It's Complicated (Shawn Mendes Fanfic)

Chapter Forty-five*

The picture is just for fun, Shawn looked amazing at the 2020 Grammys.. Too bad he didn't win :(

Anyway, enjoy!

Explicit scenes ahead.

"Are you ready to go?" Shawn asks, putting on sunglasses as he exited his suit with a suitcase. I nodded wordlessly as my mother and I stepped out as well.

"Why do you wear sunglasses whenever we go outside? You look like a dork," I laugh and ruffle his hair. "Heyy that's mean," he shoves me playfully and attempts to fix it, faking a glare.

"Sorry baby," I say, kissing him on the cheek and he reddens. "I wear them to protect my eyes," Shawns says. Lol actually? What a nerd. I love him though. "Nerd," I tease with a whisper and he pushes my shoulder, "shush."

"Should I drop you both at your house?" Shawn asks us as we get into his SUV. "Yes, thank you," my mother responds.

"Well, I'll see you soon?" Shawn asks. I want to stay with him again...Is it too much to ask? "Can I stay the night with you?" I ask him. He looks around, "Only if your mother allows you too." Always the gentleman. 

"Mom, I'm going to stay with Shawn tonight if that's okay?" I ask and she answers, "Alright, stay safe." I thanked her, she is really the best. "Let's go," I say, lacing my fingers in his.

"Where are you taking me?" I ask as he leads me up to his apartment. There's more stairs? It's dark now, already 7 pm. Time flies with him to keep me company. "We are almost there," he says, indirectly answering my question.

"Wow." The dark blue sky was beautiful, not a cloud in sight. Nearby buildings were visible and the view was incredible-it looked like New York city. The way Shawn had this set up though. There were multiple seating areas and an electric fireplace. He had glass railing on the edges that completed the look. 

"This is absolutely beautiful," I say, awestruck. "I know right? I come up here to think a lot,  I find peace here," Shawn admits and I squeeze his hand. I feel like he has and is going through a lot, I just want him to open up to me.

"What's troubling you Shawn? You can tell me," I urge him as we walk closer to the glass railing. "It's just..it's really complicated," he says.

I squeeze his hand and stand closer next to him so that our sides are touching. "I'll try to understand," I say, briefly taking my eyes off the view to ensure trust within him. 

"I..have a job..All this time, when I was doing it, I felt happy. But not really happy inside, you know? I was just happy because other people were happy and I was grateful for everything. But when I was alone,  I felt lonely and lost. I wasn't happy on the inside. I mean..I tried to be happy I swear- but I couldn't...I decided to take a break from it all and wounded up with you."

"To be honest with you, I feel the happiest I have ever been. You see the real me. The person I am on the inside, not just because of my job. I'm afraid that if I tell you, you will treat me differently. I don't want to lose you.. And I'm going back to my job at the end of August,  without you. I just can't bring you-no matter how much i want to, I'm not allowed. I don't know if I can do it without you knowing. I don't think I can do it without you. I think you'll find out at some point, I just.. I'm scared Serenity."

I could hear his heart pounding after his confession. I tear my eyes off of the skyline and into his chocolate brown orbs. "I promise I'll never leave unless you give me a reason to. If you think I'm better off not knowing then it's fine. I trust you. I just worry, that's all."

His lips tilt upwards into a small smile. "I love you Serenity," his breath rickles my skin. "I love you for this," he says, placing his hand on racing heart.