BorderZ

8.

"You're moving to London?" Cate asks confused.

"Yeah."

"When?"

"I don't know, once we sort out all my papers and stuff. Might be weeks or a few months." I can see all the excitement drain from their eyes, but they try to conceal it. They smile but I can tell they never expected this news.

"Congratulations hun." Cate says. "I'm a little shocked and upset that you're moving. I'm more upset that you took so long to tell me but I really am proud of you. This is what you've always wanted right?"

"Yeah. I just didn't think it would take so much you know. I wanted to tell you sooner but I wasn't sure if I would be able to do it."

"It's not the end of the world though. We'll come visit. This is a big accomplishment and you should be happy and excited." Trevor speaks for the first time, since I've told him.

"I wish everyone felt that way." I say, thinking about Zayn.

"Someone who feels different, is just being selfish. You deserve that happiness." I don't know if he's trying to convince himself or me.

"Thanks." I smile at him.

We talk for a while about everything and it feels bittersweet. I'd be leaving this behind. No Cate or Trevor to talk to. To make me laugh. To talk nonsense to. Even if I meet new friends, I know it will never be enough. It will never be the same. I'm already missing this.

I feel a burning sensation.

I think it's only starting to sink in now.

Everything I'd be leaving behind.

Is a new job worth it?

"Hey guys, do you mind if I cut this short? I have someone to see." We say our goodbyes and I head for my car. After retrieving my car, I drive to Zayn's place.

I need to see him.

I miss him.

We can't carry on like this.

Right as I get to his door, he opens it. We look at one another. I do something I swore I'd never do. Not for any man. I cry. He doesn't say anything. He doesn't touch me. his jaw clenches and his eyes soften. No matter how much he tries to hide it.

"Zayn please." He looks away. "I need you. Now more than ever." The tears stream down my face and I make no effort to wipe them. It would be pointless. "I've tried to be strong for weeks now and I'm tearing at the seams. You're the only person I need."

"Mel..."

"I messed up. I know. There's nothing I can say to show you how sorry I am. But Zayn I'm breaking down and I know you hate me right now but..." I don't finish the sentence because my tears get overwhelming.

Why won't he touch me?

Why won't he look me in the eyes?

"Zayn, you're the only person I need right now. I'm asking you not to shut me out. Not now." He steps aside so that I can walk in. I go the living room, where he follows. He looks at me from the other side of the room. I drop my bag on the table as I walk up to him. "Please. Don't hate me." I hold his face so that he's forced to look at me. "I would never hurt you."

"But you did. I've been thinking and I just can't understand why."

"I was hurting. I still am. I didn't want to risk it. I didn't want to risk you." my tears refuse to stop. "I'm hurting so much Zayn."