New York?

Me: it's good, how's London?

Kayla: shit. College is shit. Wyd?

Me: with my bf, about to go to college. Shouldn't you be asleep? It's like 3am in London.

Kayla: ya I can't sleep. And fuck off about you have a boyfriend. You don't have a boyfriend.

"Jason, my friend doesn't believe we're dating," I say with a pout and he giggles and kisses my forehead.

"Take a selfie with me," he suggest and sits next to me with his arm around me. I bring up the camera on my phone and extend my arm to get both me and Jason in the shot. We both smile and I snap a photo. Jason then sticks his tongue out and so do I, and I snap another. Jason grabs my cheeks and makes me look like a fish and takes the photo, and then proceeds to kiss me and snap another. I smile at him and send them to Kayla.

Kayla: he's fit. I'm going to sleep ttyl.

I shut off my phone and stand up, stretching my arms above my head. I let out a moan as my muscles feel a release.

"That was a hot sound," Jason says, laying down as I pull my boots on.

"I have to leave, feel free to make food or have a beer or whatever while I'm gone just don't make a mess," I tell Jason whilst grabbing my bag, phone and car keys.

"Of course, do I get a kiss before you leave?" He says with a pout on his face, looking adorable.

"Yes," I say and leave a small peck on his lips, only a slight bit of emotion put into the kiss, "I'll see you at four."

I walk out of the door and into the elevator, pressing the ground floor.

-

I'm so excited to finally get into my last class of the day, drama. For someone with a low self esteem, I was quite good at drama. Other people never judged me in drama and it was a great way to express myself. I was also paired up with a lovely girl called Harper, and we get to perform our physical theatre piece today. Harper was lovely, she had short ginger hair that was always curled nicely, a small but curvy physique, and cherry red lips to top it off. I walk into the drama block and take my seat next to Harper.

"You look lovely today," she smiles at me as I take my seat.

"Thank you so much," I reply, blushing slightly.

"Are you ready to perform today?" She asks me.

"I guess so, I'm a little nervous but our piece has a lot of emotion behind it," I tell her.

"Thanks to you," she says with a smile.

Our teacher enters the small room and calls out everyone's names, marking them present and absent. There's only twelve people in this class which makes it a lot more comfortable for me to perform.

"So all we are doing today is performing what we practised last week. You are all going to be graded but only so I know where everyone is standing at the moment," our teacher, Miss Clarke tells us. She sets up two chairs in the middle off the room and has us all sit in a circle around the perimeter of the room.

"I'd like Harper Porter and Lana Silva to go first please," she tells the class and me and Harper both stand awkwardly. We place white masks over our face before sitting on the two chairs, facing each other. The music is played and me and Harper's arms and legs move in exaggerated movements.

Our piece is over quickly along with everyone else's. Me and Harper walk out of our class together and we retrieve our shoes from the cloakroom.

"Fancy coming over to my place for a bit?" I ask Harper as we step into the cold outdoors.

"Of course," she tells me and follows me to my car, "wait, you have your own place? Not a dorm room?"

"Nope," I say, unlocking my car letting us both inside, "my dad made sure I got an apartment."

"That's so cool, all the apartments here are so lovely," she says as we drive off campus.

"Yeah I love my apartment, it's at the top of a tall block and the view is amazing."

"It must be, especially the view over New York."

"It's beautiful, especially at night. It's like something out of a movie."

"I can't wait to see it," she says and sounds so excited.