tuggoffelees oneshots

eighty seven: the awefull battle of the pekes and the pollicles

ok so i have this headcannon that old doot told the story of the pekes and the pollicles to baby straps and baby tugger, and now straps tells it to all the kittens.

and then i got the idea that went like "oh my god what if tugger and misto adopted kids and then straps told them the story too"

     oh god i need names for these fuckers okay *frantically googles popular baby names*

*human au*

mistoffelees pov
     myself, tugger, and munkustrap  are having a boring adult conversation, when james, lucas, and zoey scamper into the room.

     i sigh quietly, setting down my tea mug. "you three are supposed to be in bed," i mutter.

     lucas, the youngest, grabs munkustrap's forearm with his chubby little hands. "but we wanted a bedtime story."

     "i read you four different books," tugger says. "but i guess i can read you another. which one?"

     zoey basically bounces up and down. "we wanted uncle munkustrap to tell us a story!" she chirps.

     out of the corner of my eye, i see tugger mouth "please" to his brother.

     james grabs munkustrap's other arm and tries to pull him out of his chair. "please."

     munkustrap gives me and tugger one final look, before succumbing to our children's orders. honestly, though, who wouldn't? they're adorable.

as the kids usher poor munkustrap away, tugger and i share a glance that says "we're definitely gonna follow them aren't we."

•••

"this story is about the awe-full battle of some dogs called 'the pekes and the pollicles.' of course, together with some account of the participation of the pugs and the poms, and the intervention of the great rumpus cat!" munkustrap says theatrically.

all three kids are sitting around him in a semi-circle. they all have their stuffed animals and blankets and pillows.

tugger and i are hiding just outside of the doorway.

"the pekes and the pollicles everyone knows are proud, and impeccable, passionate foes." munkustrap makes some silly faces for each of the adjectives.

"it is always the same wherever one goes. and the pugs and the poms, although most people say that they do not like fighting, yet once in a way they now and again join into the fray, and they—"

tugger jumps into the room and says, quite loudly "bark!"

i follow right after him, and also say "bark!"

"bark!"

"bark!"

"bark!"

"bark!"

"bark!"

"bark!"

munkustrap smiles at both of us, as we pretend to be dogs for the sake of entertainment. "until you could hear them all over the park," he says. "now on the occasion of which i shall speak, almost nothing had happened for nearly a week," he leans toward the kids a bit for emphasis, "and that's a long time for a pol or a peke."