Fifty Shades of Styles (3 book series)

B2: Chapter Nine

"Mommy what is Love?"

I sighed completely astonished that my six year old was asking me the question I didn't learn till I was twenty-three.

"Mommy?"

"I heard you, mi florita. I'm thinking" the answer wasn't simple.

The answer was obvious but how do you describe or feeling of intense bliss and pain. How do you tell a six year old that love is wanted to sacrifice you're entire life for something so simple, like another persons happiness. How do I tell her that the love I feel for her is one hundred percent different than the love I feel for her father.

"Do you remember the time Wes got stuck in that hole outside and it was raining?" She nodded quickly before looking up at me. "Do you remember how scared you felt?"

"I thought he was going to drown" she whispered sadly.

"That pain, that is apart of love. The fear of losing someone who holds so much value, so much importance"

"So love is fear?"

"Love is...many things. Love is fear, love is hope, love is happiness, love is broad and welcoming. But it is also different. Love can be dangerous. There are, I guess you could say two different types" her brow furrowed as she sat up confusedly. "There is a different kind of love I feel for you than I feel for daddy. Granted, I'd lay my life down for the both of you in a heartbeat. But daddy is my soulmate, you are a piece of my soul and a piece of his, broken off to form a completely unique child. I'm in love with him, I love you"

"So what's a soulmate?" Wes perked up. Suddenly I noticed that I had everyone's attention. They're eyes were glued on me curious about my answers.

"A soulmate is a person you are destined to be with, a person that you are so desperately in love with" I sighed looking at Harry. "A soulmate is a person who can make you feel nearly anything. They don't have to do much but they have so much control over you; your happiness, your faith, your togetherness. When you meet your soulmate suddenly you're no longer the person behind the wheel of you're emotions" I laughed. "A soulmate is a person you never want to let go of—no matter how much they piss you off, or hurt you, or tear your heart apart. You'd willingly pick up the shattered shards of your heart, glue them back together, and give it to them all over again, because at the end of the day you know, you couldn't live without them"

"You said love can be dangerous" Harry interjected turning his body to face my completely. "How so?"

"Love will make you do things you never imagining yourself doing. Love can drive a person mad. Love will have you lay your life down for something as simple as another persons happiness. Love will make you shatter yourself to see another person smile. Love will force you into packing your things up and leaving because you know that if you don't, they will suffer a consequence far greater than imagined. Love will make leaving not even a trace of your existence to protect someone, seem like your only choice" I met Harry's eyes again. "Love has the power to kill and the potential to destroy. And that power is far greater than anything I have ever known"

"Can I have a soulmate?" Nat looked at me with bright and longing eyes and I gave her the answer she was looking for. "How will I know?"

"Someday, when your heart decides that it's found the person, you will know. It'll just click—as if a piece of your puzzle completed the whole ensemble. And you'll fall in love many times, you have a ways to go so I know you will, but you only have one soulmate. You will find them eventually or they will find you. But regardless, it is written in the stars. Whomever it is, you are destined to meet"

"Daddy, when did you know Mommy was your soulmate?"

My eyes lifted to see him already gazing at me intently. I cocked my head waiting for his answer, mentally thanking the heavens that the attention was no longer on me.

"When I saw her in my office that day, I observed her. It was only for a couple of seconds but I watched her brush her fingers across the details paying the attention that no one ever bothered to. I knew the moment I spoke and her soft brown eyes met mine. I knew that this woman, you're mother, my wife—I knew she would be the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I knew she was my soulmate from the moment I met her. And for the world, I still wouldn't change it" I smiled reminiscing on the day Harry changed my entire life.

"You've made me into a better person, Liv. You've changed me from the cold-hearted hurt man that I used to be to someone I barely recognize, but I love this person. Because I'm only this person when I'm with you three. I would never, ever long to be anyone else"

I tried to blink back the tears that brimmed my eyes. But soon one slipped and dripped down onto Nat's shoulder.

"Mommy, why are you crying?" Her small hand came up to my cheek. She preformed the same soft gestures Harry did whenever he came to know I was crying.

My eyes stayed trainee in Harry as me gave me a sweet smile. "I love you" he mouthed only making the tears follow each other after another dropped.

"I love you more"

Soon the kids were up running around with others, while more took strolls down the shore. But I stayed put, wedging myself between Harry's arms, basking in the heat, the suns light, and embracing our deep love.

"You smell... amazing" I breathed him in.

"You are amazing" he whispered at the tip of my ear. His warm breathe sent shivers throughout my entire body. "If I could go back, I'd do this all again"

My hand snaked it's way up his arm and shoulders to his neck. I ran my fingers through his hair gingerly playing with the small curls that rested at the naps of his neck.

"I've missed you"

"And I've missed you" he kissed my ear and my neck.

All the affection, the love, and kisses I had received quickly washed away all the grief of what was soon to happen. I tried to ease my heart as I noticed the lock of curled hair on my lap. Inevitable, this will crush his heart and destroy his soul. And I will have done that to him.

He stood up dusting himself off and grabbed my hand pulling me up with him. I leaned my head against his shoulder falling even further in love with the way he looked in the golden sun. He closed his eyes taking in its warmth and I couldn't help but brush his hair out of his face and admire his side profile.

His face shone in the beautiful light; illuminating his hair, kissing his skin, highlighting his features. He looked so strong and beautiful. Like he did when we first met. He seemed so much stronger than me, scratch that, he is so much stronger than me. His love for me never once wavered. I see that now. I'll miss him when I'm gone. I'll miss him so much.