Toxic [Richard Kruspe]

Ohne Dich

Richard raises his eyebrows, with surprise spreading all over his facial features and I can hear several whispers coming from our audience. Alex is silently mouthing "wow" and I smile foxily.

- "Our new song? Huh, looks like someone is brave enough to attempt this." I caught him off guard and I love it.

- "Why not? I mean, I'm not an expert, but it's not that hard for a fan like me. Plus, it is the perfect example to show to our class how to express emotions, aren't I right..", I pause, "..Richard?"

Richard seems to be a little edgy but tries to hide it.

- "Well, if it's not that hard, why don't we spice it up a little, what do you say, class?", he turns to the auditorium. "What would you say if we, uhm, put Anna on a challenge? Shall we?"

The auditorium shouts approvingly to Richard's challenge and I can spot Alex not feeling that comfortable with what is happening in front of his eyes. Getting swallowed by earth would be the perfect scenario in this case. I wanna cry. In a minute, I'm going to embarass myself in front of 200 people because of my cockiness. I have no idea what he's going to suggest.

- "Ah...- what do you mean by 'challenge'?", I dare to ask scared.

- "For such a gifted and brave student like you, it wouldn't be that difficult to sing AND play in the guitar 'Ohne Dich' for all of us, would it, Anna?"

He instantly takes off his guitar and gives it to me. My hands are shaking as he hands me his guitar and places the microphone Mr. Thornton gave to him in front of me. I can feel a tiny tear trying to escape my eye but I quickly wipe it off, like it's nothing. I try keeping a straight and professional face. Richard comes closer and we whisper in each other's ear.

- "Why are you doing this?"

- "You just said that it's not that difficult of a song, practically disrespecting my work and the effort I put into it. So, miss 'I-know-everything-, here's your chance to impress me." He pats my shoulder and smiles evily, as he walks back to his chair. "Blow my mind."

- "Fuck...you...", I clench my teeth and I focus my stare to my classmates and a very worried Alex. I take a deep breath and I close my eyes to take courage, opening them a few seconds later.

- "Anna... Whenever you are ready.", I hear Mr. Thornton saying from behind. "You'll do great."

- "I'm ready."

In a dead serious look, I start singing the lyrics, trying to remember the guitar parts that are coming afterwards. Everyone is silent and I swear I can hear the birds from outside.

"Ich werde in die Tannen gehen,
Dahin wo ich sie zuletzt gesehen,
Doch der Abend werft ein Tuch aufs Land,
Und auf die Wege hinterm Waldesrand,
Und der Wald er steht so schwarz und leer,
Weh mir oh weh,
Und die Vögel singen nicht mehr..."

I sneak a peek on Richard who looks strongly impressed, yet still snobbish, touching his chin. Time to play the guitar.

"Ohne dich kann ich nicht sein,
Ohne dich,
Mit dir bin ich auch allein,
Ohne dich,
Ohne dich zähl ich die Stunden,
Ohne dich,
Mit dir stehen die Sekunden,
Lohnen nicht..."

I play the guitar for a bit longer, focusing on the solo, because I suddenly blacked out. I feel like there's a knot stuck inside my throat and I stop performing. My voice is shaking and I can hardly keep it on its normal levels. I fix my ponytail and look slightly down.

"Thanks for your attention guys, thank you." I speak through the microphone and the whole auditorium is cheering, whistling and clapping. Alex is shouting 'Go get 'em girl!!' and I can't help but smile.

When the encores stop, I stand up and hand Richard his guitar. He grabs my arm and protests.

- "Wait, that's it? Wouldn't you like to finish the rest of the song? That was excellent."

I try so hard not to curse but I smile ironically.

- "Last time I checked, you were the teacher in this class, not me. Good luck with the rest of the guitar lesson.", I snap and I pull my arm out of his hold.

I walk quickly to my desk and start packing my stuff into my backpack. Alex attempts to stop me, trying not to make a scene in front of everyone.

- "Are you out of your mind? Where are you going?"

- "I need some air. See you later. Explain to Thornton." I say blankly leaving the classroom with a blurry mind and I head to the university cafeteria.