Trigger warnings: selfharm, metaphors for anorexia.
Song: oh ana - mother mother
I'll, be God
I'll be God
I'll be God
I'll be God, today
Keith wanted control of his body. He wanted to be completely in control over what he does with his body.
Hold my head under that bath and breathe away
Slit my wrists and watch that blood evaporate
He loathed himself. He sabotaged himself. He took blades to his skin and sliced away and watched his blood stain the clear water red.
Being this godly can't be good for Ana's safety
Ana hear me
Keith silently pleaded to his body to save him. He knew this wasn't healthy, but he just wanted control. He hated the fact that he had no control.
I'll, play God
I'll play God
I'll play God
I'll play God, today
He's losing control over himself, being completely lost within this sick game. He's pretending he's fine, but he's so angry. Angry he has no control. His body is betraying him.
Anti up and play that god a poker game
Walk away with all our little god's spare change
He's losing himself. He's spiraling, his head spinning as he falls further within this dark pit. He's not himself anymore. He's just empty.
Playing this god it can't be good for Ana's safety
Ana hear me
His body is becoming so frail. He's weak and can hardly find motivation to get himself out of bed. He looks disgusting. So much control lost.
Oh, Ana,
I'll be with you still
You are the angel that I couldn't kill
He knows he cant beat this. He cant beat the raging storm swirling within his mind. He needs control, but he cant seem to win it back. He has accepted he is lost inside this madness.
I'll, fake God
I'll fake God
I'll fake God
I'll fake God, today
With his family worrying, he acts like he's in control. He puts on a front and feigns confidence. He's fine.
Hop up on a cloud and watch the world decay
Ana on my shoulders and we'll laugh away
He's laughing at this situation, laughing at the bittersweet situation. He's becoming skin and bones, his pale skin pulled so tightly around his frame. Bones showing through it, sticking out jaggedly in awkward places.
Faking this god it can't be good for Ana's safety
Ana hear me,
Keith regrets what he has done, but there's no changing it. He's too far in. His body is broken and he cant accept that fact. He's helpless. He's lost all control.
Ana baby,
I'm not crazy, oh, Ana (oh, Ana)
He's descending even further into his spiraling storm. His mind is swirling with so many thoughts and emotions. His loss of control is making him fall further and further. He'll continue to fall until he's been swallowed completely by this black hole of emptiness.
Oh, Ana,
I'll be with you still
You are the angel that I couldn't kill
He's starting to realize he cant get rid of this disgusting parasite. He cant get rid of this loss ofcontrol. He cant win.
Kill
Kill
Kill
Kill
Oh, Ana,
I'll be with you, still,
You are the angel I couldn't kill
Ana,
I'll be with you still
You are the angel I couldn't kill
I couldn't kill
I couldn't kill
I couldn't kill
No, I couldn't kill
No, I couldn't kill
No, I couldn't kill Ana
He cant live. He cant live with this unsightly parasite attached to him. He couldn't live with what he has become. He has to end it. He has to control this.
Oh, Ana
And I oop
Chapter 5 of Love Bites (Literally) is almost done, I might update the first today if you guys want to read that? It's a post-apocalyptic story uwu.
