To Everything, There Is A Season

Chapter 1

It was seven weeks after the stillbirth of William Walker Gummer, and things were extremely tense between the Gummers. They had a small family burial for their baby at Mary and Harry's in Mason's Island. Meryl insisted the baby be buried there and Don went along with it; wanting to do anything that would give Meryl comfort. Things only grew more and more tense. Meryl wouldn't let anyone else take care of Henry. She wouldn't let Don touch her. She was always picking a fight with Don, and he didn't know the last time she had told him she loved him. She hadn't talked to him for a whole day, ever since he reminded her they could have more babies. Maeve had tried to talk to her. Her mother tried to talk to her. But nothing worked. After a long conversation with his mother-in-law, Don decided to go to the city for a few days. He would NEVER EVER leave her, but as Mary pointed out, she may just need some space with EVERYTHING she had gone through. He agreed feeling as though his constant presence was just upsetting her more. Just the thought of being away from her and Henry after everything they had been through absolutely tore him up inside, but he always said he would do ANYTHING for her and if it meant him going away for a few days then he would even do that. He didn't know what else to do; he was trying to be caring, he was trying to be patient, he was trying to be loving; he did everything he knew to do but he started to feel like she was blaming him. It tore him up that they survived Kevin Mann and all his evil only to go through this. He would have offered to take Henry with him, but she wouldn't let him even feed Henry, so he knew that wouldn't work. Don was in the bedroom packing a bag when she came in. "What in the hell is this? What are you doing, Donald Gummer?"

"Baby, let's talk." Don said as he reached for her hand, only for her to retract it.

Meryl was furious. "Why? So you can tell me how you're leaving me...leaving us? What happened to you loving me through anything and everything? What happened to you always being with me and Henry? What happened to us NEVER being apart EVER again?! What about all those promises, Don?!"

"Baby, I do love you both more than you know. I love you more than I could ever put into words. But..." Don was cut off.

Wild hot tears ran down her face. "Except when I fail you and lose your baby." It was a statement; not a question.

"You listen to me, Mary Louise Gummer." Don said taking her head in his hands grateful she didn't retract at his touch. "I love you more than you could EVER POSSIBLY KNOW, and you did NOT lose OUR baby. I meant what I've said; you fought like HELL for our baby. I thought you were mad at me."

"God, no." Meryl continued to cry as she let everything out. "Where are you going? Why are you leaving me?"

"I thought that's what you wanted. You won't talk to me. You will barely let me around Henry. You won't let me touch you. I have no idea the last time you touched me or you told me you loved me. You don't even reach out for me in your sleep anymore. My presence seems to make you miserable; I thought maybe you didn't want me." Don choked. "I thought you needed space from me. I thought all this was MY fault."

Meryl collapsed on the bed; the heartbreak she had experienced over the last 2 weeks wasn't as bad as the heartbreak she was feeling in that moment. The combination of losing their baby and her husband thinking she no longer wanted or loved him and that it was his fault was almost more than she could take. Meryl thought she would be sick. She couldn't believe how screwed up things were. "Oh my God, I don't ever want space from you. I really am such a failure."

"No, you are NOT!" Don said as he held her as close as possible. He couldn't help but think how much he missed having her in his arms; even though he hated that they both were hurting so much. "Don't you EVER say that Meryl Gummer, NOT EVER."

Meryl cried into his chest. "I pushed you away because I was upset I failed you and hurt you so badly after you have been nothing short of amazing to me and our family these past few months."