Second Chances

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Hello my darlings! I am so proud of this story! I really hope you all enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Buckle up it's going to get bumpy :)

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"Kenzie can I please talk to you?" The urgency in Reid's voice was evident. I stirred the punch before rearranging the plastic cups once, twice, and then a third time making sure everything looked as perfect as I could get it. 

"No. I have nothing left to say to you. I told you how I felt a year ago." I whirl around ready to get back to my mothers wedding reception. 

"Kenz, please." He begs. It's not like him to beg and I hate to admit that it pulled on my heart in the worst way, the way only he can affect me. I try not to act like it bothers me but it does. I don't want him to have this affect on me anymore. Truth is he has my heart and he has had it for a year and a half no matter how much I try to deny it. I was restocking the dessert table when a few passing by guests were watching us with questioning eyes.

I grabbed his arm and pulled him away from the reception. I led us out of the tent and down a stone pebbled sidewalk. Once we were on the other side of the gazebo I whirl around to face him. The same man I fell for a year and a half ago seems like a shell of the man I once knew. His chocolate brown hair that had hints of caramel colored streaks thanks to the sun was longer hanging on his forehead in a beautiful mess from not being brushed. His green eyes with golden flakes swimming in them aren't as bright as they used to be in fact they look dull and full of sadness and I feel my heart ache to take whatever pain he is feeling away but I can't bring myself to help him in any way.

"What is it Reid? I don't have time for this." I sigh impatiently not holding in the attitude dripping off of me. I am trying like hell to hold myself together but I feel myself caving but I won't give him the satisfaction. I can't. I won't. 

"I just want to say that I am sorry for hurting you-" I scoff rolling my eyes.

"Hurting me? You fucking broke me Reid. Look if you are here to say sorry it's too late for that. I have to go." I whirl around anxiously needing to get away from him. To put as much distance between us as I possibly can. He thinks he hurt me? He shattered every single piece of my heart and now he wants to say sorry?

"Kenz wait! No I am not here just to say that I am sorry. Look I get it I am an asshole, okay? I know that I tore you apart but I was scared. I was scared that if I was with you what that would mean for my image. Our parents were getting married for God's sake. I was so hooked on wondering what people would think of me, of you. I couldn't bare the thought of anyone giving you shit for being with me. People have their opinions and judgments. I figured I would leave and hope you would find someone you wouldn't have to hide your relationship with." I feel all the air in my lungs leave me at once almost crashing me into the ground.

"I got scared and left, left you. I didn't think twice about it. I thought it was what was best for you. For us but I was wrong. I thought about you every day. You were the first thing I thought of in the morning and the last thing I thought about before I fell asleep and everything in between. I found myself making stupid rash decisions but the thought of you and what you would think of me saved me." His eyes bored into mine begging me to believe him and I wanted to but I was so hurt and shattered probably beyond repair.

"Reid what is the point of all of this? If you ever expect me to forgive you, I can't. You left me, when I needed you the most. I was in the hospital Reid!" I felt tears welling in my eyes. Images surfing my brain of the day he left me flooded my mind and I felt my heart shatter all over again.

"I was scared Mackenzie! You told me you were pregnant and not even a few hours later we are in a bad car accident and you lose the baby. I saw it as my out. I was nowhere near ready to be a dad. Do you know what that would have done to us? How we would explain to everyone we were having a baby? We had barely just gotten together. You telling me you were pregnant was like a bucket of ice in my face. It sent me to reality but that was then. This is now. I am here. I am ready to be with you. I will shout it from the top of the mountains if you want. I will march in there right now and tell my dad and your mom that I am in love with you if that is what it will take."

"Are you insane? You think that all of that makes what you did okay? You think I was ready to be a mom? I was barely eighteen! But I was okay with being a mom because I knew that baby was half of you and I was so in love with you that I didn't care! I was prepared to figure things out. I didn't care what our families thought of us. I was happy! You ruined that! Not only did I have to grieve the loss of our baby I had to grieve losing you Reid and I can't do that again. I won't make it." The tears I had been fighting from falling started sliding down my face as if they were in a race to see who could make it down my cheeks the fastest.

"Kenz I am so sorry, so terribly sorry. I know nothing I can do or say will take away the pain I put you through away but please give me a chance to make it up to you. I am in love with you. You are it for me. Forever. You are all I want." Here he is standing in front me saying all the right things, willing to fight for us and what we had and all I can think about is how is he going to hurt me next time?

"Reid-"

"You said you were in love with me is that still true?" He grabs my hands in his squeezing them gently. Of course it's still true. Once you love someone it doesn't just go away.

"What does it matter?" I cry slamming my eyes shut as more tears slid down my face. 

"Is it true? Do you still love me?" He begged for an answer. My heart was racing inside of my chest like I had just ran a marathon even though I was just standing there. 

"Yes I still love you." I admit as a flash of lightening cracks across the dark sky. The sun had disappeared and dark broody clouds took over. Thunder and lightening booming and cracking all around the sky. A storm was a brewing but don't they say rain on your wedding day is good luck?

"Then let that be the reason you give me second chance. Kenz please. I love you. I will get on my knees right here and confess my love for you in the sweetest proposal if that is what you want because you are it for me. I want to marry you. I want to have lots of kids with you. I wasn't ready to admit it back then but I am ready to admit it now. Please."

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