Eternal_bond

denial

Keva

After all happened loky dropped me but didn't left before trying to get the frustration out of me but failed miserably cuz I pulled  my guards up again.
                        I have learnt my lesson now and life have shown me or you can say made me kiss her ass by banging me with the reality again. Never fucking ever trust anyone so easily. Dark fears of being ditched and betrayed surfacing in my heart again.
Nothing is trustworthy in this foul filthy world.

I am standing in front of the circular mirror in my bathroom looking at myself. "Damn, I'm done with this, done with blaming myself ,resting ,wiping, moping around and feeling sorry for myself." I banged my hand on the sink tile. Zee asked me before about what happened. I told her everything expect grano thing. I wasn't ready to pull that shit up yet.

"You.." I pointed at my reflection "you can't loose the sight of your goals, can't just throw away the hard work you've done so long. Focus..." I frustratingly gripped the counter tightly that my palms pained and a great pain surged through my both arms.

"Focus you need to focus, diamond baby you are diamond bright and tough." I mumbled. Taking deep breath to calm myself I splashed water on my face hoping this would help but it didn't. My eyes and heart sting with the pain and swelling red. I closed my eyes and let some tears make there way down my cheek.

After some time I walked out of bathroom but not before washing my face again.

"What with your red eyes, huh?" Zee asked me as I made my way to bed.

"Facewash." I answered her with single word cuz i always get facewash in my eyes while washing my face.

"Dumbo." She huffed.
I cuddled her from back and saw her chatting with someone but didn't bothered to know, who was that person that she's talking to in the middle of the night.

She changed her side facing me now. "Good night, I'm hell of a tired right now." I declared and surrendered myself to sleep.

Four months later.
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Vedic

I woke up with a terrible feeling of being choked by smoke around me and everything dark expect the light of a hell fire.

I sat on the side of my bed and propped my elbow on my knees, cold sweat beads dripping through my whole body. My hands trembled as I tried to whip my face. They turned in fist. Gritting my teeth I made my way to bathroom. I let the cold water of the shower strike my back where I put my forehead on blurred glass wall.
             They are back, the bloody fucking nightmares and flashes are back.
   I had this feeling that I should remember something that I am loosing a string of very important thing, but what? About what? There is something that I should remember but every time I stress my brain to do so I feel a sharp throbbing pain in my head, it's better not to disturb that thing not to stretch things to an extend where I loose everything that I have and loose the things that I'm going to own in future beforehand.
It's better shut, what if I couldn't close it anymore after that.

I shook my heading annoyance and walked out of the shower, drying myself with the towel I wrapped it around my waist. "Look what you made me do, love." I muttered as I saw my reflection in mirror.
Thinking of her and every darkness inside my brain washed away. When I think of her. it's like sun rising after the dark petrifying night, clear sky after heavy rain, calmness after storm and cool shadow in the dessert. Calmly flowing river and singing of birds. I couldn't describe her enough, never.
      I remember her trying to wake me up when I was down she called me "vedi."  The women in my dreams used to call me this but I loved when kay called me with that name. I wanted to get up and hold her to me but my body felt numb head paining like someone hammering it continuously. Then I saw her in hospital she was petrified I couldn't speak, I wanted to tell her that I'm fine but again my world went dark.
   That was the last time I saw her, laksh told me whatever happened in hospital, the way grano humiliated her blamed her for something that she never done. But grano still don't know if she wasn't present there may be I couldn't have been able to survive.
I was waiting for the right time to make grano realise her mistake. I understand whatever she has done and has been doing so long is for my own good. It wasn't her fault that she snapped out on keva, it was entirely my fault. Grano loves me dearly and I respect her decision but keeping keva away from me won't help and I need to get her back.