Storm Drains (pennywise love fan-fic) *completed*

Chapter 41

"Oh my god" I whispered.

I reached out, touching the familiar material.

A red balloon.

I pulled it towards me, with shaky hands. He had been here. I knew he had. I looked around my room, even though I knew he wouldn't be here. I looked back down at the balloon. I felt tears sting my eyes but I didn't want to let them begin.

I took a bobby pin out of my hair, popping the balloon with no hesitation. I let the red latex fall onto my bed sheets, broken. Broken just like my heart.

I sighed as I fell onto my back, just wanting to sleep and let all of this go for the night. At least just for the night. I felt the walls and silence begin closing on me. That damn silence.

I stood up hastily, making my way to my phone. I put on whatever playlist I could fine, trying to drown myself in the music rather than the eerie silence that held my apartment hostage. That held me hostage.

I connected it to my speaker when I realized it wasn't loud enough. I needed to be surrounded with noise because when I was surrounded with silence, it was just a constant reminder. A reminder of the loving noises, even the angry ones that fulfilled the four walls. I held onto those noises tightly, as if my life depended on it. It was what I needed, to imagine them dancing around the walls, my bedsheets, the curtains. Even with the loud music, the room flickered with bits of silence, because deep down I knew, I knew that this was just a mask. And that silence, that painful silence lingered in the air, beneath the music, beneath the beating of my heart.

I walked back to my bed, knowing I wasn't going to get any sleep now. I sat on the edge, my small feet touching the wooden floor, cold. I was a size 5, so tiny, something I assume penny was fond of. He was so tall, so intimidating, yet my little body was able to find a crevice in his heart, and I napped there, I dreamed there, or at least I hoped I did.

I shuddered when I realized I hadn't turned the heater on prior to going to bed. I sat up quickly, making my way through the apartment as the music played. I would probably hear complaints from my neighbors, but at least their voices were noises too, they weren't silence, and that was better than that.

I pushed the heaters buttons, wanting the rooms to warm up instantly. I looked towards my kitchen.

I guess I can go for a snack I thought to myself as I made my way towards the pantry. I pulled out some cookies, not really hungry but trying to keep myself busy. I opened the trash can lid, trying to throw away the wrapper. I held my breath when I noticed the popcorn box still laying neatly in between the plastic walls. I closed the trash immediately, not wanting to be reminded. I walked away from the kitchen, leaving my snack behind. If I ate anything I knew I'd throw up.

I walked back into my room, sliding into the soft duvet, wanting to get warm. I didn't even bother changing into pjs, I was already uncomfortable deep down inside, comfortable clothing would make no difference. I let my head rest against the headboard, the music continuing to play. Coincidentally I had chosen a sad playlist, but I took in all the lyrics, fighting back tears. Suddenly the song began to play, the song that bounced inside the walls of my head, that night in the bathtub.

I stood up quickly, not wanting to hear it because I knew it would lead to more tears, and even those were almost as bad as the silence. I walked towards my phone, staring down at the screen, lips trembling.

Somebody else- The 1975

My fingers hovered over the skip button, but I couldn't make myself press down. Without thinking, my fingers having a mind of their own, they pressed the replay button. I walked backwards, letting the sad symphony fill my ears. I bumped into my bed, causing me to sit down on it with a thud. I gripped the bed sheets as I looked towards my phone, letting the sad song fill the air.