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"Dear God," said Julie, kneeling down at her bedside. "One year ago, I didn't think you were real. Hell, two months ago I didn't. I mean, heck. Heck... But it's been exactly a year since I was at my lowest. And now you've showed up for me and given me everything I ever wanted. My babies are healthy, I have Alex and John, I'm in a good place with my family and Sam, and we're all getting through what happened to Jesse. And now you've gone and given me my first number one song this week. It's everything I could've asked for and more."
She opened her eyes and looked out the window, like she was searching for His face out there somewhere.
"But... And I'm sorry if I'm getting really whiny, but... I just don't understand why getting all of those things I wanted hasn't filled me with... You know. That feeling. That fluttering of fireworks and butterflies exploding all around me... Wait, no. That fluttering of butterflies in me and the fluttering of... You know what I'm trying to say. You get it right? Why does it feel so empty?"
The front door opened and Julie immediately stood up. She could hear her daughters giggling, their tiny feet making their way towards her.
She realized, then, that she had been crying. And there had been a lot of it lately. Too much. Happy crying, sad crying, angry crying, worried crying, all kinds of crying. But crying was unacceptable when the girls were around.
She finished wiping her face just as the door opened and the two little bodies ran her way. "Mommy, mommy!" they shouted at her.
Stopping in front of her and catching their breaths while she bent down to their levels, they gave her their greeting hugs and Izzy said, "Daddy's here."
Julie looked up at the entrance. Sam was leaning against the doorway, unshaven and exhausted. "Hey," he said quietly.
She smiled and stood up once again. "Hey," she responded, walking over to give him a hug too. "Thanks for picking them up from Quinn's. Finally back, huh?"
"Yes," Sam sighed. "And super jet lagged. But it's been fun promoting the song and now we finally get a break for Jake's wedding and... How are you? How's it been around here? I was surprised to hear you canceled your promo tour. It wasn't for the girls, was it? Because if they can't stay with your parents you know mine would be more than willing to—"
