Capturing Them

Chapter Forty Seven

Capturing Them
Chapter Forty Seven
Sang

When the bell rings, Nathan walks me to the school parking lot entrance where Brandon will meet me. He brings his arm around my waist, pulling me in close to his hard, warm body. I duck my head as my cheeks heat. "You know, Peanut, I should totally skip with you."

I gasp, slapping my hand on his chest as I look up at him. "You can't do that," I whisper. "You'll get into trouble. Besides, you need to be here."

He sighs, his arm tightening. "I know. You're right. Just sucks that you get to skip and I don't."

We come to a stop and I look around us, out of habit. Looking back at Nathan's serious, blue eyes I say, "I'm not skipping. I have permission to leave school."

"In my book, that's skipping." He smirks and I shake my head, laughing quietly. Nathan's blue eyes start to twinkle. "That's my favorite sound."

"Me laughing is your favorite sound?" I ask, shaking my head at how ridiculous that sounds.

"Yeah, it's like music to my goddamn ears," he says, his head lowering just an inch so it's closer to mine.

My hand finds his. The tips of my fingers move against his palm as our hands raise and hover in the air. My eyes don't stray from his face as my finger tips move up his fingers. His eyes leave mine to watch what I'm doing. My heart beats harder in my chest as I press our hands together; palm against palm, fingers against fingers. Looking at them, I find that my hand seems so much smaller than his. "Honey. Nathan," I whisper.

I feel the weight of his eyes on the side of my face. I can't move my own eyes away from our hands as I slide my fingers between his and link them together. "Yeah, Peanut?"

I smile softly as my next words fly around in my head. "For the first time in a long time, I feel happy." My eyes go back to his and I watch as a small smile makes his eyes seem less serious. "I'm happy."

"Me too, Peanut. Me too."

xXx

Brandon arrived seconds after Nathan told me that he was happy too. I get in Brandon's car with a glowing heart and a huge smile on my face. I'm smiling so much, Brandon takes notice and looks over at me with his own grin, making the permanent sadness in his eyes shift to something else. "What are you smiling about, Short Stuff?"

I shake my head. "Honestly?" I ask and Brandon nods his head in response. "I can't remember another time in my life that I've felt so content and happy before. If I don't think of the shooting or the drugs that seem to be going around at the moment, everything seems almost...great."

"Almost great?" He echoes. "Why almost? Why not definitely great?"

My brows dip down into a frown and I look down at my hands. I'm unsure of how to answer this, but hope the words that leave my mouth make some sense. I take a deep breath before saying, "Marc, you, Axel, Raven, and Corey...I'm not sure what's going on with you all and your girlfriend, but I've seen you all whispering; sometimes quietly, sometimes it's heated. You haven't mentioned her at all, and normally—I believe—that guys are supposed to brag about the girl that they call 'theirs', and you don't. I mean, aren't girls supposed to get jealous of other girls? Why isn't she knocking on my door and ripping my hair out for even being this close to you?" I ramble.

My cheeks heat when what I just said actually registers in my head. "I'm sorry. It's none of my business. I'm just..." I trail of, even though I desperately want to say 'curious' and 'concerned'. A strange emotion hits me in the gut and I wrap my arm around myself almost protectively. The feeling is strange and it makes me feel a little sick. When I reognize the emotion, I hate myself for even feeling it. After all, I have no right to.

Jealousy.

I'm jealous of a girl I've never met.

I shouldn't be, but I am. Everything about these guys draws me in; the way they look, the way they speak, smile, and laugh. The way they are with each other, and how they are with me.

The photo of myself, Raven, and Corey flashes in my head and my heart skips a beat.

I'm falling for them—for all of them—and I know that somewhere along the line my heart is going to get broken. I mean, Axel and the others have Kayli. They'll always have Kayli.

My heart hurts just thinking about it.

"Sang, calm down," I vaguely here Brandon say. I shake my head, my hand clutching at my chest as I try and get air into my lungs, but it's almost impossible. "Fuck, shit. We're almost home, Short Stuff." A hand lands on my thigh, squeezing gently. "Deep breaths for me."

I close my eyes and wish for the cord tightening around my lungs to release, so I can finally draw a breath into my lungs, but it seems impossible. My heart is being squeezed tight with my last thoughts.

My god, does it make me selfish for wanting all fourteen of them?

I wish I could understand just a little bit better of what I'm feeling these days.

I vaguely notice the car coming to a stop, and Brandon moving about. I'm too lost in my head to really pay much attention. The car door opens on my side and my seat belt is released. I'm lifted up before I'm placed on the ground. Warm hands cup my face. "Open those pretty eyes and focus on me, Short Stuff."

I blink my eyes open and gaze into Brandon's sad and currently panicked, blue eyes.

"Copy me, okay? Deep breaths." He breaths in deeply and I copy, my body automatically mimicking what he's doing. He releases his breath, the air whispering in a whoosh over my face. I release my own breath.

We do this for a minute and slowly, my heart rate starts to normalize and my lungs start working as they should.

"Jesus, you scared the shit out of me. Are you okay?" Brandon asks, his eyes wide.

I nod my head, my hands coming up and clasping at his hands that still cup my face. "Yeah, I'm fine. W-what was that?"

"I think you had a panic attack," he says softly. I frown. A panic attack? I've never had a panic attack before. "What were you thinking about for you to cause a panic attack, Short Stuff?"

My eyes widen and my cheeks bloom with heat. I can't tell him where my thoughts had gone for me to have a panic attack. I can't and don't want to answer his question, so I change the subject and blurt out the first question that comes to mind. "Why are your eyes so sad?" I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.

He doesn't answer me right away, just stares at me for a long heartbeat or two before saying, "I don't know what you mean."

"Your eyes; they're sad, swirling with a deep depression. Corey's aren't sad; they're happy." I pause, licking my lips. "What happened in your life for you to have sad eyes and your identical twin brother to have happy ones?"

His eyes drop from my face, as do his hands. I hold onto them in my lap, waiting for his response. "I'm not sure if that's something I'm ready to talk about yet," he says, his voice thick and clogged with emotion.

"Do Axel and the others know?" I ask.

"Yeah, but I didn't tell them. Cor did." His eyes come back up to my face. "I want to tell you; I do. I just don't know if I'm ready yet."

I give him a soft smile and nod my head. "That's fine. I'll be here as your friend when you're ready."

Brandon's jaw tightens for a second, as if he's clenching his teeth together. "Maybe a friend isn't what I want you to be. Maybe I want you to be so much more."

My mouth pops open and my eyes widen. Before I have a chance to give him a reply, he scoops me up and into his arms bridal style and carries me toward the house. The whole time, I'm staring at him wondering what he's trying to tell me. At the same time a sassy, brunette woman fleeing from Axel's apartment plays on repeat in my mind, making the guilt settle itself down inside me.