Chapter Sixty Eight (Part Two)| New year

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"But, girl tonight you look so prettyYes, you doTimes Square can't shine as bright as you

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"But, girl tonight you look so pretty
Yes, you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you.
I swear, it's true."

-Plain White T's

G R A C E ' S  P O V

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G R A C E ' S  P O V

Status: unedited

Today is the thirty first of December two thousand and eighteen. It's not just the anniversary of my parent's marriage but their deaths too.

Today marks their five years since death and their twelfth year of marriage.

It should make me sad, I guess it makes me feel somewhat off. On this day every single year I usually feel it, I feel their departure weighing down my heart.

It's like déjà vu each and every year. Thoughts of them consume my mind all day; both the good and the bad. I think about all the times they took us to the zoo or out for lunch. I'd think about the times they'd take Caleb and I, to Stonetown Bay to swim for a few hours or to Rosie's diner.

I'd lay in bed all day, from the moment I woke up to the moment I fell asleep, my mind being tormented by such loving memories I'll never experience with either of my parents again.

My heart would physically ache, my eyes would sting, and my cheeks were stained with salt infused tears.

Caleb was the same, he'd stay in his room though he was more void. Void of emotion. He'd stay silent all day, he wouldn't eat, you could barely get a word out of him other than sobs, though I guess I was the same.

New years eve is usually a day of celebration, where people party, drink and spend the day and night with friends and/or family until the moment the clock strikes twelve. It's the day of which people celebrate everything which happened that year and welcome and fresh start.

I'd usually fall asleep before twelve because it hurt too much knowing around that time, my parents were getting slammed into by a car.

I always felt extreme remorse for my parents, I'd feel as though all year I had achieve nothing, I had no recognition for my achievements so going into a new year felt. . .underwhelming.

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