It's Complicated (Shawn Mendes Fanfic)

Chapter Twenty-three

I groaned as I pulled my pillow closer to my chest. It's too early to get up. Wait a minute-

I open my eyes and almost yelled when I see another body in bed. Kayden and I were tangled together in his bed, my leg over his and his arm over mine.

Pounding filled my head as memories of last night came back to me. Oh God last night was crazy. I try to squiggle out of Kayden’s grasp, and fortunately am able to break free from his hold. Thankfully he was still fast asleep. I hadn’t even change out of my party clothes last night, so I decided to go back to my room and take a shower.

I shouldn’t have drank at all, even though I didn’t drink too much, it still messed with my mind a bit and made me more carefree and light. I kissed Kayden back, and I don’t even like him!! I only kissed him back because he tasted like alcohol..right?

I shook these thoughts off my head as I took a nice warm shower and changed out of my clothes from last night. I-I don't really want to confront Kayden about what happened last night, besides he's still sleeping. I need to talk to Shawn right now, we have unfinished business we need to take care of.

Serenity: Hey Shawn, can we meet up?
We need to talk

Shawn: Um sure
I'll pick you up in 10

Serenity:Okay cya

Truth is, I'm trying to be more hostile and distant from him, hoping its easier to break the news to him. I'm looking for anything but a relationship right now. I just want to go through college in peace, no relationships, no drama. 

Shawn seems like a really nice guy, and I do like him a lot, I-I just can't though. It's just not fair for him. I hope he will take it lightly and we can just be friends.

"Hey how are you?" He smiled nervously at me, knowing something must be up. I tried to be too harsh, to be honest it is so hard for me to do this because I really like him. "Good," I give him a soft smile, "Where are we going?" I asked him out of pure curiosity.

"Is my place okay?" He asked me, already on the street. "Yeah sure," I say. The ride wasn't awkward or anything, he was just really nervous, and I couldn't lie and say I wasn't. I was trying to make this easy on myself, but he's making it so hard by being so cute.

It's just a little crush, it'll be gone sooner than I think, right? Why cant I believe myself; maybe I don't want to.

We entered his house-sorry apartment, and he led me to his room. He sat on the side of his bed, facing me, and I sat on the other end.

"You wanted to talk?" Shawn says to me questioningly to me, and I sigh. I still don't know how to tell him. I bite my lip nervously as stare into those chocolate brown eyes. I feel myself scooting closer to him.

"What's wrong, are you okay?" He asks concerningly, his voice soothing me. "We can't- I-" I say, struggling to find the words. I look away from his eyes, not being able to look at him any longer. 

He lifted my chin to look at him, our faces inches apart as he looks into my bluish-gray eyes, searching. He finally finds something, as he crashed his lips on mine. My body immediately responded as kissed him back, until- I abruptly break apart, flustered and trying to catch my breath. I want to kiss him, more, but I can't.

"I'm sorry Shawn-I can't, this, us, can never happen," I say as I rushed out of the room, without waiting for his reply. I race downstairs and call an Uber as I waited on the porch. Fortunately the Uber was the street away and he came in the blink of an eye. 

I hopped in the back and shut the door, as I heard the house door open. "Serenity? Wait, hold up I-" Shawn pleads, running up to the car, but the driver speeds off and I can hear Shawn curse loudly.

I feel so bad, I didn't mean to tell him this way!  The feeling of his lips on mine still lingered, and I touched my lips reminiscing the moment. 

As soon as the driver drove away, a tear slipped out of my eye. The feeling of moist, salty tears engulfed me as I sobbed quietly to myself, not a sound escaping my mouth.

I can't believe I just did that. I'm going to regret it; heck I regret it at this very moment. 

My phone rang, and without looking at the caller ID, I answered the call. "*sniffs* He-hello?" I talk into the phone, my voice off because of my crying. "Serenity are you crying?" A voice I immediately recognized as Shawn asked. I immediately ended the call. 

I wiped the tears off my face, but I could still feel a slight wetness on my cheek. The ride ended and I silently thanked the driver and entered the house. 

Oh great. I have to deal with Kayden and what happened last night. Things just get better and better, don't they. 

I sighed as I walked up the stairs and into my room. I then closed it shut and threw my bag onto the table and plopped onto the bed. I literally can't deal with everything right now.

I slept until 6 PM, and then woke up again. I sat up on the bed and rubbed my eyes. Just then the door creaked open slightly, and Kayden's head peeked out. "Serenity..can we talk?" He asked hesitantly to me. I nodded and he came in.

"Look Kayden, can we just forget about what happened, you were drunk and it was a mistake right?" I asked him, tired of everything.

"I can't just brush it off like that Serenity! Maybe it didn't mean anything to you but it meant everything to me, drunk or not. I love you Serenity. I loved you for so long, and the moment I told you, you just brushed it off like it was nothing! Do you know how much that hurt me?!" He says, his voice loud, angry.

I cried out, "What am I supposed to do Kayden? I'm sorry for hurting you but I was so stressed with everything-I still am. I know you love me, I'm sorry but I don't even know how to react to that. I-" I sobbed quietly on my bed.

He scooted closer to me on the bed. "Hey it's fine. Even though it kills me, in the end our friendship is more important," he says with a sad undertone, wiping my tears away with his thumb.

I looked at his face and he smiled back at me. "Thanks Kay. Ugh I need a drink," I say, stressed out. You can't blame me; I just ended things with the guy I really liked, I kissed my best friend when I was drunk last night, my evil father is in jail for trying to kill me; how crazier can things get now?

"I'll go get you a beer from the fridge," Kayden smiles softly, knowing very well that I need it. "Thanks Kay, you're a lifesaver," I tell him gratefully. He comes back with a bottle in hand.

I chug the contents of the bottle as fast as I can, ignoring the stinging of my mouth. "Woah woah woah, slow down there tiger!" Kayden stops me, pulling the bottle away from me. I frown at him, but know it's for the best. He's just looking out for me.