Despondent | (Completed but editing)

Chapter 49.

"I do know. I'm sorry," I says, wiping my eyes with my sleeve.

"Come on darling, you're tired," he says, jolting me with his shoulder.

"Mm, I saw my mum today," I tell Jason as he slides my arm out of my jacket.

"Really? Was it good or bad?"

"I was walking round my old house, and I saw her coming out of Liam's house pushing a pram and she saw me and we spoke, but then she had a go and walked off," I tell him as he takes my jacket off my and puts it on the floor between the two beds.

"Oh, I'm sorry," he says, kneeling on the floor and bringing my foot up in his hand, untying my laces.

"I'm going to miss you Jason," I admit, and we make eye contact. His ashy grey eyes are almost completely black, his pupils dilated, only leaving a small ring of his iris.

"I will miss you too Lana," he says, looking down and sliding one of my shoes off before placing my foot down and picking up the other.

"I'm sorry I was so bad throughout the relationship," I say.

"Don't apologise Lana," Jason says, standing up and taking my hand in his. He pulls me up and lets go of my hand to pull the covers back on the bed. I sit in the space he's created, laying my head on the pillow. Jason pulls the duvet over my body as I readjust my body until I am comfortable.

Jason walks around to the other side of the bed and climbs on top, not moving the covers out of the way. He moves towards me and wraps his arm under my neck and places his hand on my head. He snakes his hands through my hair and begins to massage, soothing me and making me sleepy.

"This is the end then?" I whisper, my heart aching and my eyes watering.

"It is, for the best," Jason replies. I reach over to the bedside table and switch the small lamp off so he won't be able to see my tears.

"I will miss this, I'll miss us."

"I will too, Lana. I should've been honest from the start," he says.

"It was good while it lasted, Jay."

"I know gorgeous. Just so you know, you have made me extremely happy."

"And you have made me very happy, Jason."

"I'm glad. I hope you find someone who will treat you well and treasure you forever, Lana. You deserve it."

"You too Jason. I just wish I could've been that person, but I guess some things just aren't meant to be."

"Can I tell you something, I'll be real with you?" He asks.

"Of course," I reply, sniffing from the inevitable tears.

"Here is the truth; sometimes your best is not always good enough for the thing that you wanted."

"I guess so, Jason. And you're the thing I wanted, and I tried my best. So I wasn't good enough for you," I say, and I hear him audibly cry for the first time in ages.

"There's so much about me still unknown to you, Lana, I wish I could've told you what's actually wrong with me, in my mind."

"I'll always only be a text or a call away."

"And so will I, beautiful."

"Always, Jason."

"Get some sleep, please Lana," he says and the comfort in his voice is clear. My eyes are fluttering shut and I feel myself falling asleep.

"Lie to me again, just one more time," I sniff.

"I love you," he whispers.

THE END!