Fifty Shades of Styles (3 book series)

Chapter Twelve

*Harry's POV

The gun fit into my hand like it was meant for this moment.

Am I supposed to pull the trigger? Is this how god made my life? I slowly brought the gun down before bringing it back up.

What other way is there to do this? A life paid with a life? Sounds about right; if not Shawn's then mine. Despite the pain I feel in my heart, she deserves justice. If one cannot receive nor take. One must give. I'm giving my life, I'm doing the right thing.

The cold metal soothes my heated skin. But my heart underneath was the sound of a thousand crashing waves. I'm sorry Olivia, I'm so sorry.

My finger was placed shakily in the trigger, contemplating if it should be both my pain and existence. No one would miss me if I did. If I pulled this trigger, it would affect no one. Yes a few tears here and there. But the world, it would keep turning. People, they would keep moving. No matter how painful. I'm not strong enough for this life. My world stopped turning the minute she was in a casket. My heart stopped beating the second hers did. I stopped moving when she did as well. I have nothing. No one. Everything I cared about is gone. I've never been more alone. And I want nothing more than to simply say "I'm over you I wang nothing to do with you anymore". But I can't because your laying a a casket. I've never been more alone. And my sister always told me "one day you'll meet someone new and the person your stuck on will fade away". But the thing is I don't want her to fade away. I don't want her just to be another girl in my body count. I want her to be the only girl in my heart.

I took a rugged breath, I clenched my eyes. I felt a tear run down my cheek smoothly. My head cleared and my heart blanked. I clocked the gun. Fate was nothing more than a sticky scenario.

I thought over the time I first saw her. Her perfect curves suited by a beautiful shade of grey. I've always loved the color grey. It's mixture of two beautiful things; but on her. It look like a god kissed her and everything she was wearing. She was a phenomenal sight that day. Even at the club. To see her loose, laughing, not a care in the world. But he took that away. He took her away.

I closed my eyes willing to pull the trigger at any given moment.

(HARRYS IMAGINATION)

"Baby" I know that voice. If it were to shout out in the crowds if oblivious yells. I'd know that voice. I love that voice. "Put the gun down" I opened my eyes slowly. I saw her big beautiful smile and it seemed to heat my skin more and more. "Please, put the gun down" she placed her hand on mine which was gripping the gun. "Just put it down" I lowered it and let tears fill my eyes.

"O-oliva" I uttered in disbelief. "Are you really here?"

"No" sadness crowded her face. "I'm not, but you are" she smiling those perfect pearly whites. "You're alive, with blood pumping through your veins. With an echo of a heartbeat in your neck. You're here"

"But I don't wanna be without you. I don't wanna be here if you aren't"

"I'll always be with you little spoon" she giggled placing her forehead on mine. "Because as long as your heart beats. There's a place for me in there. And that's where you'll find me"

"I don't want you to go" sobs escaped my lips leaving me exasperated.

"I don't either, but it wasn't my choice. Sometimes what we want to happen and what happens is out of our control" she looked me in my eyes. "No matter how much we want it" she brought her hand up to my cheek and laid it there.

"I-I can't feel it" i whispered.

"I know" a tear left her eye etching it's way down. "But I can" she took a deep rugged breath and stood quickly and walked off. "I have to go"

I ran after her, "Please don't leave" I cried. "Please stay"

And in the saddest voice she turned to me, wrapped my hands around her not so vivid feeling waist... and said "then make me"

(Back to reality)

I jolted back. The feel of the gun in my hand scared me, forcing me to toss it to the floor. I stood up dusting myself off. I looked over the horizon. The sun made the sky glow. The clouds illuminated with colors like streaks of paint. She was right. She'll always be with me, not matter how much she's actually not. I walked to my bed soberly. I refused that need to have a bottle in my hand, despite the aching pain I felt in my chest. I picked my phone up and started to listen to my voicemails. And there was one from weeks ago. It was her voice.

"Hey harry, I know were not on the best of terms right now. And I'm sorry that our little weekend meant so little to you. But ummm, they need you to come down to the station" she paused and I could practically hear her smiling. "I finally reported Shawn. He's gonna get what he deserves. But they need you as a witness... but yeah, I have to go" then a muffled click and that was it.

My heart jumped to my throat as my phone glitched and opened up my photos. The first one was a picture I took of her. She was lying in the bed looking up at me. Her hair was a messy arrangement of curls. But she had a irreplaceable smile on her face. The one that warms my heart every time I look at her. In the business world I'm cruel, cold-hearted, selfish. But when it came down to her. I was selfish, because I wanted no one else to have her. But each day she melted my cold heart a little more.

I flopped down on the bed and pulled the sheets over me. I rolled over to my dresser and I noticed she left her necklace here from when she left the first time. I put it on and it stopped right in the middle of my swallows. I laid back and let sleep engulf me. Something I hadn't had in weeks.

My heart was breaking and so was I. Because every time I turned; I'd go to grab her. But she wasn't there. My Olivia isn't there. It's killing me. But she'd want me to live. Even if it was with this veritably paralyzing pain. She'd want me to keep being successful, to keep loving, to move on; no matter the cost.

I flipped to my side, grabbing my phone. I noticed I had three missed calls from Sophia and ten from Kate. I listened to the voicemail from Kate.

"Holy freaking shît, Harry. You'll never believe this" and then click. I didn't want to call them back so I simply deleted their numbers and flopped back into the bed.

My life does, is, and always will suck without Olivia.

End of Chapter
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