TWENTY-TWO

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Connor

Y/N stared longingly out the door to the spot at the side of the school. As I approached her, she turned to me, looking uneasy. "Hey," she gulped.

"For someone who hates school, you don't seem too excited to be getting out for winter break." I said, " So what's up?"

"The sky." Y/N joked as we began to enter the cafeteria.

"I'm serious." I raised an eyebrow.

Through the loud noise, I could hear her sigh when we got to a table. She was acting like this a couple days ago, I thought.

She opened her mouth to speak, but that was when Jared joined us. He proudly set down his lunch like it was his prized possession. "So you guys decided to finally give in to this amazing room, huh?" He had a smug look on his face.

"This is the last day, Jared," I replied, although I wasn't sure. Seconds later, my sister joined us, along with Alana.

"You forgot your lunch." Zoe said as she dropped a brown paper bag in front of me.

"Thanks, now fuck off."

"No."

I gripped the bag, "Shouldn't you be with your stupid jazz band friends?"

"They're on the fucking field trip. I would be with them, but Mom and Dad didn't sign my permission slip because they were too busy packing for the skiing trip." Zoe explained. And she asks why I hate skiing.

We all gave each other awkward looks. I cleared my throat, "Sucks to be you then." My sister just scoffed and took an angry bite out of her sandwich. I dug into my own lunch and pulled out a bag of chips. I held it in front of Y/N.

"Hey Y/N,"

"Hm?"

"Are you having flashbacks yet?"

"Oh god, don't remind me." She dramatically replied, resting her chin on her hand. Jared and Alana gave up on their conversation and glanced at us, confused.

"Holy shit," Jared commented.

Alana glanced at Y/N, and then back to me. "Are you guys.."

"You guys are pulling each other's hair, aren't you?" Jared pointed his finger at me and Y/N.

"Eat a fucking bath bomb, Kleinman." Y/N growled, ignoring Alana.

"I will!"

I suddenly stood up and gathered I gathered my things. "Well, I think the spot's open now, let's go Y/N," She didn't hesitate to stand up as well and storm out the cafeteria door with me.

We made a beeline for the door to the side of the school and pushed it open. Fresh winter air immediately stung our faces. I comfortably sat down on the frost covered grass and gravel and leaned back.

"We're not supposed to be here, are we?" Y/N asked as she tightly crossed her arms and sat next to me.

"I don't think so, but I'd rather get in trouble than hang with Jared." I sighed.

"Uh, Con?"

"Yea?"

"Can I tell you something?"

"You've been on edge all day, so yea." I said, tilting my head towards her.

Y/N let out an airy sigh and ran her fingers through her hair. "Throughout the week, my dad's had angry phone calls with work, and I thought it was nothing because it's kinda normal, right?"

I nodded.

"And then yesterday, after you left, he told me what was up," she breathed.

"Well, what was up?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows, "Nothing bad, right?"

Y/N began to fiddle anxiously with her sleeve, "He said if things don't really go well, we might move. Like, away from here." Her voice was dry and she kept her eyes down after speaking.

"You're.. you're gonna what?!" I asked, not believing a word she just said. It was like I couldn't hear it but it was loud and clear.

"I said we might move." She quickly explained, "But I don't know what the fuck is gonna happen."

Everything seemed to stop right as she said that. It was like we were the only ones in that moment. The air felt like it got colder. It's like nothing was happening, yet so many things were. My heart was beating against my chest, but not from excitement.

"You- you might be moving?" I repeated.

"I don't want this to happen." Y/N shook her head and dropped her hands on her lap defeatedly.

"And if it does happen, you're gonna go to a great school, make amazing friends, and you'll probably forget all about this!" A lump caught in my throat and I wiped away a tear on my face that I didn't know was falling.

"Connor, if I do move that will not happen."

"Well, what if you do? What if you get asked out? Shit, you're gonna have to explain to them that you're... YOUR BOYFRIEND'S A GODDAMN FREAK!" I yelled, struggling to get the words out. To my surprise, Y/N didn't look too taken aback. Realizing my tone, I tried to calm down. I guess I could be screaming and she would just sit there and listen.

"You think this is easy?!" Her voice wasn't as raised. I could feel my chest tightening again as I hung my head down.

To be honest, I'd rather go skiing with the Harrises every month than to worry about this. I'm not even the one who might move.

"You're not a freak." She assured me. Y/N's hand moved from her lap and rested over mine which was shaking.

"You keep saying that." I shook my head.

"You're not!"

"I'm a fucking monster, Y/N." I croaked out. She scooted over closer to me.

"Not all monsters are bad." She shrugged as she leaned her head on my shoulder, her hand still on mine. "And there's no way I'm gonna forget about you if I move. You're my best friend. You're my boyfriend and I love you."

She doesn't even need to try to make my knees weak.

"Can we just fucking run away?" I asked, intertwining my fingers with
Y/N's.

"We're not James and Alyssa, Connor." Y/N chuckled, "I wish it was that easy, though."

I tried to smile back at her, but I didn't say anything. I couldn't say anything. All we could do was just sit there and be the broken teenagers we were at the side of the school.



A/N: did yall catch that the end of the f***ing world reference lol.
not much happened but at the same time a lot of things happened?? idek.
ALSO, i still can't get over the fact i'm writing this winter part of the story dURING THE SUMMER (well i mean it's summer here at least lol)

hope you enjoyed :-)

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