Be With Me

Chapter 42

Late at night, after James had put Liam to sleep, he met Rafaela in the kitchen, she was putting the cutlery in the dish washer and he came to grab her from behind. He needed to apologize and apologize really well, he knew that. Rafaela was still mad at him, so she shook him away.

"Don't hold me." She said not looking at him.

Behind her, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. She could make him lose his patience sometimes. "Come on..." He said then grabbing her hand, she turned around. "I am sorry!" He said. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Is Liam sleeping?" She asked pretending his caress didn't matter.

"Yes." He said not letting go, though she was trying to pull her hand away. She hadn't talked to him after they got home. "Don't pull your hand away, come on..." He asked.

"You yelled at me this afternoon, you hurt me, and you acted like I was some sort of irresponsible, something I am not. I am a good mother, you sounded like I wasn't, that's not good. That's not a good thing to hear from anyone and especially from you." She shot at him.

"I have been telling you to put the fence there since forever." He argued. "I am afraid he goes there alone!

"God...you live terrified with the fucking pool! I was watching him!" Rafaela raised her tone. "Stop being so overprotective. Nothing is going to happen to him!"

"It is dangerous, and you know it. Ever since he started to walk and run that we talked about putting the damn fence there. He can't swim!" He argued back. "I am terrified that something happens to him, Rafi! You better than anyone should understand my fear... fuck!"

"That doesn't mean you had to say or do things the way you did." She turned around again, giving him her back. "I know all about your fears... you need to let go. You need to relax a bit more."

James walked around her and put himself in front of her. "This is part of the reason why I don't want to have another kid now..." He dropped the bomb. "It's too much responsibly and I don't want any more responsibility." Rafaela stared at him. "Raising him is amazing and I love him like I can't even describe but the fear that something happens to him drives me insane. "

"So, this is not even about the fucking band..." Rafaela said looking in his blue gaze.

"It's also that, yes. We are so damn busy... Bob Rock is fucking insane... he comes with ideas that I don't understand sometimes. This album is taking ages to record just one song... it is also that..."

"But you are also afraid of responsibility..."

"Yes..."

"You are unbelievable!" Rafaela exclaimed and turned her back on his again to leave. James went after her.

"Why do I always have to be the one to come up to you trying to sort things out? Why, for once, can't you swallow your pride and come to me? I am always the one trying to make you talk, trying to kiss you, trying to hold you. You're so proud!" He yelled.

"Usually you're the one losing your grip." She shot.

"Oh no..." He waved his finger in front of her nose. "No I am not! Many times you were the one to pick up a fight out of nowhere and still I had to be the one to come to you."

She turned around to him again. "What has this to do with what happened this afternoon?"

"Everything! I have been asking you to do something that you haven't done, and it is to protect our son. It is not like I am asking you something really hard to do, and still you spent the whole time without talking to me, not even looking at me. I think, you could, for once, come to me and say you're sorry. I don't even need the words you know, all it took was for you to come and hold me or kiss me, but you never do that. I have to be the one to do that. I hate it when you go silent on me, when you act like you're always right and you're not. I am your boyfriend, there's nothing wrong with swallowing your fucking pride sometimes and try to make things right for us. I feel like if I don't do anything, we're gonna be without talking forever. Or maybe it's because I love you enough to hate to be without talking to you, or maybe you love me a little less and you're ok with that."