▍Starlight | j.jk ✔

031

(I will add the picture later)

{Y/N's POV}

My body sways forwards and backward lightly as the wind passes me by. Blowing past my body as it keeps its pace. My body not slowing it one bit. I look over to Jungkook who reaches into his jacket to pull out a pack of cigarettes and i lighter.

I grasp onto the cold chains of the swing i sit upon. This little pit stop we took during our walk bringing me back to my childhood. Not to this playground specifically, because i didn't spend any time here when i was a child.

But its been so long since ive been on a swing.

This playground stands pretty empty. No kids in sight.

I wonder how much longer this area will be home to the children play equipment seeing as there are no children here playing on it.

He holds the box out to me, popping the top open offering me one.

Its been a while since ive done anything like that. But i reach inside and take one out anyway. I reach up and place it between my lips, holding it there.

"You smoke?" He asks curiously. And my only reply is the shrug of my shoulders.

Its been a while, but im sure i will still be capable of doing such a thing. Smoking cigarettes within itself never bothered me. Sure it made your clothes smell a bit along with some other slightly bothersome side effects. But it wasn't the worst of what i used to do.

My shoes glide against the dirt and grass below me as the swing begins to slow up seeing as i am no longer kicking my legs. Jungkook reaches out with the lighter and lights the cigarette between my lips, before doing the same with his own.

Things like this bring me back. Sometimes it is worrisome to flash back to the person i used to be. But at least it helps me to see how i have grown.

I remember the first time i had a cigarette. I thought it was such a cool thing. That it made me seem grown. I was neither. There isnt much special about smoking. In ways, it did give me something to concentrate on, put my mind at ease. It could calm me. But other than that i see no other benefits.

But alas, i was young. Feeling it between my fingers gave me power. It made me feel different. And growing up all i wanted was to be a different person. I had a persona when i went out and began acting rebellious.

And then after time that persona became who i really was. I was no longer acting to be that person, i was that person.

And i was that person for a long time.

I take the cigarette between my fingers, pulling it out of my mouth so i can puff out smoke. The taste in my mouth so familiar. I press my tongue to the roof of my mouth, making a light clicking sound.

"Feeling any better?" I ask, without looking over at him. I let my eyes rest on my feet, watching them sway back and forth as i try to pick up pace on the swing. Jungkooks legs are longer than mine, and where mine glide over the ground, only slightly scraping it. His feet lay planted on top of the grass.

"You act as if i was so broken up about it. Im fine Y/N." He assures.And when he says it then it doesn't sound like a lie. So i accept it. Placing the cigarette back into my mouth.

Silence intercepts our conversation as everything turns quiet. Except for the light squeaking of the swing set we sit upon. The smell of smoke filling my nose as both of us continue to puff it out.

I begin to think more about Jungkook. So many questions filling my mind. There is so much i don't know about him, and i have so much i want to ask.

But as a new person in his life, it may seem extremely rude. I know i wouldn't like someone just popping up wanting to know everything about me.

"So how has it been being back?" he asks. I would wonder how he now knows i was here before. But i suppose at some point everyone would figure it out. Its not like i was keeping it a secret. I just didn't feel the need to broadcast it.

I sigh. "Its been chaotic. You and Taehyung didn't make things any easier by the way."

He laughs a bit, letting out a cough or two afterward. The smoke must have messed him up a bit. "Im sorry about that. And im sure Taehyung feels the same. Me and him had no intention of messing up your life."

I chuckle a bit, reaching out to hit his arm lightly. The cigarette held up between my lips. I reach back after hitting him, pulling it from my mouth so i can speak.

"You didn't mess up my life. I haven't known you long enough for that." I joke. He laughs a bit and i continue.  "Even though you two confuse the hell out of me. Its still be nice getting to know you. If you haven't noticed already i don't have many friends around here. So thank you for being nice to me.... or at least kind of nice to me."

He laughs, nodding his head. "Im sorry if i have ever come off rude. You don't deserve that. And im sorry about your shoes too. If you're really upset about it then i will buy you new ones."

In this moment i begin to see a glimpse of the person behind the walls he puts up.

"Thank you for that, and yes. You are buying me new shoes."

I look around trying to see where we are exactly. And it will be a while until we finally reach home. I asked Jungkook earlier why he didn't go and call Taehyung to pick him up earlier so he didn't have to walk. But he said Taehyung was probably busy with his own stuff.

Its nice to see that it seems Jungkook does really care about Taehyung and his life. At first it seemed like he walked all over him. And now, their relationship still presents itself as questionable. As if Taehyung is always looking out for Jungkook... kind of like a parent.

"How long have you two been friends?" I ask him.

I lean down and press whats left of the cigarette to the dirt giving it a slight twist before testing my arm, tossing it over into the trash can. I feel very proud of myself when it lands directly inside.

"We talked for the first time about a month or two after i got here. We have been friends ever since." His voice trails off in a way that tells me he isn't finished yet. "He has always been there for me. He does so much for me but never feels like its enough."

"And why is that?"
A sigh escapes his lips. "Because i keep failing."

So he is kind of like a parent or an older guardian. Taehyung feels responsible for him. When Jungkook fails, he feels as if he has failed as well.

I don't know if it is healthy to think and continue on like that.

"Don't feel to bad Jungkook. You can't help that he feels this obligated to watch over you. Taehyung has a good heart."

I hear him scoff at my statement a bit.

"What?" I ask looking to him confused. But he blows me off saying it was nothing.

"We should get going."

Ive got to get some school work done guys. This is probobly my last update for the day. Love you all so much ~ Livvy