Chapter 41

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Gabe

"Gabriel! Wake up!"

"What," I groaned, pulling the blanket over me as I rolled over.

"I just got our schedules from our counselor at the new school," Cas started.

"Why does that matter now? School doesn't start for a few more days," I whined, fighting with him over the covers as he tried to pull them down.

"I thought you'd want to see. Plus... our counselor's name is Lucifer. How cool is that?"

I shot up, eyes wide, heart thumping. "What?!"

"Yeah. Cool name, huh?" Cas asked, glad to finally have me up.

"Let me see that," I growled, reaching for the paper in his hands. That doesn't make any sense. Lucifer was my brother. He had been the previous two times. Why would this be any different. I was still going to a new school in Kansas. I was still related to Chuck and Cas. Anna was still my sister. We still moved from Georgia. Why was Lucifer different this time?

"Are you okay?" Cas asked, concerned.

"I'm fine," I chuckled, thinking about what Lucifer would be like as a counselor.

Sir, I need help.

What can I help you with.

Well, I'm being picked on...

Oh come on! You can solve that problem on your own. Man up. Fight back. This is ridiculous. This is what I get paid for. Ha. What a joke. Just ignore it or fight, man. Solve the problem on your own.

It would be quite funny to see, but worrying at the same time.

I was in JROTC with Sam again. So was Jess.

He chose her again.


***

#6

"What classes do I have this time?" I asked, ignoring Lucifer as he pranked Balthazar... again.

"Art, German, and Band," Cas muttered, obviously concerned. I was beginning to be concerned as well. This happened again and again. Slightly different each time. I wasn't sure if it was a dream or not though.

We went to school and to art. I had it with Sam.

I had paint on my nose and he wiped it off, both of us chuckling, my stomach fluttering. Why did I have to keep falling for him?

He chose Jess. This time she was a brand new student, newer than me, and he still chose her.


***

#15

It was definitely not a dream. It couldn't be. It happened too many times already for it to be that. There was one where I was dating Liz, watching Sam. That one was weird because I knew deep down, that I never liked girls.


***

#56

Why was this happening? Why did it keep restarting? I thought about it, and thought about it, and thought about it some more, but I couldn't figure it out. Only a few things stayed the same each time.

Cas was my brother.

Chuck was my dad.

I went to a school in Kansas.

Charlie always believed me when I told her what was going on.

I was in love with Sam

Sam always picked Jessica.

Every single time. Those things wouldn't change. Even if my classes and teachers and family members did. Those did not. I couldn't figure out why any of this was the same or why anything else was different. It wasn't making any sense.

"Maybe there's something you have to do," Charlie suggested.

"Like what?"

"I don't know. Maybe fall in love with someone else," she said, shrugging slightly.

I suppose it wouldn't hurt to try next time. Well, not physically anyways.


***

#130

I did date new people. All kinds. Guys, girls. I fell in love with some, had the time of my life. Adam lasted the longest though. I figured that since he was the longest, that he must be the person I was meant to stay with.

Attempt after attempt I went with Adam, fell in love with him, dated him.

A few times he broke up with me.

A few times he proposed.

But it reset every time.

Every. Single. Time.


***

#334

I talked to Charlie again. She believed me... again.

"Maybe it's not falling in love with someone else then. Maybe not falling in love with anyone," she suggested, a glint in her eye. I could tell she was excited and wanted to use this as a play.

"Go ahead. Use it."

"Really?" I nodded. "Thanks."

"No problem."


***

#600

It wasn't dating someone. It wasn't falling in love with someone else. I as doomed to sit here and try and get Sam to pick me.

I figured it out. Every time I fell for him, he chose Jess. Every time I ignored him he was hurt but chose Jess. If he wasn't hurt by me ignoring him, he still chose Jess. Sam was the only thing not relating to my family that stayed the same.

It had to be him.

But how could I get him to choose me when he was destined to always choose Jess?

How was I supposed to do that when, even if Jess wasn't part of the timeline, which happened a few times, we still fought and he left?

How was I suppose to get him to choose me when he couldn't?

It wasn't fair. I was destined to fall in love and have my heart broken a million times over.

It wasn't fair because there was no escape, no matter what I've tried, and I've tried everything.

It wasn't fair because no matter what I did, I was meant to watch him walk away with the love of his life and have my heart ripped from my chest, my entire being with it.


~~~

"Gabe! Wake up. We have to get to school now otherwise we won't get out schedules in time!"


Here we go again. Another round of this endless torture.

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