TARNISHING HER PURITY

Chapter 48: Mr. Romano

Maze POV:

I can't seem to get JB's face out of my head. His shocked facial expression, the sad look in his eyes, the intense glare that he gave Miles as he clenched his jaw and put his hands in a tight fist. Even though I told him that I'm not Maze I believe that there is still a part of him that doesn't believe me. I can't see him again I just can't, it's not good for me and it's clearly not good for him. If all his friends have managed to move on I want him to move on as well. He can't move on if I'm the person that is helping him move on, I'll make it personal and all he'll think about is how I look like Maze. I've moved on and I want him to move on too, I want him to be happy like me. I am happy, aren't I?

"Hey babe are you alright?" Miles asks me as he pulls me in bringing me back to reality. I look up at him and give him a kiss on the lips making him smile. Me and Miles have known each other for years, we met at university and he was a year ahead of me. He wouldn't give up, kept chasing after me and giving me flowers and food, the food really did help him. After 8 months of saying no I finally gave in and we've been dating ever since then and now we are 3 months engaged. It feels so surreal and I was happy so happy but that was before JB got back into the picture.

"Hmm er yeah I'm good why?" I ask him as I look up at him with my fake smile. I dont want to worry him or to make him think that I'm having second thoughts because I'm not. Nina Brown is in love with Miles Romano and can't wait to marry him because that's all I've ever wanted, to marry someone I see myself having a future with.

"You haven't been yourself since I walked in on you and that client" he answers making me sigh, I guess he's noticed too. I look down at my feet not wanting him to see the look I have in my eyes. "Should I be worried?" He questions as he lifts up my chin forcing me to look him in the eyes. I can't lie to him, I've never lied to him and I don't want to start now but I can't tell him about JB I just can't.

"No no babe it's just that I feel like I didn't do my job properly so I feel guilty" I respond trying to reassure him. Well I didn't lie, it's true I feel guilty for failing JB for living a good life whilst he's been suffering all this time because of me. These years I've been surviving living with the thought that JB has moved on that he's found someone new but knowing that he hasn't just strips away all that happiness I've found.

"Who was that guy anyways, he didn't seem too happy to see me" Miles comments as he rubs the back of his neck. I remember the look on JB's face when I told him Miles was my fiancee. He was broken and angry he looked worse then he did when he came meaning I didn't do my job properly.

"Yeah its just that I resemble someone who he once loved but she died a long time ago" I answer him trying my best to hold back the tears. I know that this is all my fault that I did this but I had no choice not really. Maze is dead and has been for a long time so I can't let my past ruin my future, my dream future, with my dream man.

"Hey why with the sad face?" He asks me as he places his hands on my cheeks. I put my hands on top of his and give him a pout feeling guilty for worrying him. He has nothing to worry about because I'm happy with him and anyways I doubt that I'll see JB again, I doubt our paths will ever cross over again.

"Nothing its just that I'm afraid he won't have what I have, what we have" I tell him as I remove his hands from my cheeks and give them a kiss making him smile. I loved JB I really did but me and him were never going to have a future it was impossible. The age differences, the lifestyle, it would all just clash but with Miles it all makes sense.

"Awh you're too nice and you get too emotional when it comes to your clients but hun you can't save them all" he says making me sigh. I know he's right I do get emotional when it comes to my clients because I just want to save everyone and that's why I love my job and that's why I beat myself up when I fail.