Chapter 50

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I woke up with the sun kissing my face. I hazily sat up, my eyes stinging due to dried tears from the night before. I hadn't let Penny leave. I begged him to stay with me, just for the night. I was surprised when he laid down, his large arms wrapping around me. It was something I never thought I'd experience with Penny, something so calming and beautiful, almost like a movie.

A movie.

Movies usually had happy endings. There was a thread of a chance I would still get my happy ending. Like those romantic movies. The innocent and gullible girl falls in love with the bad boy. Waiting under midnight skies, looking out the window waiting to hear the soft sound of a rock hitting my window. Afraid of being caught by overly strict parents, not caring about consequences because I'm young, dumb and in love, no worries in the world. We'd be like a music video, singing to beautiful lyrics and looking at each other in slow motion. Our love would melt onto skin as lyrics, montages of beautiful scenery, oceans and fields. We'd be a painting, melting perfectly onto the artists canvas. We'd blend so beautifully it was perfect, almost too perfect. We'd be bright colors on the right and soft colors on the left. We'd be a genius creation. A masterpiece.

That's exactly what we would be.

We would be art.

But we weren't. Not exactly anyways. He was magic that, even I couldn't deny. Not the magic that makes kids laughs at silly birthday parties, or the magic of luck by making it home safely after a very drunk, long and dark walk home from the bar. He was simply magic. Something humans would never be able to comprehend, because even with a piece of him in me, I seemed to not be able to understand him either.

And maybe that was a good thing.

Maybe it was best I didn't understand him. Maybe that's what kept me alive. Us alive. He was art. The type of art that makes you shift your head to the side in a museum in confusion. The kind that gives you a headache after you spend hours trying to dissect it and analyze its true meaning. The kind that after so many days of thinking, you decide to get an exact replica of it in your living room. Because it's mysterious meaning and difficult shapes intrigues you. But one night you will wake up, and you will feel your head open like a flower in spring, and all your colorful thoughts flow out onto your pillows, staining them like your tears did those nights you cried yourself to sleep.

And only then you will understand it's true meaning.

It meant whatever it meant to you.

There was never a true meaning to the beautiful painting that rested neatly over your cracked living room wall. It always meant what you thought it meant all along. And that's what makes art special. The ability to reason with it and shape it into what your emotions feel and what you love or fear the most. That was he.

Penny was art.

Confusing and difficult art.

And that made him beautiful.
Absolutely breathtaking.

I didn't know exactly what I would do the day Penny shut his eyes. I didn't know what I would feel or the level of agony I would be in. I didn't know wether to grieve or learn patience for his soon coming. I didn't know if I would sleep. He'd be resting, asleep in his own world, returning after a long trip and I...I would be restless over a bed. I would have an eternal freezing hold on my heart until the day of his return. I would create life, life for him...and I felt as if I was on top of the world for having the honor to do so. Even if the life inside of me put me in danger, I would cherish it. I would cherish his ever being, because it was the closest I had to him when he would be gone. It wasn't the perfect family like in the movies, it was even better.


"You're awake" I heard his voice speak through an opening in the lair.

"Mhm" I said softly, feeling nauseous the more I spoke. My hand grabbed at my head, it felt like it was about to explode. I slowly stood on my feet, taking a couple slow steps. Penny stood by the entry of the tunnel, the darkness dancing behind him.

"When will this be over?" I asked as I held my stomach. I didn't have to specify what I was talking about because we both knew, by the thickness of the air, exactly what I meant. Penny didn't say anything to me. He just stood in complete silence, almost admiring my posture.

"You're not happy" he said coldly, no emotion in his voice, just negative temperature.

I knew he could smell the all too familiar emotion in the air. Fear. It almost felt as if I could smell it myself. It swept under my hair and grasped at my skin. It was in the air. So deep in the air. And yet he didn't seem alarmed. He didn't seem upset or confused. I knew something wasn't right, but I continued to tell myself it was,  because it was the least I could do. Nobody else was to reassure me, so I had to do it.

"I'm afraid" I said as my hand continued to lay above my stomach. I felt my breathing begin to grow shaky. Penny seemed to have noticed as well because before I could realize what was happening, he had taken long strides towards me. My free hand instinctively reached for his silk suit, the soft and cold material feeling welcoming under my skin. I shuttered at the pleasurable sensation. If I could stay like this forever, I would.

Penny quickly picked me up and I wrapped my legs around him, resting my head on his shoulders. He walked slightly around the lair, almost as if he was dancing to soft music. My body relaxed against his, but my heart was racing for the moment. I wouldn't be surprised if he felt it beating against his skin. I imagined his beating against mine. It was a reminder that he was still alive. That he was still with me. Because maybe tomorrow he wouldn't, because maybe he never would again.

I stored every passing second I spent with him in my heart. It was overflowing but I didn't care. It didn't matter, nothing else mattered. I'd have a long life to worry about silly things like late bills and parking tickets. But now, now all that mattered was him. Us. The life inside of me. That's all that mattered and all I truly wanted. Innocence lost.

Penny continued to walk around, almost trying to rock me to sleep but tired was the last thing I was feeling. I held tightly onto him, afraid of getting lost, even with him in front of me. The silence around us was beautiful, almost like a beautiful performance from the towns theatre. So vintage and pure. Everything about it.

"Penny?" I called out softly.

"Take me away"

"Far away" I whispered against him.

Storm Drains (pennywise love fan-fic) *completed*Where stories live. Discover now