Be With Me

Chapter 35

The next day was even harder. Cliff's funeral took place and Rafaela was by James's side the whole side. They left Liam with her mother and together paid the last homage to their friend. She expected him to dismantle there, but James was irreducible in holding his pain inside, though tense and gripping strongly onto her hand, he didn't shed a tear, nor did he say a word. That silence was killing her.

Later, after the ceremony was over, a small group gathered at Cliff's parents. The whole band was there, his closest friends, together with the girlfriend's except for Corinne who was devastated during the funeral and unable to continue. She was taken home by a friend of her. Rafaela feared for her, for she had seen her breaking in two in front of her eyes and she knew Corinne loved Cliff very much.

While they all sat barely talking and some muffins were served, Rafaela went to the balcony to breathe some fresh air. She also had been holding her tears because she didn't want to cry in front of James, so she needed to be alone for a while, for she needed to grieve a bit.

While she sniffed and cleaned her tears, she felt a hand on her shoulders and she looked back, cleaning her tears fast, thinking it could have been James, but it was Lars.

"Hi..." She breathed with her voice still shaking a bit.

"Came here to cry alone?" Lars asked her, leaning against the rail in front of her.

"I can't cry in front of him. You know...I have to make myself strong..."

"How is he?" Lars looked as sad as everyone else and adding to that concerned with his best friend. Rafaela knew Lars loved James like a brother.

"Quiet." Was all she said.

"You have to be patient with him. I think this is getting into him hard. You know why..."

"Lars, he got home and shut down. He doesn't say a thing about it. He doesn't cry. He doesn't rage, nothing... I just wish he'd hurt, properly and not burying everything inside like he's doing."

"You have to help him Rafi. With you he'll heal, I am sure of that." Lars patted her arm. "I am worried about him."

"I think the one helping him is the baby. He's been with him all the time; every second Liam is not sleeping."

"Really?"

"Yeah..." She nodded. "Since he got home yesterday...he hasn't slept much at night."

"Give him time." Lars said.

"You're a great friend." Rafaela smiled and kissed his cheek.

"You know you can count me." He assured her.

"I know...if I need help, you're the first person I'll come to."

"Rafi..." She heard James's voice calling her name. "Can we go home now?"

"Sure." She smiled at him. James approached Lars and shook his hand goodbye and Rafaela kissed his cheek again, then holding onto her boyfriend's hand they left towards home.

"Can you bring Liam home?" He asked first thing when the gate opened. She nodded and James stopped by her mother's door.

"Don't you want to come in?" She asked him, opening the door of the car.

"No..." James shook his head. "I'm going home." With that she nodded and closed the door, not ringing the bell until she could no longer see the car.

"So, how was it?" Her mother asked giving her the stuff of the baby.

"Terrible. His girlfriend was so broken. She's this girl full of life and joy mom, and today she was just so far from that, it broke my heart. I tried to go to her, but James didn't let go of my hand, when he felt me releasing me he gripped tight."