Forbidden: Under The Same Roof

Promise To Myself

Graduation came and went. I decided not to go back to school after the accident. I just couldn't. I couldn't handle facing everyone after that. I couldn't hear the rumors that were no doubt spreading the halls. I couldn't face the realization that Reid was gone...but that was a month ago.

A long month where I went through all the phases of grief...alone. My mom tried to help but she knew there was nothing she could say so she just kept trying to get me to eat and drink as much as I can.

Hudson and Lennox have became more like brothers even than before. They don't bring him up around me and for that I am thankful.

A long month since I've buried myself in my room like a hermit. Once my body was healed I decided enough was enough. I started joining my family for meals again which caught them all by surprise.

"Good morning sweetheart! I made your favorite breakfast casserole!" My mom brightened up the instant I walked into the kitchen. I put zero effort into my appearance...I mean what's the point? The past month I've been living in pajamas and over sized t-shirts but today I actually put on jean shorts and a fitted v-neck. I actually brushed my hair riding it of all the tangles.

"Good morning Mom. Thank you it smells great." I smiled softly at her she looked me up and down before approval and happiness filled her eyes. I know she's been worried about me but I needed time to lick my wounds.

"Mack I have been debating on bringing this up given everything you've been going through this last month but your father keeps calling. I have been keeping him in the loop with your progress. He really wants to see you." My moms eyes flickered with concern. 

"Mom-" I started to protest as a gnawling feeling started to creep at the inside of my heart.

"Mackenzie I know he is the last person you want to see but he is your dad and he is worried. You almost died. I think it was a wake up call for him, you know to make things right. I really think you should at least try." Wrong. He is not the last person that I want to see. I'd rather see my dad than see Reid. 

"I'll call him." My mouth spoke before my brain could even register what I was going to say. 

"Thank you Mack." My mom offered me a grateful smile. We ate breakfast like we usually do. Where Robert reads the paper and Hudson blabs on and on with some nonsense about sports or whatever else comes to his brain. While Lennox either tunes him out or starts arguing with him it just depends on the day. Today it was an argument. Hudson swears he knows a damn thing about magnets and electricity.

"Yeah you try that and you will fry like a fucking french fry!" Lennox choked on a sip of water shooting his brother a look that screamed 'you are a fucking moron'.

"Dude no I am telling you if you use water it will stimulate-" Hudson waved his hands in the air starting to go on a rant about using water with electricity that would stimulate something I didn't understand but if I am being honest I wouldn't test anything that Hudson believes because it would be a recipe for disaster. 

"If you use water you will literally die! Hudson you cannot seriously be this stupid!" Lennox argued back the disdain evident in his voice. The banter back and forth between these two bring me a sense of normalcy. 

"No I wouldn't! Trust me I watched all kinds of videos about it on YouTube!"

"Oh that is comforting...you learning shit from YouTube. Hudson do me and everyone in this house a favor...don't test that theory or any other theories on electricity, Despite how small your brain is we still love you. It would be a shame if you actually tried one of these experiments and fucking died. Moron." Lennox shook his head rolling his eyes at his idiot of a brother. 

"Hey! I am smart." Hudson pouted sticking out his bottom lip out pouting like a child...like only Hudson does.

"I don't have the energy or time to sit here and argue with you all morning, I have a final to take. I will be back afterwards and if you want to pick up this conversation again we can." I giggled as I gathered all the dirty dishes and started to load the dishwasher. An audible gasp filled the kitchen my eyes lifted from the dishwasher towards where the sound came from. My mom stood there with a smile on her face and tears in her eyes.

"I never thought I'd hear you laugh again!" My mom rushed to my side wrapping me into a motherly hug. The feel of her comforting arms around me brought me a sense of comfort that only a mothers love can bring. Guilt filled my veins that I have been pushing her away this last month. I have been lost and broken...shattered even. Right then in that very moment I made a promise to myself to put together the broken pieces of my heart, to pull myself together. To make myself whole...as whole as I possibly can. Even if that means trying to make amends with my father.