WGM Again?! (Taeun Fan-Fic)

Chapter 48: meant to be

Taemin's P.O.V

"Oppa, let's break up," she smiled at me while I stared at her with an incredulous look.

"You want... to break up?" I tried to swallow the lump in my throat but had to discover that my throat was completely dry barely releasing the words.

She nodded eagerly, "I have realized that I can't depend on for example Hayoung-ah but mostly you all the time to solve my problems for me and make me face them.

I want to find myself. I will tend to myself first. I have to do this by myself. It's just not possible if you're there every time to build me up again and talk and help me through everything. I want to show myself to you fully.
I won't ask you to wait but if you still like me when I'm confident, I'd like to go out again."

"But we've always done it like that. I want to help you.want I want to be there and build you up. Do you know how I feel when you won't let me help you when it matters the most?" I asked her.

"You don't understand. I don't want to be helped! I want to do this alone! Can't you understand that?" she was getting agitated because I spoke back even though she had neatly explained everything.

"I just want to help you...," I tried again but was cut off.

"I don't want your help right now!" she retorted sharply.
I felt hurt and anger building up inside of me and let my emotions take over.

"Fine if you don't eant my help!" I shouted and drowned in my emotions. "Break up with me! Do whatever you want! That's what you will anyway!"

And with that I stormed out of the apartment.

By the time I had finally grasped the situation I had caused myself it was late and dark and I remembered that I was supposed to drown myself in work tomorrow after getting a little support from my girlfriend. Now I had neither support nor a girlfriend.

I thought about who to call to talk about my problem. Was it a problem? It was Naeun-ah's decision. It was her wish and her resolution. Who was I to destroy that resolution. I sighed and found myself driving back to my workplace. I went around aimlessly and stopped the elevator at four different flours before I decided on a destination and got out of the elevator.

I had assumed right. He was still here and he was still working. Without knocking I opened the door to Jonghyun-hyung's studio.

"Hyung!" I pulled him out of his thoughts. He looked up and smiled upon seeing me.
"Woori baby Taeminie," he beamed a goofy smile and motioned for me to sit down. "What brings you to me at this late hour?"

I sighed loudly.

"Tell me. What's bothering you?" he asked concerned.
"Well, I'm exhausted from work but I have to get back again tomorrow. I haven't been able to write the lyrics for the title track for weeks and I have no idea what to do and now my girlfriend broke up with me for a kind of valid reason but I'm just confused and don't want to let her go but I don't know what to do because.... I still don't understand anything and my head hurts and I just want to lie down and sleep but at the same time I want to finish work and get back together with my girlfriend instead of not doing anything and, and I, I, I, I...," I blurted out everything but stopprd when I wasn't sure how to continue.

Jonghyun-hyung let out an airy laugh similar to the one he used on TV, "So what did you come to me for? Your relationship problem? Your writers' block? Or to get your mind off work?"

"Everything I guess. I just wanted to be less confused."
"You're frustrated about work and confused about your relationship," he thought aloud. "Then let's start with your relationship. What do you want to tell me?"
I decided not to withhold anything and just relayed our whole conversation to Jonghyun-hyung. I managed to clear my head and uderstand what was happening a little better but I was still agitated by everything and stumbled over my words the whole time.

Jonghyun-hyung just sat and listened. After I had nothing else to say he leaned back in his seat and folded his hands together in a sophisticated way.

"Okay, so you guys fought and broke up because Naeun-shi wants to break up and you want to stay together. And you most of all need time to think and understand as well."

I nodded and agreed to his words after I had thought them through and deemed them correct.

"Want to hear what I think, Taemin-ah?"
That was so like him. Even though I came to him for advice, he still asked first because he knew that whatever he would say might have a huge impact on my decisions.
I nodded.

"Well, Taeminie, if she wants to break up, then there's nothing you can do. You might get together after everything but if not, then that's how it should be. Then she just wasn't yours to begin with and you just weren't meant to be hers. In that case it's better to keep the good memories and not add hateful thoughts so you can part in peace."

"But we already parted badly."
"Can't you sound a little more sensitive when we're talking about your own love life?" Jonghyun-hyung pinched my cheeks and rolled his eyes.

I had to laugh a little at the gesture.
"But hyung?" I asked hestitantly.
He hummed in response.
"I really have to let her go?"
He sighed and patted my shoulder comfortingly, "It seems like it at least for now."

He looked for paper and pen and laid them down in front of me, "Try to do something else for now. You were supposed to write some lyrics, right? You're very emotional and melancholic right now. That's the best time to produce good music."

He smiled at me encouragingly. At least one of my problems would be solved. I grabbed the pen and pondered the words he had given me as well as my feelings for Naeun-ah and why she wanted to break it off and why I didn't want her to.