Despondent | (Completed but editing)

Chapter 46.

IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE AT THE END!

"This is where we'll be staying?" Jason says, his eyes wide at the huge hotel room in front of us.

"Yes, only for 3 nights," I tell him and set my bag down.

"It's so beautiful," he says, taking a few steps forward to take a proper look around.

"What do you wanna do first then?" I ask Jason, knocking him out of his trance.

"I don't mind, I'm sort of hungry though," he shrugs.

"Ever been to Nando's?" I ask.

"What?"

"There's one like right outside downstairs, we'll go there," I say and walk towards the door of our beautiful, white themed hotel room.

"Okay," he says and follows me.

We step out of the elevator and into the beautifully presented lobby. We earn a few smiles as we walk through it from the people sitting being the desks, each one looking up from their computers. Each counter is polished immaculately, a reflection visible in every surface.

-

"That was great," Jason says, kicking off his shoes and falling back onto the double bed opposite me. I sit on the other double bed and take my converse off too. I lay back and put my arms up above my head, relaxing my whole body. The silk of the cover is cold and brushes against my bare skin, sending a shiver through my body. I hear Jason shuffle around before standing up and climbing on all fours on top of me. I giggle as his long hair brushes against my face.

"Stoppp," I whine between giggles. He dips his head down towards my collarbone and begins nibbling. I smile and shuffle awkwardly, surprising myself at the discomfort.

"What's up?" He says, raising his head.

"I'm not too sure, I just, I don't know," I say and he rolls himself off me.

"You can always tell me to stop, you know?" He says.

"I know. I just don't feel myself today," I admit.

"What's wrong?" He asks, propping himself up on his elbow.

"I'm not very sure, I just feel different."

"Is it had different, or?"

"Just.. different," I admit and the uneasy feeling in my stomach begins to fade.

"Well, you know I'm always here if you need to talk to someone," he says and we both exchange a smile.

"I've missed you," I surprise myself with saying.

"What?" He says and laughs, "we've been with each other all day everyday for the past few weeks now."

"I know, I know. I just felt like I've been distant."

"Meh. How's your tattoo now? It's been like two weeks, must be fully healed?"

"Yeah, look," I say and pull my shorts up so he can get a good look at it.

"It's a really pretty design," he says, having a look at it.

"Your dad's pretty talented," I say.

"Oh I know, I wonder why I'm not," he says and we both giggle.

"I'm sure you are, you did well when you helped me with my paintings."

"Trust me I'm not."

"Sh."

"I can't believe you've flown me out to London, Lana," he says.

"Me too, I was thinking about how you said that you'd love to visit London, and I was planning on a visit soon anyway so I contacted my dad and arranged it," I tell him as he plays with a loose strand of my hair that escaped my messy bun.

"That's sweet, really sweet," he says and smiles at me, yawning soon after.

"You tired?" I ask.

"Yeah," he replies, rubbing his eye and standing up, "I'm probably gonna head to bed, I'm gonna take a quick shower."

"Okay," I say and smile as he walks past me and into the large en suite bathroom. He closes the door behind him without locking it, leaving me alone in the bedroom. I click my tongue against the roof of my mouth and my eyes begin to travel to different things situated around the bedroom. I notice all of the small details; how the poles holding the bed up are engraved with small leaves, how the knobs of the drawers are clear and carved into hexagons, the pillows are lined with small pieces of lace.

My eyes continue to grasp at different details, before finally traveling back to my own being. I look down to my feet and see Jason's bag. It's slightly opened and what seems to be the corner of a notebook is sticking out of the opening. I reach down and grab it, pulling the bag up and next to me on the bed. I pull out the notebook, scanning it over. Written on a white label in the top right corner is "Lana". I open it up and read down the first page.

"Lana Silva.

16 as of September 5th 2016.

She's beautiful. Much more beautiful than any girl I have seen for years. More beautiful than my girlfriend. My own girlfriend. Her thick, black, shiny hair frames her face so beautifully. Her full, plump pink lips complete her face ever so perfectly. As she writes her eyebrows are knitted together in concentration, her thoughts hidden behind a perfect face. "

"That's so lovely," I mutter almost inaudibly, flipping through some of the pages and reading the lovely things he's written. He's a very talented writer, all the notes are almost poetic.

I spend minutes reading each thing before something finally brings tears to my eyes.

AUTHORS NOTE

•okay hi. This is important so if you're at all interested in this book then please read (:

- I know I said I'd be doing 99 chapters for this book, but honestly I just can't. I'm bringing this book to an end in the coming chapters. I've had a lot of fun writing but it's time for me to stop. My mental health has been very bad recently and I'm taking a break from everything. I didn't want to stop and let everyone who enjoys reading this down but I'm doing it for my own sake. I'm not going to end it awkwardly so I will be doing a few more chapters but I just wanted to let everyone know that these are going to be the last few. I've had a lot of fun writing this but recently I've been at a lack of ideas and it's becoming really super stressful. I don't want to drag this on with no ideas so it's best to end it now rather than later. I'll be working on a new book soon (:
I'm sorry. Thank you for reading. Xx