Toxic [Richard Kruspe]

Reminiscing

  It's been two weeks since the night Richard left me and Melanie at her university dorm. Two weeks since the night Melanie got super drunk and started exposing my feelings for Richard like it was nothing. I don't want to sound dramatic or pathetic, but it's been also two weeks since the night Richard hugged me goodbye and sneaked a piece of paper in my pocket, stating that "this isn't over". I still haven't decoded that message yet, but it keeps bugging me in random moments of the day.

  But let's just go back to that moment when he left and I stayed behind closed doors with my dizzy and kinda annoying friend.

  - "I suppose it's just the two of us now, Mel.", I sigh, shoving the piece of paper deeper in my pocket and I hang my coat.

  - "Yeah it is.", she responds proudly, still in that annoying, yet tired tone.

  - "How can you still be that energetic, even though you look and sound like this?", I sit on the couch, taking of my heels. "I mean, you were about to faint two minutes ago."

  - "I still am, Anna. But this doesn't change the fact that the love of your life just drove us here and spent the night with you at the club.", she smiles foxily.

  - "What does this have to do with the fact that you got sick by Vodka?"

  - "Oh, it doesn't. But I can't overcome the fact that I saw the flamming chemistry between you two."

  - "Can you stop that?", I stand up, half serious, half angry. "And could you -for god's sake- please tell me where do you keep your spare pair of pjs?"

  - "First drawer on your left.", she tries to stand up and follows me in her bedroom. "Anna, don't get upset. It's not that bad actually."

  - "It's not that I think it's bad, Mel. There are some things.. that you don't know. And I'm not willing to tell you yet." I breathe out and continue, changing into pyjamas at the same time. "Nevertheless, he left. I had the chance and I got to know him better out of nowhere. Now he's.. gone. It's better this way.", I fake a smile.

  - "Is it, though?", Melanie lies on her bed, missing her step and holds her head, still feeling dizzy.

  - "It will be, I wish. Why would I even want to have expectations at the first place? It doesn't make any sense.", I join her in bed, undoing my make-up.

  - "It's not bad to have dreams, Anna. You never know when and if they come true, eventually. Don't give up."

  She kinda has a point, I have to admit. But I don't want to do so.

  - "Not in this case.. By the way, it's not me that we have to discuss right now, but you.", I smirk slightly worried. "Do you feel any better?"

  - "I'm not sure, actually. But if I try to stand up, I'll probably pass out in a second. As long as I stay in bed, I'm pretty fine."

  - "Maybe you had a long day and the combination with alcohol brought up things like this."

  - "Pretty much yes.. I can't think of anything else."

  Melanie slowly undresses herself and puts on her nightwear. I offer to help her change but she politely denies it. Classic Mel. Not in need if any help, even at her worst.

  - "If you need any help, just shout. Or text me, whatever works for you. I'll be in the living room."

  - "Anna?"

  - "Yes?", I turn my face.

  - "Thank you. For everything."

  - "No worries, I would do anything for you, especially in situations like this. Now get some good rest and sleep! Tomorrow's Sunday and we've got a lot of catching up to do!", I wink, while exiting her bedroom.

  - "Like tracking Ressh's phone number?", she laughs.

  - "Oh, shut up!", I laugh back and I throw a slipper to her side. "See you in the morning."

  Here we are now, some weeks later with everything seemingly getting back to normal. I continue my studies in the university, I go walking or for cocktails with my classmates from uni, I clean my dorm as much as I can, due to the fact that I have a slight thing with cleanliness, I go shopping..

  Everything's fine. I'm not a hostage anymore and I continue my life as I did before. Sucks though that I miss him.

  Yes, I said it. I miss Richard. I feel bad that he hasn't tried to communicate with me, or at least text me somehow. Did he use me to kill his spare time?

  Sure thing is that I'm free. A free girl with her favourite band member/former kidnapper stuck in her head 24/7. Fucked up stuff.