Despondent | (Completed but editing)

Chapter 30.

"Good morning, mum," I say, walking into the kitchen and sitting on one of the many stalls surrounding the counter in the middle of our small kitchen.

"Happy birthday, Lana," she turns around and smiles at me, pancakes frying away behind her.

"Thanks," I say and take a sip of the milk she had put out for me on the table before I came down the stairs. She sets out a pancake on a plate in front of me, a tradition of hers for every birthday of mine.

"I can't believe my only daughter is fourteen today, what was you going to do today?" She asks, sitting opposite me.

"Probably see Liam, I guess," I say, swallowing before eating.

"That's cute," she says and slides a white envelope towards me, my name printed in bold across it. I smile and take the square object into my hands. I pry it open and pull out the card. It is all black, with 'daughter' printed in white over the front of it. I open it, hoping the inside will be any better.

'And to my daughter who acts sad for attention from her peers, happy fourteenth birthday. Get out.'

I look up at my mother who is now grinning evilly at me. "Out." Is all she says.

I stand up and walk towards the front door, slipping on my black converses before heading straight out. The cold British air hits me as I walk out onto the street. Roads are covered in a thin layer of ice, giving any passing cars a slippery ride.

And here I was, a fourteen year old girl walking to her boyfriends house, no credit to call him and let him know she's coming. Tears prickle my eyes, but I fight them away. They weren't going to win today.

I finally turn onto Liam's road, walking past a few houses until I reached his. I raise my slim arm into the air, pressing the doorbell twice. Seconds later, Liam opens the door, standing there in only boxers.

"Hey baby, happy birthday," he says, pulling me into a hug and kissing my forehead.

"Hey, thanks," I say after we pull away.

"Get inside, it's freezing," he says, ushering me in and closing the door behind me.

"Why are you here so early?" He asks, yawning.

"Uhm, mum kicked me out," I tell him, following him up the stairs and into his small bedroom.

"What the fuck? Why?"

"I don't know, her birthday card to me told me to get out of the house," I tell him and he pulls me onto the bed.

"You can stay here, of course," he says and I thank him.

"Get back into bed with me, I'm so tired and I have missed your cuddles," he says with a smile and I take my black hoodie and black converse off, climbing under the covers and under his arm, my head resting on his chest. He unpauses the episode of The Walking Dead he had on his small TV.

Liam's arm wraps around my shoulder and pulls me closer to him as we watch an episode of The Walking Dead. His thumb strokes my cheek and he pulls me closer to him and begins to kiss me passionately. I think so at least. His tongue plays with my new lip piercing on my bottom lip, and I part my lips slightly and lazily, not really in the mood for a make out session but I comply anyway because I don't want a pathetic argument tonight. I move my tongue against his and he climbs on top of me, grinding against me and I let out a fake moan just to keep him happy. I don't like how he is when he is angry.

"I want to fuck you Lana," he breathes onto my neck.

"I, I, don't think I'm ready yet," I say. I definitely am not ready to have sex with him. We've only done a few sexual things and I've only ever been fingered once however he was 3 years older than me and he'd been around a few times. He's fucked at least 12 girls and been blown by at least 30. I had given him a few blowjobs in the past few weeks but only to keep him happy. I don't like it when he slaps me. I'll do anything to avoid it.

However, I can't go through with this. I'm only fourteen. I'm not ready to have sex.

"You are ready," he says in a demanding tone, his fringe hitting me in the face as he jolts his head up quickly.

"I'm not," I say, scared.

"It's going to happen tonight. Don't you think I deserve it? You're in my house and I'm letting you stay here whilst you're on bad terms with your mum. Come on, you don't want me to be angry do you?"

"N-no," I stutter, "but Liam please. I don't want to go through with this."

"Well you're going too," he says as his hand connects with my cheek. It stings but I don't complain because it could be a lot worse than that. Maybe that's all he's going to do? He wouldn't force sex on me,  would he? He begins to lift my shirt up and I scream, I scream loud, louder and louder, in the hopes of someone hearing me.

"Shut the fuck up Lana!" He shouts sternly. I just wish his mum would walk through the door now and save me from this. He unhooks my small white bra and pulls it off of my arms, exposing my small boobs. He grins horribly down at my naked chest, making me feel horrible. He grabs both of my wrists and pulls me up from my seat on the bed. In such a fast speed, he pulls off my trousers and pants, tossing them to the other side of the room, and pushing me down on the bed on all fours, my legs spread wide open.

I hear him unzip his trousers and shuffle around for a few seconds before moving towards me once again. His large hands grab each of my hips, and hold me down sturdy. I scream as he lines himself up with me and pushes his whole length in forcefully. The pain is excruciating, especially as there is absolutely no lubricant between me and him. I feel my insides tear apart, this disgusting, dirty, sick man taking all of my innocence away from me.

"Wake up, please!" Jason cries, shaking me. I open my eyes and stare at him, my cheeks soaked with tears. His cheeks too are damp, and his eyes red.

"Breathe," he says as I realise my breathing is rapid and fast, my heart beating out of my chest and my hands shaking out of control.

"Are you okay?" He asks as my breathing slows down and I come back into a regular state.

"What, Jason?" I say and fall onto his chest. I cry, gripping his t-shirt. He wraps his arms tightly around my back, pulling me onto his lap.

"What on Earth were you dreaming about?"

"Jason please, please don't do anything firmly birthday, I'm begging you. Please," I cry into his chest.

AUTHORS NOTE

9k!!! Omg thank you so much!
I love you guys x