My Hope (Jung Hoseok x Reader) COMPLETED ✔️

Chapter 37

Hoseok is basically tearing his hair out of his head. He has been with Officer Hayoon for the past couple of days, he couldn't understand it. You just vanished! No words, no tracks, it was like you were off the grid.

But everyone knows who has you, Namjoon and Zico had been reported busting out of jail. It seems they have connections, everywhere. And no one is trying to admit to where they were, they were even given the option of getting less time in their sentence for 'good behavior', nothing.

Hoseok resorts to biting his nails as he walks around. He should've been with you, he shouldn't have left your side. Because of his failure to protect you,

They have you now.

"Hoseok, take a deep breath," Hayoon says as the tall male constantly paces, "We're going to find her."

"We better, we need to find her. Right now." Hoseok takes in quick, sharp breaths, "I should've been there, I should've been with her! I never should have went out with my parents, I should've waited until those two pricks were sent to jail!"

"Hoseok, there's nothing we can do about the past. The only thing we can do right now is keep our heads and continue to look for Y/N."

Hoseok's face falls into the most deadly and serious it's ever been in years, his eyes turn a darker shade and he points a finger at the officer. He takes in panting breaths as his face begins to turn red.

"I want those bastards behind bars as SOON as we get Y/N back! I want them heavily guarded, I want their asses to pay for this!"

"Pay they will, we just have to find them first. Calm down." Hayoon says in a tone as soft as possible, "We can't find her if we can't think straight."

Hoseok releases a shaky breath as tears streak down his cheeks, he was abusing himself, harder than anyone would ever know. He let you slip right  through his fingers, you were safe, you were right there beside him. How could he just let you get taken away?

"Listen, Hoseok. You need to go home, get some food, get some rest, and you need to destress. This isn't good for your health, and you need to stop coming by my office every evening, I'll contact your parents if we ever get a lead." Hayoon softly pushed Hoseok towards the door, "We'll find her, Hoseok, we'll find her."

Hoseok walks out the police station like a zombie, he didn't know how to feel except lost. He kept his head down and dragged his feet against the pavement as he walks back home. His severe depression begins to settle in, he hasn't felt like this since you were in his life the way you should've been. When he had you by his side he didn't have to take his medicine, he didn't have to worry about going to his therapist.

You are his happiness.

But you're not with him, not by his side. Someone else stole you, someone else has you captive and his anxiety only further fuels his depression.

'She's probably scared to death, starving, being tortured; just like Sooyoung. This is all my fault, why couldn't I just be smart for once? Why did I have to leave her side like that? She wouldn't have left me like that, dammit, Hoseok. You screwed up like you always do!'

Hoseok finally makes it to his house and slowly opens the front door. He sets his jacket on the coat rack, sets his keys on the key ring, and shuts the door behind him.

"Honey?" His mother's voice rings and he slowly lifts his head, his mother's look softens when she sees her son with the red and puffy eyes. She opens her arms wide and Hoseok slowly shuffled towards her, he bends down to reach his mother's height and she envelops him in a hug. Hoseok's mother's heart aches when she hears her son cry like this, she hates seeing her baby broken like this. But it wasn't his fault, it wasn't Y/N's fault, it was those two hooligans who took her.

"It's going to be ok, honey, she's going to come back." Hoseok clings to his mother and his body shakes as he cries harder, his mother rubs his back and she softly hums, "It's going to be alright, she's going to come home, you're going to see her again, and everything will be as it should be again. You just have to stay strong, Hobi, can you do that for her?" Hoseok nods his head and he pulls away slightly from the embrace, his mother wipes her son's cheeks and kisses his forehead.

"Go wash up for dinner, it's almost ready." Hoseok wipes his eyes, nodding his head once more, before he wanders towards the bathroom.

Hoseok looks at himself in the mirror and he stares into his red eyes. He contemplated on taking the contents behind the mirror. His depression medication, he wonders if it's even still good to use.

His long fingers open the mirrored door and he picks up the white capped bottle. He turns the orange bottle to the side and reads the expiration date.

'Still good for another two weeks..' Hoseok sighs before he opens the cap and pours the amount of pills he needed in his palm. He closed the cap and placed it back into the cabinet and popped he pills in his mouth. He swallowed down their bitter taste and closed the mirror shut.

"I miss you..." Hoseok says to no one in particular, but who it was meant for was all that mattered, "I need you."

~*~

Hoseok feels his soul leave his body as the pills have fully taken their effect later in the night. He lays on his bed, his arms above his head as he stares at the ceiling. He threw his blankets off the bed entirely half an hour ago, goosebumps raise on his arms and legs, but he felt as if his body was on fire.

He licked his chapped lips as he continues to stare at the ceiling, beads of sweat forming on his brow as he takes deep, uneven breaths. The memories of you both play in his head as he listens to the silence of the night. Hoseok closes his eyes for a spell before slowly opening them again. He's tried sleeping, he's tried staying awake, but you were always on his mind. He would wake from night terrors and almost screaming your name when he would wake, he told himself it was a side affect from his medicine, but his heart knew otherwise.

Hoseok was deadly afraid, afraid of losing you, afraid of never being able to find you again, afraid that you were dead....

Hoseok can't take it anymore, he gets up from his bed and storms into his bathroom. He practically tears off the mirrored door to his medicine cabinet and pulled out a bottle of melatonin. He pops the caps off and pours so many pills into his hand that they fall into the sink. He takes all of the pills that stayed in his hand and he feels his body begin to shake. He's breathing heavily and he closes his mirror shut.

Hoseok stays haunched over the sink before he looks into the mirror and his face falls.

'What am I doing?!' Hoseok's eyes widen and he immediately crouches in front of his toilet and forces his fingers down his throat, his stomach convulses and he spews the sleeping medication back up. He spits into the toilet before his body shakes as he dry heaves.

Hoseok's body is too weak, he flushes the contents down, his legs shakily support his weight. He brushes his teeth and slowly drags himself back to his bedroom, restless sleep inviting him in his dark room.