▍Starlight | j.jk ✔

030

The beginning of this book started really well. And lately, i feel like it has been lacking. So i am going to work very hard on getting this book back on track.

{Taehyung's POV}

I don't have any more tears left to cry for myself. I get this overwhelming feeling of sadness, and then i begin the self-pity. And thats when i have to cut things off. Im not going to sit around feeling bad for myself, it doesn't help anything.

Light shines in through the blinds in the kitchen. glowing down onto the floor with shadowy exposure. The blinds cutting out some of the bright glimmering light. One line of sunlight, and then a shadow. The blinds locking out every other line of sunshine. I reach down and press my fingertips to the floor, letting it glide across the hardwood flooring.

Touching the sunlight.

When my finger reaches it, the sun is replaced on my hand. Glowing over my fingers.

It warms them a bit, its a soothing feeling. Beginning to calm me down just a bit.Its hard to wrap my head around everything that has been going on. Things in my life get pushed to the back as i try my best to take care of the people around me.

I have to watch over Jungkook. And make sure my mom is okay.

I have the people around me to worry about.

At some point in my life they became more than my own problems. I don't think about myself as much now, which in ways helps i guess. I just have to make sure they are okay.

My mom just got a new job, she is doing really well. Im so proud of her.

And Jungkook... he has a long way to go. But i have faith in him.

I wonder what kind of person he would be if he grew up in a different family. If he had people there for him earlier on.

I got to him to late, and by that time he didn't trust people. He had no experience with true friendship. He didn't understand how someone could care for him to that extent.

I think sometimes now he still has trouble with it, but now he cares for me like i care for him. So it may make it easier to understand and grasp that type of love.

My mother loves him, and i know he cares about her. But its hard for him to get close to her. Jungkook is very off with my mother, despite liking her as a person. Parental figures make him shut down. No matter if that parental figure is good or not.

All he knows is what he was raised with.

And stuff like that is hard to fix within a person.

All they showed him is all he is now. But he has so much potential to be so much more than that. He can't express things that were never expressed to him. So i try my best to show him a lot of the things he missed out on.

But im only a friend. There is only so much i am capable of showing him.

I can explain to him what a good parent looks like. But he already knows that. I can never show him what it is like to have a good parent because he doesn't have that.