Be With Me

Chapter 20

In the middle of the night Rafaela felt James leaving the bed carefully. Though she was awake, she didn't tell him anything, she just let him go. When the door of the bedroom closed shut, she turned the light on the nightstand on and read the time, 3 am. She lied on her back and stared at the ceiling unable to sleep as well, and just stayed there watching time pass by. They were both distressed. An hour later and with James still not by her side, she decided to go to him.

She found him on the balcony staring at the dark horizon, a full moon enlightening the ambiance. Rafaela wrapped her arms around his waist and kissed the back of his shoulder. His hands wrapped around hers instantly.

"I thought you were sleeping." He said.

"What are you doing here?" She asked instead. James turned around to look at her and pulled her hair back. She looked tired.

"I'm just thinking. I can't sleep..." She explained.

"About the baby, I suppose. That's what is keeping me awake too." Rafaela sighed and then sat on the floor. James sat by her side and held her hand.

"You should be sleeping, you have to work tomorrow baby."

"I just can't sleep. I can't stop thinking about it. I don't know what to do."

"Here's what I was thinking..." James told her. "I think if we were responsible to ignore your father's ultimate, got a house and came living together against all odds, we also have to take responsibility for the baby. After all...he's part of us..."

Rafaela looked at him and remained silent for a few seconds studying the veracity in his words. "So, what you're saying is that we should keep the baby?" She asked to be sure she understood what he was proposing.

"Seems like the right thing to do. I mean...we don't even have money for the abortion, and then abort seems like the easiest way to get rid of a problem, but it's our kid Rafi, ours..." He insisted in the end. "This is just a thought...I don't know...but first I do know that you need to see a doctor."

"We don't even have money for the doctor's appointment...in our account there's only money to pay the rent and for food now."

"I'll find a way. I'll get us some money." James said.

"Can't you see James? If we don't have money just for the first appointment how are we going to have it for the rest that comes with the pregnancy, not to speak about the things the baby is going to need..."

"So, you really want to abort?" He asked taking a deep breath. His puppy eyes broke her heart.

"No..." She whispered. "I really don't want to abort. Part of me thinks like you, it's just that I don't see what other option we have at the moment. We're trapped..."

"I want to have the baby Rafi, if you agree, I know we'll find a way. I know we're damn young, but..." He shook his head. "I don't know...I also don't want to get rid of this baby just like that. I feel responsible for it."

"So do I." She confessed.

"We really need to come to a conclusion." He stated.

"First, you're right, we need money to see a doctor."

"I'll get us the money." He assured her. "I don't know how, but I will ok?" James bent over her and kissed her lips. "I love you sweetie." He said tenderly.

"Thank you so much for supporting me." She said.

"How couldn't I?" James got up and gave her his hand. "Let's go to bed, it's gonna be tough for you to get up for work tomorrow."