BorderZ

18.

"You were engaged?" I ask. My voice sounds timid and foreign.

I still can't pin my actual emotion at this point. I look at him and he looks uncomfortable. If I wasn't feeling so lost, I would laugh at the absurdity of me making Zayn feel uncomfortable.

"Not really." He sighs as he sits up. "I was young. Probably 16. I had dated this girl, we were family friends. Things were good I guess, I thought I was in love." He looks at me for a second before shaking his head. "I guess age wasn't a big deal for her parents, so they started mentioning marriage to my parents and I just fell into it."

I give him a look.

"I was confused, marriage wasn't something I was thinking about. My parents thought I wanted it and I was just too caught up in my feelings for her that I went along with everything. It wasn't something I wanted, I became very unhappy, and that started to tear our relationship apart."

I feel sadness grip my throat. Not because he was engaged but at the picture of a 16-year-old boy who was willing to do anything for love. Even though it hurt him. I see Zayn sad and alone, unable to say or do anything and it's a picture I never want to see.

"I realized that what I felt was a childish type of love. It wasn't the lasting, overwhelming love you should be feeling. So, I broke off everything. Everyone was upset for a little while. My mom had been there for me, encouraging me to do what makes me happy. I was so afraid of disappointing them, so much that it took me a while before I could put a stop to it." He looks at me, but I doubt he's actually looking at me.

"Then what happened." He sighs at my question.

"We broke up. We were both relieved because we knew we weren't ready for that commitment. She moved the following year. We kept in touch till we got too busy living our own lives." He shrugs. "I wasn't really engaged, we were planning on taking that step. So, I guess the answer is no." I nod, taking a moment to process what he just said.

"Are you mad?" he asks.

Am I?

I walk till I'm standing between his legs. I grab his face and look down at him.

"No. How could I be?" he shrugs. "Why didn't you tell me?" he shrugs again.

"I don't know." I bend down to kiss his lips softly.

"Do you think that's why your dad doesn't approve of me?" he looks at me like I just asked him to solve the toughest math equation ever.

"I don't know. Maybe it's his way of protecting me and trying to prevent the whole thing from happening again." I look at him.

"Do you think that maybe you dated 'the blondes'..." I put it air quotes on the blondes. "and stayed away from certain cultures because you were trying to prevent the same thing from happening again?" he frowns up at me.

"No, I don't think so. I think it was just a matter of the type of women that were constantly in my circle or environment. It's not something I consciously decided on." I nod as I look at him. He gets a serious look on his face as he stands up, causing me to move away from him. "Melony, would you stop trying to analyze me. I'm not one of your patients." My eyes widen a bit.

"That's not what I was trying to do Zayn."

"Well it felt like that." He walks to the kitchen and I follow behind.

"I'm sorry." I tell him as I watch him take out a few groceries. "I was just trying to understand the situation better. I didn't realize it was making you feel that way." He moves to the fridge to take out more food, I'm guessing.