If we have each other// Sillie•

XXXV

<while the group was out to get Mia, Lilia and Jillian were left alone in the van>

Since the night that Jillian came back, Lilia has been very careful and gentle with her. She didn't know what happened to Jillian as she was captured, but she also never started that conversation and Lilia didn't want to force her. But she had to talk about it someday. So why not that day?

-Jill?, asked the blonde girl.

-Hm?, replied Jillian still looking out the window.

-Can we talk?, wondered Lilia.

-We are talking., chuckled the older girl.

-You know what I meant., said the other teenager.

-What do you want to talk about?, asked the curly head.

-What happened there? What did they do to you?, asked Lilia now looking at her girlfriend.

-Lilia..., started Jillian.

-Listen, you don't have to tell me, I won't make you. But you can't deny that something happened, because it clearly something happened. You've changed, Jill., replied the blonde girl.

-How would you feel? Getting knocked out, then waking up in the dark, your hands tied, tape on your mouth. I didn't even feel like I was awake because of the dark. I felt like I was stuck in some kind of nightmare or a coma. Trust me, that's already enough to mess with your head, don't you think?, said Jillian now looking her girlfriend right in the eyes.

-Yes, that I know that it must have been terrifying, I get that. But I feel like something else happened that you don't want to talk about., replied Lilia.

-I thought you weren't going to force me to talk about it?, provoked the older girl.

-I'm not. I'm just trying to understand babe. I know that I can't even start to imagine how you felt when that happened. But you also need to understand that I can't just guess what happened there. I want to help. I want to know what I have to pay attention to. I didn't even look at you the previous days when you changed clothes because I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable. I hold back from being too touchy. I give you space and privacy. I want to know what more I can do to make you feel comfortable and like yourself again. Because you clearly don't., replied Lilia slowly and gently grabbing Jillian's hand and caressing it.

-And I love you for that. But I just need tim-, started Jillian but she startled as she heard a gunshot.

There was another shot. Lilia hold her hand and squeezed it lightly. Jillian sighed and looked down at their joined hands.

-They...They blindfolded me and they-...they had a taser. I was tied up, only my hands. They opened my flannel a-and would start tasing me and pushing me around. I can hear them laughing and hear my-myself yelp every time I felt the taser against my skin. I couldn't s-see or stop them f-from hurting. They played a-around with me like I was some kind o-of toy. So yes, I do appreciate that you don't t-touch me without a warning. But I also can't sleep in the dark. I haven't slept for 2 days Lilia. I am exhausted. I am tired. Every time I close my eyes, I feel like I'm back in that wall, hitting it and begging for someone to let me out., explained Jillian as her voice kept breaking.

-They won't hurt. They won't hurt you ever again. I promise., swore the younger girl looking her in the eyes in the softest way possible.

-You killed them all?, asked her girlfriend genuinely curious.

-I shot everyone except for Dacre. He got a special treatment., replied Lilia.

-Special treatment?, wondered Jillian.

-Just know that he won't be back., smiled the blonde girl lightly.

Jillian nodded and sighed. She started looking out the window, now caressing Lilia's hand, enjoying her girlfriend's company. She knew that Lilia cared and that she loved her. She couldn't wish for better. There probably isn't better. For her of course. She wished she could be comfortable like she was before, but somehow she couldn't get what happened out of her head. Yes she was glad that she managed to open up about it and especially to Lilia. It was like a weight leaving her shoulders. She knew she could trust Lilia.

-Thank you, my love., whispered Jillian looking at Lilia again.

-Don't thank me. That's what I'm here for. To love you and to help you and of course protect you., replied the younger girl.

-Same here. I love you so much, you can't even imagine., admitted the other teenager.

-Where is all this love coming from?, joked the blonde girl.

-From my heart., replied Jillian smiling.

-You're an idiot., chuckled Lilia.

-No. I am YOUR idiot., said the older girl.

-Hell yes you are., agreed the curly haired. 

-I really want to kiss you. Is that ok?, asked Lilia.

-More than ok., replied Jillian smiling like an idiot, being totally in love with Lilia.

Lilia just went for it and kissed her girlfriend, but not too roughly, knowing that she needed to be careful and control herself. Jillian kissed back obviously, smiling into the kiss, missing her girlfriend's lips on hers. Jillian took the seatbelt out and slowly moved closer, while kissing Lilia until she sat on her lap. Lilia, surprised by her girlfriend's reaction, just didn't move, continuing to kiss her. Jillian noticed her girlfriend being froze so she pulled away.

-Are you ok?, asked the girl worryingly.

-Yes, I just uh, I don't know what I can do or not without triggering anything., admitted Lilia.

Jillian nodded, understanding the situation, and slowly moved Lilia's hands on her hips.

-This is ok. You can also move your hands up to my face. That's ok., explained the older girl slightly embarrassed. 

Lilia smiled and nodded, kissing her girlfriend again, while caressing her hips gently. Jillian subconsciously started grinding, which Lilia obviously noticed, but she just let her, knowing that if she would say something, she would stop, and to be honest Lilia did not want her to stop. Suddenly, a door opened. Lilia tickled her girlfriend, but Jillian didn't expect that so she slapped her. Lilia just looked at her with her hands up, showing that she's not gonna do anything.

-Oh my god, Lilia, I-, started Jillian.

-No, don't apologize. I shouldn't have done that. It's just that, the other are coming., interrupted the blonde girl.

-But still-, tried the older teenager again.

-No. It's okay., replied Lilia.

-It's the second time that this happened., sighed Jillian.

-It's ok. I promise. It was a reflex, I understand., explained the younger girl.

-Ok, ok., said the other teenager climbing off her girlfriend and sitting back on her seat.

Sadie walked up with a girl in her arms. She gave her a questioning look, to which Lilia just made a head movement to point at Jillian who was currently looking out the window.

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A/N: filler chapter and a bit of backstory to what happened to Jillian. Next chapter will start with a slight filler paragraph and thennnnnnn things will get... quite interesting hihi