▍Starlight | j.jk ✔

046

First, thank you guys for 8K followers. Oh and for 7K. I wanted to post a chapter when i hit 7K but ive been a bit busy lately. School is almost over and its still kicking my ass.

Hahaha i also want to thank you guys for 300K on FUCKBOY! Your all amazing. Im so surprised that everything is growing so quickly. All of this in 3 months. Thank you all so much.

{Y/N's POV}

There is a feeling of overwhelming numbness taking over my body as i lay here with no reason for doing so. I do it because i can, i suppose. Great life motto to live by. Great way to get arrested..
I wish i could understand myself better, and know why i did the things i do. Sometimes my actions ever seem completely random and utterly ridiculous even to me. I don't know what more there is for me to do in this moment. I know that maybe if i think really hard on it i will find something much more productive i could be spending my time on.

But that is exactly why im going to forget that thought all together.
I don't want to think up something better i can do.
Because i know even if i thin of it i will not go out and do it.

Although knowing there are many things more productive than what i'm doing right now still makes me feel a bit guilty. I suppose at the end of the day the specifics of the matter don't really... matter.
When i got back home the other night after dropping Jungkook off Julie didn't say one word to me, which i would usually not care about. Of course i would notice because i seem to notice most things. But i wouldn't have cared. But the silence between us the other night seemed different. It was the same contempt we both hold for each other keeping our mouths clamped shut. It was something else.
I guess she has found yet another reason to not speak to me. You would think that wouldn't matter to me because at least at the end of the day she isn't bothering me. But it's bothering me not knowing what i've done.
What did i do to make her shut down even more? We barely talk.. What could i have done?
Something clicks in my head as the answer to my recent question comes to me.
It's nothing i've done.. Well at least not directly.
The alarm beside my bed begins to blare. I wonder why i didn't shut it off earlier. I've been up for a good hour and a half already. It must have slipped my mind. I flip up from my bed, pulling my feet over the edge. My bare feet touch the cold hardwood flooring as i press them down onto it. Sending little shocks up my body.
I pull myself up off of the bed and begin to get ready.
I'm not feeling very well today.. i'm not sick just not at a good place mentally. But i would rather go to school then sit here and do nothing. Despite my extreme hatred for school i know nothing will get better if i sit here in my own thoughts. That's how you make things worse.

I pull leggings up over my legs and a hoodie over my head. Not really feeling like putting much effort into how I look today.
Sometimes I just slip into moods like this with no warning or trigger. This isn't one of those times, I know why I'm stressed.
But other time I can be happy one moment and done with everything the next.
I sigh looking at myself in the mirror not feeling extremely great about myself in this moment.
But I'm to lazy to do anything about it.

I rush through the house, scooping up my bag and phone not wanting to have to deal with anyone this morning. Although I doubt I would have too seeing as the current circumstances are as they are.
But better safe than sorry.
Outside the world around me is covered in mist from the light rain we had late last night. I wasn't feeling up to going out but i stayed by the window and listened to it.
It brought a level of calmness to my very being that I was reaching out for so desperately.
It didn't last long but at least for that moment I had some relief.

I close the front door behind me looking around for Taehyung. He was supposed to be driving me today.
He isn't usually late.
I look down at the time on my phone, in the process seeing I have a couple missed calls. But none from him.
I sigh looking back up to the driveway and then over to the road. Hoping to see his car making its way here.
But alas I see nothing.
Where is he?
A latching sound fills my ears causing me to look up. My eyes meeting with Jungkooks as he makes his way from his own house, smiling at me with a cocky disposition.
I roll my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest.
"Sorry Princess, Prince Charming can't make it. Guess your gonna have to settle for me." He calls over with a smile.

I chuckle a bit. "If I'm the princess and Tae is the Prince... what does that make you?" I ask him while making my way over to his car.
He begins to think..
"The court Jester?" He asks with a laugh. I laugh along with him when I hear his reply. I suppose in a way it's fitting.
But I think there is a lot more to him than he gives himself credit for.
Or maybe he just doesn't see it...
Maybe he doesn't want to.

Once again I'm sorry updates have been pretty messed up lately.
Also this chapter is typed weird cause I did it on my phone.

BTS COMEBACK IS COMING!! IM STAYING UP ALL NIGHT LMFAO
Half to catch up on work and half for my babies.
I'm so excited.
Love u guys~ Livvy