Chapter 29

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NOTE: Apologies again you guys. Busy weekend and I decided that I would change the once a weekend to once a week because I suck at writing on the weekend, still no promises though. Also, I am going to start putting the day of the week in front of the character's POV because I am losing track of days... sorry. Hope you enjoy this chapter anyways. -Captain

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Thursday, Gabe

"I hate mornings," I grumbled to Cas as we got out of the car, heading into the school. He just looked at me, a small smile on his face. 

This was a conversation that we have had on multiple occasions, but I wasn't any less frustrated by mornings no matter how many times we talked about it. "I mean... who wants to get up early in the morning? I understand if you had something cool going on, but... we get up early to go to school. Really? Like... that's not cool man."

"True, but you still do it anyway," Cas muttered back.

I groaned, rubbing my hand down my face. "I don't know why."

"Maybe there is a reason you get up early to come to school.... a reason for you." 

"And what might that reason be?"

I was skeptical of course. There was no good reason to go to school that early. "Sam," he just replied.

"What?" I stared at him shocked. "What could you possibly mean by that?"

"You know well enough," he just replied, a grin on his face.

"You do too!"

"What?" 

"I mean, you have a reason to be here early too. It isn't Sam, but still..."

"What are you talking about?"

"Dean," I replied. He just blushed slightly before elbowing me in the ribs. I giggled quietly and then found myself frowning.

"What?"

"It's actually really sad." He cocked his head in confusion. "We are both totally head over heels for boys who are taken. It doesn't matter if they want to date us or not... they both have girlfriends and are both in such steady relationships that it doesn't look like they will break up anytime soon.

"True... they could always have us in their minds in case they ever did break up with their girlfriends, but it doesn't look like that is going to happen, and who knows... we might be dating someone else by the time they do break up and then we still wouldn't be able to date them."

"Dude... that's just sad. Don't think about that," Cas said, shaking his head sadly. It was the truth though, and even if I hadn't said it, that would always be the case, and we both knew it.

"Come on," Cas mumbled, shrugging off the entire discussion, "we should be getting to breakfast."

"Yeah," I muttered, stalking in through the cafeteria doors.

'Yo! What's up guys?" Dean waved and Cas chuckled quietly to himself. I smirked smugly. Cas was totally, completely, in love with Dean.

"Hey," I replied, sitting down across from Sam, who had a really big smile on his face. I smiled back at him, trying not to think about how cute his dimples were.

Sam opened his mouth to say something, but the bell rang, signaling that it was time to head to first hour. I sighed, shrugging slightly. "Tell me later."

"Sure," he mumbled, stalking off to his class.

Despite us having first hour together, I knew that he wanted to walk with Jess, so I decided to stay out of the way. I didn't mind though. At least this way I wouldn't have to see them kiss each other the entire time.

As I started my trek to hell, the students bustling demons with their own schedules to attend to, I started thinking, which was probably worse than the hell I was headed to.

I liked Sam. I really did. It was more than just in a friendly way and everyone could see that. I won't lie about my heart fluttering when I overheard their conversation the other day, but no matter how I felt for him, I shouldn't forgive so easily.

I told him that I would talk to him again, but I needed time to forgive him, but I already did. There was just something about him that made it hard to stay mad at him for a long time. It was frustrating, I didn't want to like him that much, but I couldn't help it, and it hurt. Every time I saw him and Jess together... it hurt, despite me pretending not to care.

Before I knew it, I was standing inside my class by my desk. There were tears in my eyes and I growled angrily, slamming my book on my desk as I sat down. I wiped angrily at the tears threatening to fall. 

It was stupid. This entire thing was stupid. I was crying over a person, which I swore that I would never do. I sighed, my head falling forward to rest on my crossed arms and I took deep breaths, trying to calm myself down.

When I felt calm enough that I wouldn't yell at anyone who looked at me, I gathered my supplies for the class. "A-are you okay?" 

I turned my head to find Sam staring at me, eyes wide with concern. "Y-yeah. Thanks," I muttered, turning back to the front of the class. 

I hated it. I hated this. He was so damn cute and oblivious and... and it wasn't fair. I hated that he cared enough about me to ask what was going on and I hated that he knew I liked him, but chooses to ignore it. I hate everything about this entire situation because Sam was the only one who could make me feel like dying and living at the same time.

The worst part of it... I haven't even known him that long. It's only been a week. Not even a full one. 4 days. Gods, I am pathetic.

"You are not pathetic, Gabe," Sam muttered and I flushed a deep red. How much of that had I said out loud? 

"Sorry, I didn't know that I was speaking out loud."

"You weren't... not until that last sentence anyways." I sighed in relief, nodding slightly. "You aren't, you know."

"What?"

"Pathetic. You aren't pathetic Gabriel," he replied, a dead serious expression on his face.

"You don't know that." 

Sam opened his mouth to say something, but fortunately for me, the bell rang, signaling the start of class. Sam sighed, turning to face the front of the classroom.

I could feel him watching me, staring out the corner of his eye, but I refused to acknowledge it. Instead, I stared at the front of the class, pretending that Sam wasn't right next to me, pretending that my thoughts weren't a jumbled mess. I stared, not comprehending a single word that the teacher said, but pretending that I did anyways... for the sake of Sam's relationship... and for my own sanity.

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