The Flame (Avengers Fanfiction)

79-From the Grave

A few days after the first day of school, a pretty large box arrived. I brought it inside and sat it down on the table. Neddy was napping and Benny was at school. I think Sam and Bucky were working out or something like that. The house would have been completely silent if it wasn't for Fleetwood Mac softly playing from the record player in the living room.

I used a knife to open the box carefully, breaking the tape's seal. I set the knife aside and looked inside, my heart skipping a beat when I say a bundle of papers tied together with a baby blue ribbon sitting on top. I carefully reached in and picked up the bundle of what I can now see are letters, seeing my name in an awfully familiar script.

To Peyton Annemarie Stark-Rogers

My heart was beating fast as I shakily undid the ribbon and opened the first letter. I was scared of what Steve had wrote. Part of me didn't want to read it, wanted me save his last words to me for some other day. But the other part of me was too curious, way too curious.

Dear Pey,

I've been the worst husband to you, dollface. I really, really have. I've made so many mistakes as your husband and I hate it. I've messed up bad and I completely understand if you hate me. It's okay, it really is. I'd hate me too with the way I've treated you. You're the best damn thing that's ever happened to me. You gave me our son, gave me a home, a family. You gave me your heart and I should've appreciated that more. I should've listened to your brother. I wish I could go back and redo everything, but life doesn't work that away. What I've done to you will always be something I regret.

I know I shouldn't be writing this to you. I should say this to you, in person. But it'll be hard and this will be easier for you, to just read it. You don't want to see me and that's okay. It's understandable. I wouldn't want to see this ugly mug either. So I'm writing all of this to you.

Right now, as I write this, I'm thinking of the first day we met. God, you looked so beautiful. You could've given me a heart attack, doll. Now I'm thinking about how I knew I was in love with you when you were driving me around. You had those big sunglasses on and you singing along to one of your Fleetwood Mac songs. I knew right then and there that I loved you so damn much. I wish I would've told you sooner, I really wish I would've. You've done so much for me, sweetheart. Hell, you risked everything to help me during the whole Accords situation. You went to jail for me. I wish I could've done more for you. I should've done more for you.

I'm sorry for the times I've betrayed your love. You don't deserve that. God, you deserve so much better than that. The first time shouldn't have happened. Both of them shouldn't have happened. You were hurting after we lost our second child and I wasn't there for you. I hate myself for that, I really do. I should've turned to you for love and I didn't. I'm an asshole and you stayed with me. You said you wanted to work it out and that you didn't want to throw away our relationship-

Tears are rolling down my cheeks as I'm sent back to the moment I found out about Steve cheating on me for the first time four years ago.

-

"You-You're cheating on me, aren't you?" I ask as I shut the door to Ben's room, not bothering to even look at him, at my husband. I could practically hear his heart beating fast. It was only a few hours after Ben's baptism party and I immediately knew who the other woman was as soon as she walked in. Sharon Carter walked in, giving me a huge hug. She was wearing Daisy by Marc Jacob. Steve refrained from giving her a hug and that's how I put it together. Steve gives everyone hugs, but he didn't hug Sharon. You wouldn't hug your mistress in front of your wife.

"Pey-Peyton-" He struggles to come up with an excuse as I walk into our bedroom. I use my powers to slam the door shut behind him. I pinch the bridge of my nose, trying to control my emotions. Those dark whispers urge me to take my anger out on my husband.