Be With Me

Chapter 47

"He promised we'd look for a house and guess what? Nothing, that was last week, and he hasn't said anything else about it. He doesn't listen..." Rafaela complained.

"Shouldn't you be there with him?"

"I just want to be away..." Rafaela said while her mother pampered her hair. Cynthia knew they were broken and unable to communicate.

"Why do you want to leave the house?" Her mother asked.

"I don't want to leave..." Her eyes watered. "I just can't stand to be there... I can't..." Rafaela shook her head while tears began to fall. "I can't stand being inside the house mom..."

"Oh sweetie..." Cynthia breathed feeling her daughter's pain.

"All I want and wish for is to have my boy back..." Her lips trembled and she sobbed low. "It's so hard... when does this pain stop? I can't take it, I can't. Everyone says time heals but it's not doing anything for me. The more time goes by the more I miss him. I miss him so much..."

"You have to be strong baby." Cynthia bent down over her and kissed her forehead.

"I'm trying... I am really trying but I really can't focus on anything. I thought about going back to work, but they told me not to, they told me to stay two weeks more at home. I can't be there... it's just so... unbearable."

"Painful. Look, insist. You two are living a very difficult time. We all are, but the two of you more, but I know James loves you."

"I wonder how much he loves me now. All he does is to be locked up in Liam's room or outside on the porch drinking beers. He doesn't even look at me, it seems like I don't even exist." Rafaela complained. Then she took a deep breath. "I am being unfair... I know he loves me. He's just as broken as I am."

"He lost his son, just like you did. So, he's hurting too, and people hurt in different ways. Your way to deal with it is being far away and his is to be there. You need to talk because if you keep doing this, both of you, living the pain alone, you will grow apart." Cynthia warned.

"It's easier said than done." Rafaela stated and then she got up. "I need to go. I need to meet Kelly."

"Are you sure Rafi, maybe James is expecting to stay at home." Cynthia advised.

"What for? We don't talk. We don't sit together... there's just this painful silence, his absent stare, my mind yelling at me to leave. It's not easy mom." With that she kissed her mother's cheek and left.

When she got inside her house, it was the usual, James was in Liam's room and she didn't bother to go there. Instead, she went straight to their room and put her outfit to wear on the bed, then she went for a shower. James, seeing she wasn't going there, and hearing the shower running, he went to their room and stopped looking at her clothes on the bed. Gently he opened the door of the bathroom and entered it.

"Are you going out?" He asked.

Rafaela closed the water and then reached for the white towel. "Yeah..." She simply said.

"It's dinner time Rafi." He said.

"Girls night out with Kelly. We're going out for dinner and then some club, I don't know." She shrugged and sounded cold.

James turned around without saying a word. Her heart ached for doing such thing, but the thin air inside that house was already suffocating her and she had been there for twenty minutes. Fast, she went to the room and got dressed, put some makeup and grabbed her purse. When she got to the living room, surprisingly, James was on the couch and the TV was on, that must have been the first time the TV was on for the last two weeks.