Dear Niall {A Niall Horan Fanfiction}

March 12, 2015

March 12, 2015

Jackie's POV

The guys don't have to do anything today, so Louis and I are going to go get a tattoo. He said he was gonna pay for them because he still has to buy my first tattoo for my birthday present. We're going to Shamrock Tattoo. I'm doing his, and a friend of mine at the shop, Ben, said he would do mine. We walked in and Cassie smiled at me.

"Hey Cassie. I'm here to do my friends tattoo."

"Ok. Oh and Ben said he's not booked today so he's ready when you are."

"Thanks." I showed Louis over to my station. He sat down and I put the stencil on his upper arm. I had everything ready. I pulled on a pair of rubber gloves, then dipped the needle of my machine in the black ink.

"Ready?" He nodded and I started my machine.

-

It didn't take long to do his tattoo. He sat still pretty well. It's not too big. I covered it, then we headed over to Ben's station. I sat down and rolled my sleeves up.

"Are these healed?" Ben asked. I new why. If they weren't healed then the color won't stay, and it won't go in correctly.

"Yea. For about three months." He put on the stencil of the words 'now I'm a warrior' running down the inside of my right arm. Louis raised his eyebrows at me. He saw my scars.

"So why this saying?" Louis asked sitting in a chair next to me. I held his hand, in a friendly way, I didn't know if it would hurt. The needle went into my skin with black ink. It actually doesn't hurt that much.

"Well you know who Demi Lovato is. My favorite song of hers is Warrior. That song is about self harm, and how now she's a warrior. So because of the scars on my arms I want to put 'now I'm a warrior'." He nodded then watched Ben.

"Does it hurt?" He asked as I still held his hand.

"Not really. I just didn't know if it would." Louis squeezed my hand. Comforting me. It's all black, just the words nothing else. I'v had this idea for awhile. I can't believe I'm actually getting it now.

"Is he your boyfriend?" Ben asked dipping the needle into the black again.

"No, he's my boyfriends best friend."

"I'm also her best mate." I smiled at Louis as Ben continued on my arm. Outline done, now just the shading.

-

Louis payed for both of our tattoos. We were walking down the street now. Louis said we might as well get something to eat.

"Thanks for the tattoo Lou."

"No problem. It's a birthday gift anyway." We walked into a restaurant. We sat down and ordered. I now took my sweatshirt off. I'm wearing a batman tee shirt under it.

"Um, Jackie?" Louis asked.

"Yea?" I looked up from my phone.

"If you don't mind my asking. What happened to your arms?" He asked pointing to the inside of my arms. I put my phone away.

"Might as well tell you. I dealt with self harm since I was fourteen. I used to deal with suicidal thoughts all the time. I tried to kill myself twice. Once when I was eighteen, then in the beginning of December. Niall has helped me to stop hurting myself." I'm not going to tell him about the depression and anorexia yet. I pointed to the big scar on my left arm. "This was from the second time. Niall found me in his bathroom." He didn't say anything. He got up, waited for me to too, and gave me a hug. All I could do is hug back. He held me for a few minutes longer. When we pulled apart we sat down.

"I'm so sorry. I I knew I wouldn't have acted that way at Harry's during the Packers game."

"Actually after that happened I found pills in Harry's cabinet. Niall came in and talked me out of it. I thought you hated me." He reached across the table and held both my hands.

"I never hated you. Does anyone else know except for Niall of course?"

"Ya. Harry, and Liam. I told Niall that if any of you guys ask him about it I didn't mind if he told you. Harry noticed at his house for the game, and Liam thought it was Niall doing it to me." He laughed at the last part.

-

Louis brought me home and gave me a hug goodbye.

"I had a lot of fun today. Thanks Lou."

"I had fun too." I walked inside as Louis went back to his car. All Niall knew was I was hanging out with Louis today, he didn't know what we were gonna do. I made sure my sleeves are down. I'm gonna play a little joke on him.

"Hi Niall. By Niall." I started to head upstairs.

"Hey! Where ya goin? You just got in!"

"Bathroom!" I yelled behind me as I ran upstairs. I got in the bathroom and did my business. I stayed in there a few extra minutes. I do actually have a razor that I hid from Niall in here. Not that I ever planned on using it. I took the wrap on my tattoo off. It looks really good. I know it's just words, but it's really clean and it looks nice. I have to remember to thank Ben again. I walked out of the bathroom and headed downstairs. I sat next to Niall not making eye contact with him.

"Babe? Please don't be upset?"

"What happened?"

"I did something."

"Wh-what did you do?" God I hope he doesn't think I cheated on him. I would never do that to him.

"Well I kinda have a razor hid in the bathroom."

"You didn't."

"B-but I did." I lifted my sleeve and showed him my tattoo.

"You made me think you hurt yourself again!" He yelled.

"Yup. But do you like it?" He just looked at the words for a minute.

"It looks really good. Who did it?"

"A buddy of mine at the shop. Louis got one too. Next time we see him ask him to see it." I'll leave it to Lou to tell Niall I did it.

"It looks well done."

"Thanks. I'm quite fond of it." I took my sweatshirt off and snuggled into his side. He took his phone out and looked at it for a few minutes. I could feel him looking down at me, then he stuck his phone in my face. I looked at what's on his phone. It's a picture of Louis and I hugging from earlier.

"According to twitter you dumped me and are now dating Louis. It says here that you two were seen coming out of a tattoo shop then going into a restaurant. The new 'couple' was seen hugging for at least five minutes before sitting down and holding hands across the table." He quoted the article then showed me another picture of Louis and I holding hands across the table. "Care to explain?" Niall asked jokingly.

"Louis asked about the scars on my arms and I told him. That's why he was hugging me for so long. Then I told him about what happened at Harry's upstairs, and I told him I thought he hated me. That's why he was holding my hands." Niall and I chuckled at the stupid article. I love my relationship. We can just laugh off the silly rumors.