Toxic [Richard Kruspe]

Jealousy

Richard's POV

She's smiling at me so brightly, I feel like I'm falling in love even more passionately; as if it's even possible to do so. I want to kiss her so much, but the guys are staring at us making weird questioning faces and I don't want to risk anything, at least for now. I take my hand away from her cheek and I look at them.

- "So... Maybe we should all go upstairs to drink something, don't you think?"

- "We had enough drinking for today, I suppose.", Paul answers. "Anna knows exactly what I mean. She practically pushed us to drink so much, we sang Mariah Carey, karaoke style.", he lifts his hands in the air and Anna protests.

- "Heeey! It's not like you didn't want it.", she winks and turns at me. "We also agreed to audition for Broadway. We were that good as a team."

- "I don't know about you, but Flake would be perfect for Broadway. Boy's got moves.", I cross my arms snirking to Christian.

- "That's what I said!", Christoph pops in and Flake just stands still, giving us deadly looks, while we burst into laughter.

- "You'll be all dead by midnight.", he comments allegedly annoyed and walks to the stairs. "Come on! Let's have some coffee to sober up ourselves! It's still 7 pm after all."

We follow Christian to the main living room and I stay behind with Paul to help Anna walk more comfortably. Paul grabs her crutches and I lift her in my arms bridal style, not giving it a second thought if Paul understands anything. Anna makes a surprised exclamation when I lift her up and she wraps her arm around my neck to support herself. I realize that as we walk to the living room, Paul takes a suspicious expression and shakes his head, as if he realized that me and Anna are not as annoyed with eachother as we used to be. In fact, he smirks foxily. I shouldn't have underestimated my friend. He's super smart.

When we arrive, I place Anna carefully on the couch and I head to the kitchen with Flake, Oliver and Paul to make some coffee.

- "Hey, Anna, what would you like to drink? We've got espresso, filter coffee, tea and chocolate."

- "Hmm, some hot chocolate would be perfect at the moment. I'm not drunk like the rest.", she smiles ironically and touches her leg frowning. "That damn plaster cast."

- "It'll heal soon. Be patient.", I wink at her and I walk to the kitchen, leaving Christoph to keep her some company.

I'm not that kind of guy, but a little voice in my head suggests that I hide behind a wall and eavesdrop their conversation. I shouldn't be jealous of my friend, but I can't resist the urge to do so. I stay behind and I observe the scene silently.

Christoph throws kindling in the fireplace and sits next to Anna, taking her broken leg to rest upon his thighs. Anna looks at him suspiciously but continues smiling. He taps the plaster cast softly, like he's drumming and then turns to her.

- "Looks like it's just the two of us for a little while."

- "Kinda, yes.", she leans back to the pillows.

- "What do you think about the mansion? Do you like it so far?"

- "Not even in my wildest dreams I would have imagined this. Spending Christmas with Rammstein? And all these because of Richard!"

- "Richard this, Richard that... Everything's about Kruspe all of a sudden?", he pouts and out of nowhere, I feel the blood running up to my head super fast. What the fuck?

- "No, no, I didn't mean it that way.", she explains. "I meant that he was the one who 'connected' me with you guys at the first place. Nothing else."

- "Which means that you love all of us equally. Not Richard specifically."

- "Don"t be silly, Christoph. Of course I love all of you, your music gave me life! And as people, you are like, the best friend material one would possibly have."

- "I see...", Christoph insists. "Let me ask you something irrelevant, if you don't mind."

- "Sure."

- "Have you ever felt something romantic for any of us, besides Richard? I still remember our Q&A in the car.", he asks casually and Anna frowns questionly. I'm gonna kill this betrayer!

- "Wh- what kind of question is this."

- "Just a random question, between us, girls.", he giggles. "Have you ever felt something for... let's say, me?"

Anna sits up and fixes the pillows behind her back awkwardly. My adrenaline has reached the maximum dose that can flow through my veins. How dare he hit on my girl? And why does it take so long for Anna to respond? Goddamn!

- "I have to be honest with you, Christoph. I love you. I love you a lot. But this is not the kind of love I feel for Richard. Me and Richard share something... I don't know how to phrase it accurately, but it's special. A bond that I can't find anywhere, besides him. That's the truth."

Christoph clears his throat and smiles self-conscious. He stares at the fireplace for a minute, before he decides to speak again.

- "I get it... I'm sorry for making you feel uncomfortable. I just had to get it out of my system. I needed to ensure your feelings besides me, before I could express mine. This was a stupid idea."

Anna touches his hand and caresses it.

- "No feelings are stupid, Schneider. You did what you felt like doing and it's fine. I don't know if we'll ever get along with Richard from now on, but I'd never attempt anything romantic with one of his friends. That's who I am."

I hear talking from the kitchen. Paul, Oliver and Flake come outside and head to the couch that surrounds the fireplace, holding a serving tray with our coffees. I join them last and I take my mug, speechless, walking to the exit door. Anna stares at me arduously, but I avoid her, feeling like I just got stabbed. So do the others.

- "Won't you join us Reesh?", Oliver asks, taking a sip.

- "Yes, where are you going?" Paul wonders too, but the words are stuck in my throat.

- "I'll chill at the balcony for a little bit. I'm in desperate need of air.", I answer hurt and I leave them stunned, inhaling the cold breeze in my lungs.