Fifty Shades of Styles (3 book series)

Chapter Twenty-Nine

[OLIVIA'S POV]

I awoke to the sound of waves. The soft crashing of them soothing me. There was a crippling pain in my stomach and I refused to make it worse. I just laid there. Eyes closed. Thinking.

My whole life I wanted to be a mother. My whole life I thought that when I would have a baby my best friend would be there to love and care for her with me. I was wrong. My best friend took away to one thing that I've ever wanted. My best friend betrayed my hopes and dreams. My best ruined me.

The man I wanted to marry never wants kids. I thought he cheated but he didn't. My own stepsister set him up. My mother was simply Satan. Simply siding with ones who abandoned me.

But my father. He cane back. I have Shannon. Bryce is the same man I knew he was. Shawn has changed. Gemma is like a sister. My brother, Matt, Sophia. With bad comes good. They have become the great and wonderful good.

I'm in pain, I'm hurt—but in the end...I'm happy.

I headed the soft creaking of a chair and my eyes managed to flutter open.

"Hey little bird" Shawn smiled from the chair beside me. "How do you feel?"

"Like shit" I chuckled finishing off with a small cough.

"Yeah, you'll feel like that for awhile" his eyes scanned over my face with a small smirk.

"How are you?"

"I'm fine" he huffed.

"I wasn't the only one who lost something that day. You can't be fine" I scooted over a bit and patted the space beside me. He slid off his shoes and covered himself with fine cover.

"Olivia?" He asked breaking the silence.

"Hmm"

"Why did you forgive me?" He rolled over to his side. "I didn't deserve it little bird" his eyes began to fill. "I didn't deserve it, I don't deserve it. I put you through hell— I hurt you. Why?" A tear fell.

"It wasn't just for you Shawn. It was never—just for you" I put my hand on his cheek and wiped away s tear. "I needed it, Harry needed it, my family needed it. You needed it" I offered a small smile. "We hated you so much for all the things you did to me. And your right you didn't and don't deserve my forgiveness, but I saw your humanity. I saw the one thing we thought you lacked"

"I'm so sorry" he bit his lip.

"That day... Kate took everything from us. She took your brother, she took the hopes of a family from me. That day you lost a brother, I lost a child. You could've turned off your humanity completely, but that day you changed. That day I saw the side of you that I doubted was even there" I paused taking his hand. "You brought me here to my family despite your pain--There will never be a way I can repay you"

"I want you to go away with me" there was a glimpse of hope in his eyes as his mouth clearly got ahead of his mind. "I meant to like train, ya know. To keep yourself like prepared"

"Shawn, I love Harry. Surprisingly that hasn't changed. But people are changing. Becoming the people I used to love and I don't know what to do. I'e never been in a more confusing and painful situation before and i don't wanna hurt anyone. I don't wanna lose anyone that i care about. I'm not read y for that again"

"I understand. But Olivia" He paused taking a deep breath. "I scared you. There isn't a temporary mark on your heart, this won't go away. It may head but there will always be a scar of that memory. And one day I don't want you to look at me and break the stitches sown into that memory. I don't want all the bad to flow in and replace the good and heaven knows there's so much bad" he was gripping my hand seriously now. "I wanna start making good memories before the bad outweighs the good. And I know that you say you forgive me but I can still see it"

"See what?" I asked with furrowed eyebrows.

He gripped the cover and rolled it past me. "All of the heartbreak I've caused you. No matter what you say, no matter what you do, it will always be there and that right there is proof. It's proof that you'll never truly forgive me for what I did and I don't expect you to. I drugged you, assaulted you, hurt you, kidnapped you, broke into your house, I've watched you, I've done so many things that are past unforgivable. And that's all the proof I need Olivia" He looked down at his hands with disgust. "I've caused such harm to a body that should only be loved"

"Shawn" I took his hands. I noticed how shaky mine were and there was sense of nervousness rising in me. "Yes, you put me through hell. Yes, you broke my spirit when it was already broken. Yes, you put me through unimaginable pain. But in the end" I paused gripping his hands tighter. "You saved my life when you could've left me for dead. And yes I know saving my life is no excuse for nearly taking it in the first place. But Shawn I can change you, we all can change you. We can give you the family that was taken away from you. We can be there for you"

I will admit. I don't forgive Shawn for what he did to me, at least not completely. He took away a part of me that was strictly hope and good things. But if I can save him from himself, I will in a heartbeat. He deserves happiness just like the rest of us. The pain he caused me left a scar, that scar will always be there. But I've seen the things that has happened to him. His best friend, his brother was shot in front of his eyes. His own sister betrayed him. His parents were killed in front of him. That amount of trauma at a young age will and did push him over the edge. He couldn't take it. He snapped. He's broken. But I know we can fix him. We can heal him the same way they did me. With happiness.

"I'll train with you, but on my terms Shawn. We stay in town" I counted as I listed things off. He agreed with a small smile.

"We'll start when your healed. By the looks of it, that shouldn't be long" He got off the bed and started to walk out. He stopped in the door way before looking back at me. He huffed a bit and rolled his eyes. I furrowed my brow with a confused smile. Seconds later he was walking towards me with that same hope I saw earlier. His hands held my face lightly as his lips feathered against mine softly. My body melted for a moment before jolting to reality.

"Shawn, I-I-I can't" He smiled and looked down at his lap.

"I had to do that, I'm sorry" He stood up again and finally left. My heart was pounding and the throbbing noise seemed to be the only thing I heard. But the noise seemed to be saying something. It was incoherent but strong. I don't know what to do.