The Missing Frame

Kabanata 17.2

ROLANDO

Aling Linda decided to clock in at Christmas Day, kaya sabi ko iti-triple pay ko na lang siya. Sabi niya siya na raw muna bahala kay Dolores, but I made sure I visited the latter myself para sa kaniya ako mismong magpaalam na alis muna kami ni Natasha. Surprisingly, Dolores didn't spit back at me or anything of the sort, so I greeted her a Merry Christmas and kissed her on the forehead. She glared at me, reminding me that I probably wanted her dead and told me to stop mocking her. Natawa lang ako sa inis niya sa 'kin.

Natasha and I left a little later after lunch. I hated visiting my branch because it always took me hours to get there during normal days. Today, though, walang traffic jams; and I would have almost enjoyed speeding down the roads if it weren't for Natasha barely looking at me. Iniisnab niya ako hanggang makarating kami sa mall – sa branch ko ng Starbucks.

"Hi, sir," tanong sa 'kin ng isang nabalitaan ko ay bagong employee ko. "Kunin ko na lang po order niyo?" Naturuan sigurong mangsipsip sa may-ari. Or perhaps she was looking for some kind of bonus from me.

Dado arrived earlier so mayroon na siyang kape. I ordered for myself and Natasha.

"Okay, got it po," sabi no'ng babae.

I smiled.

She winked.

The young lady beside me whispered the moment my employee was gone: "Bakit ikaw pwede kang lumandi?"

Oh boy, ngumiti lang lumalandi na? "Kasi matanda na 'ko," pagbiro ko.

Inirapan lang ako.

Aba.

She stood up. "CR?"

"Walk straight ahead. Girls' to the left."

Tahimik siyang umalis. I then caught Dado snickering. May pang-asar na 'yan. He'd tell me he'd right a book: The Parental Shortcomings of Rolando Ruelo Roy Rodriguez Roberto, Jr., Ph.D. in Teen-Age Girls Foster Care and Adoption.

"Say, paano ba ang ibang babae 'pag naka-Red Alert?" tanong ko kay Dado. I looked at my phone and tried to wipe off some nonexistent smudge on its tempered glass. Nakakainis yung naglagay non sa mall. Hindi pantay e. "Totoo bang may mga malakas topakin? Si Mom kasi lalong bumabait. Sina Sara naman tsaka si Rachel, pareho silang hyper pa rin. 'Di mo mapapansin." Si Dolores naman, hindi mo rin, of course, mapapansin: para siyang laging meron e. "I've read that most women act weirdly? Like they're in a constant bad mood?"

"Meron ka ba, Roy?" tanong niya. "You've been acting rather weird lately." Nakahirit na naman ang unggoy kong kaibigan. 'Yong pagpatong na naman ni Dado ng mug niya sa lamesa ang sagwa. But I let it go. I was too tired, I guess. I had been feeling like I'd been falling out of my wits. I couldn't sleep soundly earlier. In the past few days to be honest. "Fidgety, if that's the right term."

Hindi ko na natiis. Inayos ko yung mug niya. "Well, I'm always fidgety."

"Additional non-OCD fidgetism."

Tumingin ako sa phone ko. Lock screen wallpaper ko, Snapchat-filtered selfie namin ni Natasha. Siya kumuha nun. Naabno kasi siya. Wala naman akong Snapchat. I unlocked my phone, then locked it, then unlocked it again. Went to my messages. Refreshed it, refreshed it, refreshed it...

Dado was wrong.

No; somehow he was right.

"Kanina ka pa silip nang silip sa phone mo a!" Hinablot ni Dado 'yong phone ko. Mabilis na tiningnan kung ano'ng pinagkakaabalahan ko. "May chicks ka no! Hindi mo sa 'kin sinasabi! Ay, jusko, Roy. Kaya ka ba nalugi na naman? Asan inbox mo?"

E siya lang naman laman ng inbox ko. I immediately delete unnecessary messages. Even's Sara's. His were the only ones I deemed important: reminders and such. "Yeah, may chicks ako riyan," ani ko. "Nakakalimutan ko ngang gawing 'Dado Darling' 'yong name niya sa phonebook e."

He tossed me back my phone. I caught it and wiped the screen because he mght have smudged it a bit with coffee froth.

"Tapos magpo-post ako ng screenshot ng message mo sa Facebook para 'pag nakita ng asawa mo, patay ka, 'tol! Husband's lover."

Napailing lang siya habang humigop ng kape. Siguro naalala niya na naman 'yong mga pangyayari kamakailan kaya sumeryoso na naman mukha niya.

"You're pissed with me."

"Of course, I am. You never learn, Roy. I'm so tired of it. Of you."

"Kung 'di lang talaga malaki ang utang na loob mo sa 'kin e..."

"What?"

"Di ba litanya mo 'yon 'pag naiinis ka sa 'kin? Hay, naku, Roy, kung di lang talaga malaki ang utang na loob ko sa iyo e... Ano? Iniwan mo na 'ko? E nabayaran mo naman na utang mo sa 'kin a. Tagal-tagal na. Kaya stop pretending, Dado. You've been in love with me all along, kaya nandiyan ka pa rin. Hindi mo lang maamin because you have a wife and four kids."

"Baliw."

Sumigaw ang barista ng "Roy, the Darling of Dado?" Nakakatawa 'yong tono ng barista. Might've thought he read it wrong.

Napailing si Dado, tatawa-tawa na sa wakas. "Oo na, bromance tayo, Fafa Roy. Gwapels mo kasi. Hindi kita kayang iwan."

Hindi ko na kailangang tumayo, dinala rin no'ng babaeng employee na pa-cute kanina sa seat namin 'yong order ko. Kinindatan pa ako ulit at maya-maya napansin kong may number pa siyang iniwan sa isa sa mga napkin. I ignored it throughout my entire stay. Bahala siya kung may ibang makakita niyan.

"Is she always quiet?" tanong ni Dado.

"Who?" Seryoso na naman ng tono niya. Roller coaster talagang kausap.

"Natasha."

"Yes. Not necessarily mahinhin. Medyo may pagka-snob. Pero hindi naman normally ganiyan katindi."

"Baka meron nga. Bayaan mo."

"As in first time nangyari in more than half a year na nakasama ko siya araw-araw."

"Ah, baka naman may boypren na 'yan, 'di mo lang alam, ta's nakipag-break. Kaya ganiyan."

I felt my jaws clench. I couldn't help it most of the times. "That Jake..."

"Hala, may suspect agad? Tatay na tatay a!"

Nakabalik na si Natasha at parang padabog na umupo sa tabi ko. She plopped herself in the chair e.

"Vanilla Frap," sabi ko sa kaniya habang inaabutan siya ng inumin. "Paborito mo, right?"

She took it and mumbled, "Salamat."

"O siya, Roy, promised my wife I'd be quick. Punta kaming Star City today. Mind you, kaming dalawa lang." Tumayo si Dado, nagsuot ng bag. He took his drink and added, "Merry Christmas, Natasha. It was nice to meet you." He stretched a free hand to Natasha and thankfully she shook it.

She smiled in return at least. A bit reserved, but smiled nevertheless.

"Roy," sabay saludo si Dado.

"Will wait for the updates."

"Sure."

And it was just the two of us again – Natasha and I. She drank without a word, looking straight ahead into nowhere; and so did I. Was she mad? I wondered what I had done or said wrong last night. Or was it me she was mad at in the first place? Why was she showering me with silence?