Chapter 43

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C.J's POV

I walk up the steps to the door and hesitate before knocking.

"Hey. What are you doing here?"

"Is Sammy here?"

"No, you just missed him, if you want me to tell him you dr-"

"Actually I was here to talk to you, Nate."

"Oh okay, come in."

I walk in and sit on the couch.

"Is anyone here?" I ask.

"No. They actually went looking for Matt." He pauses.

"Oh."

"Sorry, I wasn't supposed to tell you."

"No, it's okay. That just means I have some time."

He sits down next to me on the couch but gives me some space.

"I actually wanted to talk to you about Sammy. I know you guys have been best friends for a while so I know I can tell you about anything he does or how he acts around me or anyone in gene-"

"Cut to the point. You're babbling."

"He said he loves me." I blurt out.

"What?"

"He loves me."

"When did he say this?"

"A few days ago."

"What happened to him?"

"What?"

"Nothing."

A tear streams down my cheek.

"Are you crying?" He asks stepping closer to me.

I nod.

"What have I done?"

-

Matt's POV

Lucy was my first. I can't just let her go after everything I've been through and definitely not after all these weeks. I'm not the kind of guy who gets all sappy and gross and clingy or whatever but Lucy's changed me and she's been a huge impact on my life. Lucy was my first, but she won't be my last.

-

I pull up into our driveway.

I can't hide anymore.

I walk inside and hope to find C.J.

"Hello! Is anyone home!"

"Matt! Where have you been man? We've been searching for you all over town." Sammy pulls me in for a hug.

"Away." I say into his shoulder.

"Dude, it's been months." Johnson says.

"I just needed to get away. I didn't want everything to happen all over again. I guess it didn't really work."

"Well, yeah. C.J has been different since you left."

"I know."

They all look up at me confused.

"I mean, I've heard."

"From who?"

"Taylor." They all look at each other.

"So, you've heard?"

"About?"

"You know, him and C.J?"

"Yeah. I did. But it was my fault."

"And you're okay with it?"

"I was gone. What was she supposed to do? She needed that electric shock to her, something to keep her alive and energetic and..risqué. And I just wasn't giving it to her." I look up from the ground to notice them all looking at me with sympathy in their eyes.

"Guys, stop. I'm fine. I did something just as bad to her."

"What could you have possibly done that was worse than what she did to you?" Johnson asks.

"I did the exact same thing to her."

"What the fuck? You had sex with Taylor? I didn't know you were-"

"Shut up Jack." Sammy says.

"I had sex with Bunny."

Their eyes go wide, but they're not looking at me. They're looking behind me.

-

C.J's POV

After all I've done, no one could do anything worse than what I've done to Matt, Gilinsky, Taylor, Bunny, Mickie, Johnson, Nate, and Sammy combined.

I hug Nate goodbye and thank him for all he's done for me and leave. I don't know where I'm going but I'm sure it'll lead somewhere.

-

Of all places--strip clubs, bars, art galleries, museums, my dad's house, my brother's house, anywhere..I had to go home.

I didn't know where else to go. I had no where to go.

I slam the door of my my car shut. Looking around confused at the familiar car in our driveway. Walking up the doorsteps and searching my purse for my keys, when I finally find them, I unlock the door and walk in. I spot the back of a head I haven't seen in a while.

"I had sex with Bunny." The voice I've been nostalgic for speaks. I drop my purse on the ground. Sammy and Johnson both look at me from the couch. Seconds later the head turns around with them. Matt. He was finally hear and this is what he's came home to confess. Maybe that's why he left. Maybe that's why he wouldn't let me touch him. Maybe that's why he wouldn't open up to me about anything. Here I was blaming myself when it wasn't even my fault. Maybe that's why he's been away for so long. Afraid that if I found out, I'd hate him. He stands up from the couch and walks over to me.

"C.J. I've been waiting for you."

"Why? So you can tell me about how you left and how you got me back? That we're even? Huh Matthew? Is that it?" He tries to grab my arm but I pull away. So much is going through my mind. I can't process anything.

"C.J just let me explain."

"There's nothing to explain. You had sex with my best friend. There's nothing to it. You did it to get me back, unless you-"

"No, no. I wouldn't ever. But, I had already forgiven you when I did it."

"So why'd you do it?" I start to cry.

"I was mad, stressed, hell I was hurt, and I never get hurt. I have once before and I hated it. I know about everything."

"Everything?"

"Everything. Even about Taylor."

"Shit. I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. I was stupid for it and-"

"Forget it. Its past. Taylor already told me everything."

"Matt, stop. I just, I just wanna know one thing."

"What?"

"Have you been with Lucy?"

-

a/n

I know I'm late.

-rx

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