Not Willing To Love Again

Chapter 36

Edward P.O.V

She passes out right in my arms. I carry her to the bed, lay her gently down and run to Carlisle's room. He checks her heart rate, which he says is low, as well as her temperature. He also takes a blood sample because Esme told him Bella was feeling sick this morning with the smell of raw meat, once again.

"I'll send the sample today and well probably get the results tomorrow." He says in a whisper. "She'll sleep until tomorrow. Let her be in bed in the morning, rest a little. Then, when Irina comes she'll probably be better."

"Okay," I say not taking my eyes off of her.

"You should sleep also, you don't look really well."

"I'm fine," I reply. "Send them and when the results come you tell me first before telling her, okay?"

"Okay," he says. "Good night."

I nod and he leaves.

I take the chair next to the bed and sit right next to her. She looks so peaceful, relaxed. Her chest elevates with every breath she takes. Her eyes have this purple shadow under them. I look at her lips, the simple thought that those lips touched another persons lips just makes me furious.

"No, please!" She cries behind me. Her sobs hurt the deepest part of my heart that makes me freeze just at the step of the door."Please, don't leave! Please, I'm really sorry! Just don't leave, I'm begging you!"

I slowly take her hand that's cold and kiss it.

"I'm not leaving, Bella," I say putting her hand against my cheek. "You will fall in love with me, I know."

I step up and cover her up with the blankets so she won't be cold. I change in a pair of sweat pants and put a jacket on.

I head our for a run.

I run across the barn, the horse field, the crops field, the other barns and pass the lake. I run and run trying to get all the fury I got inside me, out. "I... I kissed him." Those words repeat inside my head over and over again until I finally snap. I let myself fall to the ground and start punching it.

She saw him, she kissed him but she came back to me. She came back, told me the truth, begged for my forgiveness and begged for me not to leave until she passed out. She is already mine, she loves me but she's way too stubborn to admit it.

I get back inside the mansion. In the living room I can hear Emmett and Rosalie giggling and talking about their baby.

"I don't know, Edward, maybe I'm imagining it," Esme said. "But, this morning she got sick with the smell of meat. She never did before and I remember that your mother also got sick with that smell and even Rosalie gets sick-"

"What are you trying to say?" I asked.

"Don't you think there could be a small possibility that she may be pregnant?"