Not Willing To Love Again

Chapter 33

Bella P.O.V

Next morning I walk in the kitchen where Alice and Rose are helping Esme and Consuelo cook breakfast. Damn, I over slept this time, I never over sleep.

"Morning Rise and Shine," Rosalie says with a grin.

"Morn-" I couldn't finish my sentence when the smell of raw meat hit me. God damn, that smell is making me sick.

"Ugh, that's smells horrible," Rose says.

"You get sick smelling raw meat?" Alice asks.

"Some pregnant women do," she replies.

"True," Esme says putting more meat on the grill making it worse. I put my hand on the chair trying to calm myself from wanting to throw up. "When Mrs. Cullen was pregnant with Edward she couldn't tolerate the smell of raw meat."

Fuck, no one seems to notice I'm dying over here! What are they talking about that they don't notice I'm about to throw up over here.

"Oh fuck," I cover my nose and mouth, and run outside. When the fresh country air hits me, I finally breath with relief.

I put my hands on my knees breath deeply in and exhaling out.

"Bella!" They come out of the kitchen with a worried face.

"Don't worry," I say, "is just... That smell... God, that was awful." I gasp standing straight.

I look at them and they look shocked.

"What?" I ask.

"Were you hearing the conversation we were just having?" Rose asks.

I frown looking at them. I did hear they were talking about something, but I was too busy trying not to throw up.

"No," I say patting my stomach that feels numb. "I probably have a sick stomach today... Sorry, I can't help with breakfast..."

"Is okay," Esme says with a warm smile. "Why don't you go out for a walk, try to get the smell off you, okay? Consuelo will look for you when is about to be served."

"Yeah," Alice says. "You do that and we'll cook."

"Thanks guys," I smile.

They head back inside, still with weird expressions on their face. What were they talking about that made them look at me like I was a freak or something.

I cross my arms and start to walk around the ranch. The fresh wind helps a lot, is making me feel much better. I walk pass the crop fields, people would wave at me, say 'Good Morning, Mrs. Cullen,' or, 'Hello, Mrs. Cullen.' I would wave back or say hello back.

I kept my walk until I reached the horses, especially the one Billy was petting the day of the wedding. Jacob. I haven't seen him yet, I wish I could, I need to talk to him.

I slowly pet the horse.

"Hello, Jacob," I smile petting him. He's so big and beautiful, so calming. "How are you, huh?" I pet him more and touch his face softly. "You're so beautiful and strong..."

"Bella?" Is Billy. I look behind me and he's standing by a gate with a bucket filled with food. "You're back."

"Yeah... I was just admiring the horses." I say.

"I see. Did you enjoy the honeymoon?"

"Can... We not talk about my marriage."

"Well, then there's nothing you and me have to talk about." He comes closer and starts feeding the horse with carrots.

"Billy, it hurts me how cruel you are with me," I murmur.

"I said: you and me have nothing to talk about." He growls.

I sigh. "I'm sorry."

~~~~~ That Afternoon ~~~~~

I couldn't find my pin, I looked and looked around the room but I just didn't find it.

I open the little cabinet next to Edward's side to see if it was there. But, a plastic bag captures my eye. There's a wallet in it. I take it out and opened it.

Tears filled my eyes when I see Jacob's ID. What is Edward doing with his wallet in his room?!

"Bella? What's that?" Edward comes in the room. I don't look at him, I don't answer him. "Bella, are you okay? Love, you're pail." He touches my cheek.

"You killed him!" I throw the wallet to him. "You murder! You killed him!" I start hitting his chest with my fist.

"Bella, what the hell are you talking about?!" He takes my arms stopping me from hitting him. "I didn't kill anyone!"

"WHY DO YOU HAVE HIS WALLET?!" I yell.

"WHAT WALLET?!"

"JACOB'S!"

"What?!" He snaps. He leans down and picks up the wallet, not bothering on looking at the ID. He knows who am I talking about. "Love, I swear I don't know how did this get in my cabinet."

"Don't you dare call me Love!" I yell taking the wallet back. "I can't believe... And I even thought you were different... I hate you!" I hit his chest.

"Bella, please! Believe me, I didn't kill him!" He begs. "Please, I don't even know him!"

"Shut up! I don't believe you! You are a monster! I can't believe I married a murderer! I-"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" He snaps. "I DIDN'T KILL ANYONE, ISABELLA!"

"I don't believe you!" I run out of the room.

I walk to Matthew that's playing with his race cars.

"Matthew, would you come with me?" I wipe my tears away.

"You okay?" He asks me.

"Yeah, c'mon." He takes my hand and we walk down where Julian is standing next to the car.

"Mrs. Cullen," he says.

"I need to go to La Push," I say.

"Mrs. Cullen, your husband said-"

"It's an order!" I say. "Please?"

He nods and opens the back doors. I get in the back with Matthew waiting for Julian to start the car.

We start heading towards La Push.

~~~~~ At La Push ~~~~~

The sky is cloudy and with this dark grey color. The wind is kind of fast and really cold. The waves of the water look really dark and the sand has no live color.

I thought it would be different.

I told Julian to take Matthew to get something to eat while I wait here. I also called Emmett - I didn't tell him about the wallet or what happened - I told him if Edward asked him to tell him I was out with Matthew.

I walk down the beach looking at the water, with my arms crossed, and my hair blowing in my face.

Is there anyway that Edward could have killed Jacob? Why would he kill him? And what if he didn't kill him? Then I made a horrible mistake. But, if he didn't kill him, why was his wallet in Edward's cabinet? I'm so confused.

"Bella?" I look around until I see him standing there. His eyes look like he's about to cry. "Is that...? Is that really you?"

I start feeling dizzy, I feel like my pressure just dropped. My heart pounds fast as I see him standing there, looking at me.

"Jacob?" I sob. "You're alive?"

Author's Note:

Mwahahahaha they meet once again! What do you guys think is going to happen now? Leave your thoughts and comments!

Love you all!

December 17, 2014

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~Joan0324