Push to the Limit (the sixth book in the Glee series)

Chapter 103: On a Boat

I posted this and then unpublished like right after just because I wanted to troll and then I went to sleep so I wouldn't have to republish until I woke up lol. Here it is again, for good this time.

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Friday, July 5, 2024 - CRUISE DAY ONE - 8:30 PM

When Julie and Amity returned to the deck, it was dark out but the place was illuminated with a mixture of lanterns and strobe lights. In the middle of the deck, the pool was lit up as well, but nobody was swimming. They were all waiting next to the upper deck, where the DJ was spinning and Luke was holding a microphone.

["I'm On A Boat" by The Lonely Island ft. T-Pain.]

Luke (Artie): Aww shit! Get your towels ready it's about to go down (shorty, yeah). Everybody in the place hit the fuckin' deck (shorty, yeah). But stay on your motherfuckin' toes. We runnin' this. Let's go!

Beside him, Artie, Stefan and Travis had their microphones out too and were just as enthusiastic about the song they were performing.

Luke, Stefan and Travis (Artie): I'm on a boat (I'm on a boat). I'm on a boat (I'm on a boat). Everybody look at me cause I'm sailin on a boat (sailin on a boat). I'm on a boat (I'm on a boat). I'm on a boat. Take a good hard look at the motherfuckin boat (boat, yeah)

As Julie and Amity joined Bree, she briefly looked at them and said, "I'm getting a divorce," whilst staring up at Stefan again. Julie patted her shoulder reassuringly and then led Amity through the crowd. 

Stefan: I'm on a boat motherfucker take a look at me. Straight flowin' on a boat on the deep blue sea. Bustin' five knots, wind whippin' out my coat. You can't stop me motherfucker cause I'm on a boat.

On stage, Travis took over the next verse, already having the time of his life. With all the expectations of him on land, while touring, there was never a moment he got to sing something this fun and silly.

Travis (Artie): Take a picture, trick (trick) I'm on a boat, bitch (bitch). We drinking Santana champ, cause it's so crisp (crisp). I got my swim trunks, and my flippie-floppies. I'm flippin burgers, you at Kinko's straight flippin copies.

Luke never got to perform so he was glad to demonstrate to all the 'professionals' how to put on a good show.

Luke: I'm ridin on a dolphin, doin flips and shit. The dolphin's splashin, gettin e'rybody all wet. But this ain't Seaworld, this is real as it gets. I'm on a boat motherfucker, don't you ever forget.

Not shockingly, he and Stefan had chosen the song. 

Luke, Stefan and Travis (Artie): Hey ma, if you could see me now (see me now). Arms spread wide on the starboard bow (starboard bow). Gonna fly this boat to the moon somehow (moon somehow). Like Kevin Garnett, anything is possible!

When Artie was asked to join them, he thought his rapping skills were wanted. But it was his vocal abilities that were utilized, while the other three took care of the rap verses.

Artie (Luke): Yeah, never thought I'd be on a boat (let's go). It's a big blue watery road, yeah. Poseidon... Look at me, oh (all hands on deck). Never thought I'd see the day. When a big boat comin my way. Believe me when I say, I fucked a mermaid.

As the song finished, Julie thanked her stars that they had decided not to let kids on the cruise. "Izzy and Gaby would've already been repeating every word on the song if they were here," she told Amity as they stopped by the bar on the other short end of the pool, away from all the noise.