Dancing On Thin Ice // KTH

Chapter 65

"We couldn't turn aroun... 'till we 'ere upside dow..." 

The blood rushed to Carmela's eyes and lips as she hung upside down on the bed, her head dangling over the side. 

"Ahhh fuck me... hehehe..." She felt light-headed as she chortled.

But that deep ache of pain pounded through her heart still, thudding inside of her chest. A sudden wave of emotion attacked her.

"Why... I just want... WHY CAN'T I EVER GET WHAT I WANT?" 

She rolled over, stuffing her face into the mattress, tears seeping into the cloth. A thick feeling came up into her throat, choking her, and she sobbed like she never had before. Unleashing the anger, the sadness, the longing, the confusion.... everything. 

"Ah..." Her stomach squirmed as she trembled on the bed, before sliding down to the ground. A revolting feeling boiled inside her stomach, and something shot through her as she realized what was coming up. Fuck... She quickly dragged herself to the bathroom, holding her stomach, and puked into the toilet.

"Ugh... ugh..." She groaned and looked away at the sight. Her vision was blurry and she couldn't really understand what she was doing, as she rinsed her mouth on her knees at the sink. 

Then she staggered back to the room and fell down to the floor, hoisting herself up against the leg of the bed. Ah... I feel so fucking disgusting... Her eyes felt dry as she stared with clouded vision at the dark ceiling. Her body felt numb and soon it had disappeared completely. All of her senses had blacked out. Except for her eyes. She could still see... him... in front of her eyes. 

She could see Tae. And herself. They were at her house. Talking. Ha, well fighting... Shit, I miss him...

"NORMAL PEOPLE KNOCK ON DOORS BEFORE THEY GO IN.  And I never lock the door with Aunt Kass so I fucking forgot!"

"HOW DID YOU FORGET I WAS IN YOUR  DAMN HOUSE?"

"BECAUSE, I DON'T THINK ABOUT YOU ALL DAY!" 

Another flow of tears streamed down Carmela's face as she recalled the memory of when he had come to her house... right after he had saved her from those perverted freaks... they had shared so many memories, so many moments. It just drove her fucking crazy. I've never felt so fucked up before... so broken...

"I do, Tae... I do fuckin think about you all day! Just let me be with you... I don't care if you don't love me... I... I do..." Her chest heaved with drunken sobs and she dropped her hands to her sides, her fingers smacking against the empty beer cans that littered the floor of her room.

Suddenly, her phone rang out. It was a little away from her, on the floor where she had thrown it.

"Shit..." Her heart sped up as she scrambled around, picking the phone up. She held her breath, peering nervously at the caller. But she slumped back in her spot when she saw who was calling. It wasn't the person she was expecting.

*Jules - 2 missed calls*

Holding the phone to her ear, she stayed silent until Jules' voice came through.

"C-Carmela?" It was Jules... but her voice... why was it like that? Carmela's drunk brain couldn't comprehend what was going on. Everything sort of felt hazy and dreamy.

"Huh?" 

"This is a-all your fault!" Jules voice trembled with sobs. "W-why couldn't you just... THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" 

Her scared whimpers filled Carmela's ear. She felt her mind begin to awaken, and a cold chill ran through her.

"Jules? Whas going on, where are you?" She tried to speak through the slur of alcohol in her numbed senses.

"YOU-- YOU RUINED EVERYTHING! NOW HE'S GONNA--" Jules frantic voice cut off as the call went silent.

Carmela gulped, her breathing getting heavy with shock and confusion. What just happened? Wait... what's even going on... nah that wasn't Jules... was that even real... or was it just a dream... yeah, it was a dream...

Her head spun as her eyes drifted to the ceiling and she fell back against the foot of her bed. A numbing sensation vibrated through her limbs and she lay there, unbothered, heartbroken and consumed by alcohol.

"I wanna sleep. Can we sleep now?" 

Tae's soft voice crept into her mind and she shivered, letting the painful memories engulf her entirely.

* * * * * * * * * * *

*Ding dong...*

"Huh?" Carmela lifted her head from her shoulder, wiping her mouth. She groaned as she straightened up her stiff neck. Her mind was a bit clearer now, even though it was pounding painfully. The room was pitch black so she scrambled around for her phone. She grasped it and squinted her drooping eyes as the screen lit up. 

*3:00 am*

"What the fu--" Carmela dropped her phone, standing up slowly. 

Who could be at the door this late? She rubbed her painful head and wiped her face with her fingers. Wait... the call from yesterday... maybe it really was Jules and not a dream. What did she even say... ugh, can't remember. Maybe she was at the door right now. 

Carmela took a shaky breath and her throat felt raw as she gulped. Then she realized she was literally naked, and quickly pulled a long t-shirt over her sore body. Her chest hurt from the all of the crying earlier, but she endured it, and stepped out of the room with wobbly legs. 

As she made her way down the hall, her eyes kept drooping and a painful gnawing kept scratching at her throat. I need water. It felt like she was suffocating and she felt the sudden urge to throw up again. But she blinked a couple of times as she stood at the front door. Her brain felt half dead, so before she could even think about what she was doing, she yanked the door open and rainy cold air blew onto her skin.

A shock sparked through her veins as she gazed at the boy in front of her and she dropped her hand to her side, her heart pounding louder than her head. His blood shot eyes were hidden behind his curly hair that blew with the wet stormy wind, but he stared hard at Carmela, his jaw clenched. 

Carmela stepped back from him, choked and frozen for words, as he towered in front of her.

Then his lips parted, and his muscled face softened just the slightest. 

"Tae... W-why are you--" Carmela heard herself say.

"Just shut up."