Troyler- A Real Story

Chapter 6. ~Ignored~

Troye's POV

After a long day and night of basically because ignored by everyone and having to watch Tyler and Connor flirt the whole time, I decide I should just go back to bed and sit on Tumblr.

I tell everyone that I'm going but they're all too busy with their own conversations to listen.

What did I do to them? I ask myself while walking to my room. Why are they ignoring me? I go inside and head straight for the bed, sitting down on it and then opening my laptop.

I go onto Tumblr and into my ask box. I read some questions like: "why are you such a fag?" and "You're probably straight and just pretending to be gay to get subscribers!"

What did I do?

I close Tumblr and open Twitter, seeing even more hate comments and tweets, so I go onto Facebook, where, yet again, hate comments and posts appear.

Why do they all hate me? I start to cry, thinking about how Tyler ignored me all throughout dinner. How everyone ignored me- like I wasn't even there.

I read all the hate and know I can't deal with this pain again; I walk over to my bag and grab out my razor, taking out the blade I walk into the bathroom holding it in my hand and then look at myself in the mirror.

"No one likes you anymore, Troye." I say to myself. I pull up my sleeve and look at my faint scars from the other times I've cut.

It'll make things better, I think to myself. I walk backwards a few steps and sit down, leaning against the bath. I hold the blade to my wrist and cut. Once. Twice. Three times; feeling a wave of relief go through my body.

I sigh and watch the blood go down my arm and drip onto the floor.

I'm so sick of feeling like shit all the time. I stand up and walk over to the sink, turning it on and placing my arm under the cold running water, washing away the bright red blood.

After I've washed away the blood, I grab some toilet paper and wrap it around the cuts like a bandage.

Then I grab some more paper and clean the little puddle of blood on the floor.

"Troye? Are you alright?" Tyler knocks on the door.

"Shit!" I accidentally say instead of think.

"What was that? Are you okay?" Tyler shouts from outside the door.

"I'm fine!" I yell back. "Just finished a shower!"

"Oh, that was a pretty quick shower then!" He laughs and I force a laugh back saying that it was. "Okay well, Louis, Marcus, Alfie and Jim are all going to some party, do you wanna go too?"

"No thanks, are you gonna go?" I hope he says yes!

"Nah, I'm tired, I think I'm just going to go to bed now. I'll go down and tell them." I hear the bedroom door open and close and then wait a minute before walking out of the bathroom.

I go over to my bag and fix the razor, then I grab out my first aid kit and take the bandage out; taking off the paper from my cuts is the worst feeling, the blood dried and the paper is struck onto them. I quickly rip off the paper and the cuts start bleeding again; making me tear up at the pain.

I don't try and stop the tears; I just let myself cry. I sit on the floor, crying and forget about the pain I feel on my arm. After a few minutes I hear a beeping of a car horn and remember that Tyler is going to be coming back upstairs soon. I quickly put the bandage on and pull down my sleve, then I pack up the first aid kit and put it back in my suitcase.

"Troyeeee!" Tyler rushes into the room excitedly and then stops when he sees me on the floor. "What's wrong?"

I stare the floor, not wanting him to see my bloodshot eyes. "Nothing."

"Don't give me, 'nothing', you're just sitting there on the floor staring at the fucking ground. Tell me what's up." He walks over and sits next to me.

"It's nothing, really." I say, trying to make myself sound happier.

Tyler doesn't fall for it though, instead, he lifts my chin up and looks at me. "You've been crying, Troye. You know you can tell anything, okay?" He puts his arms around me and hugs me tightly. "Now, are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

I look up him and stare into his blue-green eyes. "Not today." He nods and then hugs me tighter. "I'm tired." I say and we get up.

He leans into and gives me a quick peck on the lips before saying, "I'm gonna have a shower." I nod and we break away.

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Tyler's POV

I wake up with Troye in my arms. I look down and see the lines of dried tears running down his cheeks; evidence that he either cried while I was sleeping or cried during his sleep. I softly kiss his cheek and then slowly break the hug.

As soon as I let go of Troye, he wakes up. "Where are you going?" He asks, pulls my arms back to him. I smile and hug him again.

"Sorry." I say, then I hear a muffled laugh from Troye. He puts one arm around me and the other on my chest near my heart; making me smile.

I wake up again in the same position, but this time Troye's awake.

"Mornin' Ty," he says, smiling at me. I look at him closely and notice more tear lines on his face, and a faint redness in his eyes.

"You've been crying." I say.

He takes a few seconds to realize what I'm talking about. "What? No I haven't!"

I stare at him. This bitch lied to me! "Don't lie to me Troye Sivan."

I see tears start to form in his eyes and remember what he said yesterday about telling me but not then.

"I'm sorry." I kiss him. "You can tell me when you're ready, okay?"

"Okay." He says, nodding. I hug him tighter for a few seconds then let go; I then kiss his forehead.

"I'm going to get ready," I tell him, looking over at the clock on the wall which reads 10:34 a.m.

"Me too."

When Troye and I finish getting ready we head downstairs where almost everybody is gathered around the table, all eating waffles.

"Good morning," They all say- at different times of course.

"Mornin'" Troye says.

"Good morning!" I say, grabbing a plate from Grace. "Thanks."

We eat and discuss which videos we're going to record today. After that, most youtubers leave to go shopping; leaving Connor, Zoe, Tanya, Troye and I at the table.

"We should watch a movie." Zoe suggests, noticing how bored we all look. Everyone agrees and we walk over to the living room.

I stare at Troye, who's just chatting with Tanya and Zoe, then I notice Connor walking over to me.

"Oh hey you!" I say, hugging him.

"Hey." He says, laughing. "How was your night with Troye?" He grins at me.

"Connor!" I say, punching him in the arm, laughing. "It's none of your business anyway." He laughs.

"What ever you say." He replies still grinning. "Troyler's real though, isn't it?" I stare at him and he laughs. "Come on Tyler! I'm joking, I don't care if it is or isn't!"

I punch his arm again. "If it is, I'll tell you, but at the moment it's not."

He laughs again, "Okay."

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