Be With Me

Chapter 33

September 1986

Since Rafaela's father was on a business trip, her mother came to have dinner with her. Liam was really disquieted, giving them a bad time during their meal, and then alternating while they put the kitchen back in order, they managed to make him sleep a bit.

"Seems like autumn is coming sooner this hear." Cynthia commented looking at the rain outside.

"It's almost October mom, so not really."

"Have you been visiting Kelly?"

"Yes. I wanted to go today but since Liam was so cranky I didn't go, but she's doing fine. Her treatment is going well; she looks like the Kelly we've always known. She even wants to go back to college." Rafaela explained.

"And you?" Cynthia asked her.

"I made my application. Liam is four months old now, almost five, and I decided to take your offer. I went there yesterday after visiting Kelly." She smiled.

"Good Rafi. I can perfectly look after the baby while you go to classes, plus it will be a pleasure to spend time with that cute little thing." Cynthia said looking at her grandson sleeping peacefully in the stroller. "Back to Kelly Rafi..." She eyed her daughter. "What happened between you two? I mean... I know James was her boyfriend. I remember when she came to tell us you stole her boyfriend and who he was. What I mean is, what crossed your mind? You never talked to me about that..."

"Do you blame me too?" Rafaela asked taking a deep breath.

"No..." Cynthia shook her head. "But she was your best friend, that is not something that we do, to take our best friend's boyfriend."

"MOM!" She exclaimed indignant, but then she nodded knowing her mother just wanted to understand. "It's a bit late to ask me that mom. It's been two years, James and I have a baby, but...ok..."

"I just want to make clear that I am not blaming any of you for the path she took, that's not it. I just want to understand because it crosses my mind many times why you did what you did."

"It was love mom. It wasn't lust, it wasn't jealousy she had a boyfriend and I didn't, it was none of that. I fell in love with him. At first we were just friends, we used to talk a lot but then I realized my heartbeat faster near him and that I was always anxious to see him. I felt that on James's side too, we tried to resist but it came to a point where none of us wanted to resist anymore. We should have, before anything happened between us, we should have talked to her. She wouldn't understand the same way, I am sure of that, but things wouldn't be as ugly as they were. James should have break up with her and then I should tell her how I felt. I am sorry things didn't happen like that, we screwed up, but we were in love."

"If you could go back in time would you do things differently?" Cynthia asked her.

Rafaela stayed silent for a brief instant. "I don't know..." She said low, then she looked in her mother's eyes. "If the only way to stay with James was the way we did it, I wouldn't do anything different." Her mother looked at her a bit shocked. "I may sound cold and selfish, but I do love James more than anything in this world and I can't imagine my life without him. That question made now, at this point of my life doesn't make much sense, because we have a two years and a half relationship so a lot has happened to us, it's obvious that I wouldn't change a thing, but if someone guaranteed me that I would stay with him the same way then I would, but there's no such guarantee is there?" He mother shook her head silently. "I love James above anything in this world, anything." Rafaela affirmed.

"Even above Liam?" Cynthia confronted her.

"Mom, that question is unfair and tricky." She smiled. "You are a mother, you have me and you have dad, so you know perfectly well how it is and what mother's love is. If I love Liam more than I love his dad? I don't know... it's different love but it's obvious I would not let go of my son for anything."