▍Starlight | j.jk ✔

008

typed this on my phone so I apologize in advance if there are extra spelling mistakes

Im going to go back through and see who guessed who Jungkook's friend is first. Because someone got it yesterday. And ill give you a shoutout at the end of the chapter when the name is revealed.

(There is a big clue everyone missed tho. Btw if you find it don't spoil it lmfao)

{Y/N's POV}

"He's just going through something. Jungkook just needs a little hope. But don't worry, he's strong."

The words flow through my mind as I walk further from where I saw Jungkook and met that boy.
Why are they both so damn strange? Why wouldn't he tell me his name?
Something inside me keeps wanting to turn back. But I have to keep reminding myself that his problems aren't any of my business.
I barely know him.

He won't care about my opinion. He doesn't want to hear what I have to say.
And that's understandable.

I continue to walk, my footsteps echoing through the wide school hallways. Light from outside shines in from the door at the end of the hall making the floor beneath me shine.

I mentally argue with myself over the subject. My mind in heart get into it a lot. They never seem to agree on things.
But when it comes time for me to make the final decision I suppose I always favor my mind.
My heart has steered me wrong before...
I just don't trust it anymore.

I remember the look in his eyes when he walked back into the school. Or at least the slight glimpse of it I could see before he ducked around the corner. It was a look I know oh to well.

Hopelessness

"Dammit!" I say to myself before turning on my heel down the hall in the other direction.
I know I'm a complete idiot for doing this but at this point who cares?

Fuck it.

I don't do stuff like this, and in this moment I begin to question my own sanity. But in reality, how sane was I, to begin with?

My father always said I was born with a couple screws loose. And I told him that it was because he was my father. We both laughed and he continued on to say

"Anyone who presents themselves as perfect and all there is hiding something. You don't have to come out and tell everyone about your problems. But don't lie to the ones who care."

I didn't make a promise to him that day. But I still wish I would have been able to make him proud in that way. But over time I have become very good at hiding my feelings, even from the ones who care.

Mostly from the ones who care. In some ways, I feel like they would judge me more. I don't want to let the people closest to me down.

Although at this very moment I don't have to worry about such things. I have no one left to disappoint.

Except myself I suppose, but I dont expect much from myself.

An idea springs to mind, one that will physically pain me to follow through with. I've spent all of today criticizing these notes. But maybe I can make mine into something I'm a little bit proud of.